Who Needs a Globe When You Have Paper

Whenever I get to interview someone that's been on NPR I feel pretty darn glowy.  When I get to interview someone that Terry Gross has interviewed, I feel like the Media Gods are handing me a gift.  Today on the radio show that I co-host with my good pal Jennifer, we interviewed Gretchen Reynolds, who not only was interviewed by Terry Gross twice, but is also a blogger for the NY Times.  I'm doubly intrigued!  So at some point I should go ahead and write up that blog for Scorpion Equinox...something that I've discovered I am terrible at keeping up with.  PR is totally not for me unless it was the only thing that I had to do.  Even eating would divert me from the task, so yes, the ONLY thing I could be assigned to. 

Dang.  I just dropped so many links it looks like the ticker tape parade just came through here.

And I just saw something stuck in my hair.  Popcorn.  White cheddar from Trader Joe's.  Holy sober sloberino.  I am out of all beer.  Porkslap, Blue Moons and Other.  A few were wasted when I saw a tiny bit of rust around the neck after the cap came off.  It wasn't until one night I employed the Eff It superpower and drank it anyway that I noted I'm here still.  Live and learn.  So I had this astrology vodka nip in the cabinet.  I drank the Scorpio one months ago.  All that was left was Pisces.  I originally picked it up for a friend who had to cancel.  She knows who she is.  I'm drinking your nip, Girlie!  Maybe I will feel more intuitive with the Pisces one.  I'm already a water sign so I may not notice the difference if there is one.  

So I have been receiving some leveled up angry emails from Flip.  I didn't think he could still be angry.  By now it has to be boring to be in a mono-emotive vibe for so long.  He is still going on with the Earth is Flat theory.  What that means to me, is that he started off with a misunderstanding two or three weeks ago.  I gave an explanation to clear up any misunderstandings that had to do with my feelings, motives or actions.  Hence, the world is not flat, the world is Round.  Now that you know the New information, you can base any thoughts, theories, questions and emotions off of this New information that completely negates the Old information.  Not so.  It makes too much sense.  Flip is disregarding the globes, the satellite photos, the high profile aliens with diagrams and proof shots.  The earth is still flat, it always was and whatever you say won't matter.  We will simply reset the computer date to before this conversation that cleared things up and will keep fighting the old fight built on false narratives. 

To me, the advice that I've heard regarding being the partner of a narcissist is really sort of against all that I believe.  They tell us to Run!!!  Run, they can't really be helped!  Or perhaps it is the rare person who can see outside of themselves and heal.  But think about it...a narcissist can not see anyone's point of view but their own.  They are never to blame.  You caused all of your woes AND theirs.  They seem to take Woes, change up the spelling and utilize it just as strongly...OWES.  You OWE them.  And they'll let you know it in no uncertain terms.  So when I hear the advice to simply Get Out before you're Got, it saddens me.  I want to believe that every situation is fixable.  But when you really think about it, how can it be most of the time?  And now this "monster" that you've invested so much into has to be thought of something poisonous and toxic in order to remove yourself and heal.  

Me personally....I'm going to need some time.  Maybe not years.  But some time.  I need to unravel the puppet strings of guilt, manipulation, shame, doubt so that I can start from the ground and build up again.  I feel hopeful so far and it's only been 2 1/2 weeks.  I have to admit that I'm fueled by every email he sends belittling me, calling me names and trying to insult me.  The untruths boil my blood but see Earth is Flat theory.  There's no helping that. All I can do is control me.  My replies will not stoop to these levels....and for some time have not.  I will admit feeling goaded and giving in at times to freezing the shit before smacking it back so I felt no splatter.  But in the last few weeks, I've done my best to avoid being sucked in.  Now I understand why it is advised with this type of personality to just cut it off completely and not speak with them.  

I've had more pleasant situations lately, one being that I stepped on a thumbtack with my bare foot yesterday.  And seeing that I walk like a descendant of Attila the Hun, my heel slammed down on it so hard that it was flat up against my heel.  I hopped over to hold on to a piece of furniture and then looked.  I wasn't in a hurry...I wasn't sure that I wanted to know what it was because it still had to come out.  It felt like it took extra long to pull it out but after my daughter's offer to do it for me, it was worth the agony.  That's ok hon, I don't need it being dragged out with your inexperienced fingers tugging and pulling it in 19 different directions on the way out.  You can just kiss me when I'm done washing the dirt off my feet from walking around barefoot, and then having a tack shove two layers of it straight into my bloodstream. 

Pisces vodka is done and now to toggle between Jon Stewart and Frasier.  Nighty night all!

Cozy Autumn Days

A well desired day off work! It is rainy and windy and yet 25 degrees higher than it should be this time of year for the New York/New England area. Perhaps a Halloween without millions of kids dressed as Burlington Coat Factory ads after all!

I rarely miss a day of taking pictures during the fall. Sometimes that involves throwing myself into situations where others just become so curious or concerned. When I happen upon a Must Have moment with the camera, the pull over rate of cars that see my car pulled over and me out of the car is rather high. And I have to say, there are some good people out there. All of them ask if I am ok.

Or are they asking if I am ok to have running around in society? Maybe THAT'S really it!

Today was one of those mornings. Humanling had a morning seizure, which guarantees her a mom-chauffeured life to school once she is up and feeling better. On the way back, I hopped out of my car....so many wonderful images to capture...with the ambience of morning darkness, rain clouds and autumn landscape! And...a car pulled over...

It is comforting to know that that in this area, for the most part, I won't have to panic if I do need outside assistance. But in the age of cell phones and individual privatization, we don't venture far out of our borders to extend ourselves or receive others in the form of many friends, nevermind getting to know new strangers. Unless of course, they have an avatar online.

My mate chuckles to himself frequently when I come home a few moments later than I said I would....Look at my new photos that I took on the way! Or... Come help me unload all this great wood I found on the way home! And I will gather any wood that I can lift, bugs scurrying all over it and all, in any shoes that happen to be gracing my attire that day. One of my former bosses passed me the other day, in platform shoes on a winding side road, carrying a huge log to my car.

"It WOULD be you." she simply said and laughed.

Today has been a mish mosh of nice things to do when home on a rainy day off.

~Enjoy an hours long round of Colonization (PC game) with the honey. Our 'cold' weather gaming habit. It isn't cold today but he loaded it regardless, and hoped to rope me in. He won.

~Have more cups of nice, hot and tasty coffee....just because we're here and that's reason enough to enjoy life's tastes and small moments

~watching the adorable tufted titmouse land on the feeder. Their eyes are just so button-like to me compared to other birds. They seem pretty comfortable around us if we are outside.

~A wonderful meal made of white beans, BBQ sauce, grapeseed oil and yes, topped with kettle cooked potato chips. Yes I did. It was good.

~Snuggles in between turns on our game. Drive by I love you's. And a hand on my back, rubbing it strongly enough to make me purr.

~Although the reason for it was a headache, a small siesta, in which I went deep into the well of sleep for a short while. Head feels much better!

~Waking up and knowing that the coffee was hot and simply waiting in the French Press downstairs. There it is, proudly adoring my space on the desk! Isn't it just so cute?! (No there's no photo for that but close your eyes and imagine it in the way that best suits you and makes your toes curl!)

~Some interesting research for my show today, Scorpion Equinox. I do loves me some good and progressive info! Honey might be my show mate today until my co-host shows up. If not, then I will have the fun and challenge of a solo show! Skill Testing time! (www.blogtalkradio.com/scorpion-equinox-)

~And for now...a moment of silence while mate walks his mom's dogs and I await his return in order for him to take the conch in our game. We never move each other's characters! Executive decision making in this case is an absolute no no!

Hope your present moment is exactly where you are most happy with it!

Scorpion Equinox Guest Information

Tonight's guest on Scorpion Equinox was Azim Khamisa. Whew. If you need an inspiration revival, look no further. Check out Azim's interview on the Blogtalk button in the right side of the column and see his website at http://www.azimkhamisa.com/. Azim also has co-authored a new book out called "The Secrets of the Bulletproof Spirit: How to Bounce Back from Life’s Hardest Hits".



In other Scorpion Equinox related news, we were honored also to have Dawson Church on our show in February with Nick Ortner regarding EFT. Besides Dawson's hearty laugh and fabulous accent, he also has a book out called "Genie in Your Genes." If you enjoy epigentics or mind and body information, you really have to check him out. See http://www.geniebestseller.com/. For a very limited time, you can also win an e-book Kindle by ordering "Genie in Your Genes".

I love this gig.

Happy Belated Beltane!

Hello everyone - everytime I'm away from the Bloggersphere I miss you guys terribly. And yet at night, I've mostly been able to get away from the computer by 9:30-10pm. I try to minimize exposure since I work on one all day long. That and sometimes I just feel dull AND scattered. So that's no fun for anyone around me - scattering dullness hither and thither!

I am pre-caffeine at the moment but am ok with that. There is Irish jig music playing in the kitchen to keep the running dishwasher and boiling eggs company. The Electric Company show is playing in here. I'm too lazy to shut one of them off. Or maybe I'd rather write while the moment is lending itself in this way.

The radio show is going wonderfully for us and it does take extra time to work on - probably another reason (ha ha...a BIG reason) why I haven't blogged in so long! Upcoming on our show is a man who's son was murdered in an act of gang violence (his son was not in a gang, he was a pizza delivery boy). Azim Khamisa reached out to his son's 14 year old killer and realized there were victims on both sides of the gun. This man is amazing. He has built a foundation in his son's honor and did what many people think they cannot do. He took his son's death and turned it around to an act of forgiveness so huge - many of us probably have no idea what that feels like. Anyway, if you're interested, he will be on with us this week.

We are excited, it seems we have Martha Stewart's holistic vet, Dr. Shawn coming onto our show (Alan hurry and get a cat!), along with Sherrie Brooks Vinton who wrote Real Food Revival. We'll be having a show on apartment gardening and have tentatively scheduled someone on to discuss the disappearance of the bees. We're not totally sure if she can make it yet as the time difference is huge (she is in England). And of course, I have to mention again, I love Bruce Lipton, he will be on in October.

At the start of this post, the Humanling walked over to me and mentioned that she found a new loose tooth. Before I got to the last paragraph, I was poked on the shoulder so that I could see the bloody tooth, now in her hand. She's so funny. Just couldn't leave it in there. Well I guess this shows me a spot of her determination. And I can be rest assured that her fingers will not be in her mouth out in public, wriggling germs all over it.

Kyyo and Yuki have their two different cages and are beautiful little boys. Very different personalities as Yuki is rambunctious and fearless (except when Kyyo is put with him).

Azrael and Princess are chasing each other through the house from time to time now and I do catch them sleeping on my bed close to each other but not cuddling. Azrael had a pissfest last week when Humanling took out the bubbles and started blowing them. Princess just looked so absolutely adorable swatting them with her little Persian paw. We never see this side of her. Azrael eventually had it up to *here* with the cuteness and pounced on her.

Humanling's dad is in a spot of trouble for sure. He has been charged with assault in the first degree. He gave me the story and it sounds as though it was self-defense for a friend but I am told by someone else that he has very little chance of getting out of this. Apparently, outside of a bar some Iraq vets and Cavey's friend (we'll call him Scott Fargus), Scott were in an ugly verbiage. Cavey basically said to Scott, Come on, let's just go home. But then the Vets called them "old" and really, Scott can't back down ever. Never does. Problems ensued, Scott was held down and repeatedly tasered in the Hoo Hahs and Cavey had no choice but to do whatever it was that he had to in order to stop it. The next step was advanced violence on Cavey's part to get the guys off Scott and apparently Cavey is the only one who was arrested. He came to my house, drink in hand. When I say drink. I mean like an open glass that you would walk around your house with or what your friend's mom gave you when you visited. A drinking glass. It had an orange soda and alcohol in it. I don't know who drove him or allowed it in the car, but he got here and sobbed when he got to the part of what he had done. It's possible that he will be gone for quite some time but we'll have to see because somehow that guy is greased and slips out of many things.

And now, for a nice bit of happening. Today is May 2nd, that day 13 years ago that I fell completely for a guy and we'd never been able to fully make it work, no matter how good it felt. Much of it I believe is my own issue but at the same time, I don't believe where we are now is possible without any of it. But with time and determination and genuine feelings, we've decided its time to make it all worthwhile. I'm a-changing his name on here too. It used to be :doot: but now it's gonna be El. El as in L as in Lobster. We're getting married this summer in NYC! We're looking at July 25th right now as the date. His mom will be here from Brazil and I think she's never been here before. He also hasn't seen his family in over a decade so we coincided the wedding with the visit.

So now we are getting things together for this July and it isn't a whole lot of time, but its time enough. A good Virgo & Scorpio team we are and this is our first working project!

My mom would love us to do it in CT but she just is paranoid of getting lost in Manhattan. The woman grew up in Brooklyn. But I can understand her fear. We're pretty sure everyone will get there juuuuust fine.

So Alan, I might be in the neighborhood more than I was. We were down there, Humanling and I a couple of weeks ago. Humanling had a seizure though (probably out of too much sun exposure and excitement and lack of sleep) the morning of going down (but she is fine when its over and her day is to continue as usual unless she's really tired) and then on the train ride back when I went to wake her to get off the train. Humanling's seizures are always upon waking when they occur. I've been lucky to be a part of some good yahoo groups and am learning from another person or two's experience. For this train trip I had some very very nice young guys carry Humanling off during the tail end of the seizure because that was our stop and I had our bags too.

Epilepsy is a tricky thing. Very delicate to handle sometimes. And when things are going well for months with no seizures, I slip into a comfort zone and that's when it will happen again. She always needs enough sleep, not too much sun or excitement and high protein/fat, lower carbs it seems. It's all trial and error. But I'm grateful that it is what it is. I've heard horror stories from other parents and I will take our hand, thank you.

It does indeed feel like coffee time now. I must get the homestead cleaned up for the date with my Virgoian fiance later to celebrate a whole new world that opened up 13 years ago.

A big hug for everyone and I hope you all have a beautiful and inspiring weekend!

x0x0

Closet and Raging OCD'ers Come On Down!

Just to let everyone know, this week Scorpion Equinox will have guest Jeff Bell on, author of Rewind, Replay, Repeat. Jeff is the national spokesperson for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and a radio show host for KCBS Radio in the afternoons, the CBS Network’s San Francisco flagship. His website is http://www.beyondthedoubt.org/.

Our show is on at a special time this week since we wanted to work with Jeff's schedule and you know how us OCD'ers are...we really really really really wanted him on. Listen on Thursday, April 9th at 1pm EST.

Naturally I'm excited because I've had the good fortune to enjoy OCD since I was eight. So if you feel compelled, then listen.

Ok?

Ok?

Is that ok?

Ok?

Welcome Little Purple Crocuses!

That is my favoritist Scientist up there, Bruce Lipton. He wrote Biology of Belief and it Rocks!

Sometimes its really frightening how long I go without blogging...or reading other blogs. I feel like my dayjob should just understand that reading other blogs on company time is actually like a break! And then we all come back (well, our eyes do since we never really got our winterized butts out of the chair to begin with) refreshed to work.

The radio show has been going well and my friend Jennifer and I are simply driven about it. Sometimes you create a goal for yourself that requires real work. By 'work', I mean that you have to jazz yourself, take a deep breath and do that thing you "wanted" to do. But then is it really something that you wanted to do? Really really really wanted to do?

This show has not felt like that at all. It is truly something I want to do. Working on it is invigorating, exciting, enlightening for me. I am so insanely happy that I am communicating once a week with Jennifer and someone that we feel is incredible to be able to speak with and spread their knowledge amongst others.

This has been an incredible weekend in many ways. One of them being a goal that I had set for myself. I would joke with Jennifer about this one guest that I simply need to have on the show. The hardest part for me was even to approach this guest to ask for an hour. He is so huge in his area of expertise that I was terrified to even ask. I happened to be in a relaxed vibe late one night and then just went for it. I heard back the very next day that Bruce Lipton is indeed accepting the hour with us!!!! Bruce Lipton is like the Godfather of Epigentics. He is my Scientist Rock Star. Well, he and Gregg Braden.

On another note, it was a turn of events yet again in the relationship arena. A good one. I won't go into it yet....but it is good fortune and at some point it will make its way to the bloggersphere.

Our hissing cactus of a kitty has gotten very friendly now. She no longer spats at us when we feed, get close to or try to pet her. She is like Azrael the Demon, in that they both enjoy watching "M" the guinea pig. She doesn't bother him, just takes him in a bit, and thankfully not by mouth. She enjoys Azrael's various haunts around the house, which has pushed Az over the edge into somewhat of a part time bully. They'll be buds in a few months. It's a small apartment.

Humanling and I watched the Nick Kids Choice Awards last night. I hate that Dwayne Johnson isn't repulsive.

Hubby #1 called today and mentioned that he went out on a bad date with an ex who he dated before he even knew me. He said she talked junk about me and even about our daughter, saying that she's a beautiful girl but a mistake on his part to have had her. Now, realize that this is his version, which means it could have have happened all in his imagination. I told him that I was going to contact her right there on the spot to say a few words and he did not even try to stop me so I'm guessing that his imagination is quite vivid.

Now, I am a peaceful girl with no real want for this kind of drama. I don't care what is said about me. But if you pick on kids then I do wonder how that person is thinking. I simply emailed her saying that she doesn't know me personally and never has, so anything she has to say regarding me can be laughed off as tabloid material. But.....verbal negativity about our child from someone who wants to date my ex is going to be a no no. I did say that we are still close - which we are. He makes my eyes roll constantly since we have different ideas about how to live our lives. He doesn't see our daughter hardly ever but they do speak on the phone pretty consistently and that makes her happy. I mentioned to her that indirectly, whoever is with him, is going to need to be comfortable with us being a part of his life and that even my parents still consider him family (now THAT is true...even after any chaos I've gone through over him...but he's not abusive or a cheater...he's just more of a deadbeat sort of issue and can't seem to hold down a consistent job). I also said that if she ever married him, I would most likely be the best man at her wedding, so the insecurity can't do any good. I made sure not to sound in the least like the jealous ex wife, because I'm not kidding - that is not a part of it at all. I'm the first one to wish him to find an intelligent and wealthy wife.

She did write me back and said she didn't say that like he thought. Well, I replied, that's between she and him now and good luck.

I was rather surprised to see that he was not embellishing that she really wants to be with him. Her Facebook wall clearly states that he is her true love. I thought that was cute.

I certainly don't want to be harsh. I will be direct but I don't want to be negative. Humanling is as far from a mistake as the order of the universe. She was very much a planned child and very much wished for.

Well, there is something on the stove, and it bears repeating that Shades can't be on the blog and cook at the same time unless we like to eat things in the shade of black.

Oh wait - American Idol faves are currently Adam and Allison.

Hope everyone is enjoying the beginning of the Spring Equinox!!!

Can I Just Take the Extra Hour From Work Tomorrow To Not Vacuum?

Who had beautiful weather today??? Today had on its GOOD makeup! We wore light sweaters if we even needed that.

I should be sitting down with my jewelry and creating some things for the next three upcoming shows....BUT...I've chosen to do dishes, laundry and everything in between. Ever do that? You have something to tend to and suddenly you don't mind doing the litter box? I love making jewelry but as many folks who do crafts know, lots of little pieces and *things* and they're not always in the best organization. Making something requires opening all the containers and pulling out all the components. It has been started. And then Humanling's hungry buzzer went off and I had to go be all mom and stuff.

She's having those mung bean things again. How could I make jewelry while my small motor skills were all messed up from shuddering?

*Important Note*

This week we are having a healer on our show. This is a call in show and if you would like to speak with Glen Philips, it would be a great time to call in. He is also an animal communicator. Our call in number is (646) 716-5953 and this show is on March 11th at 5:30 EST for one hour.

Both my co-host and I have had healing sessions with Glen previously. Mine was over a year ago. He is just so wonderful and gentle and is an empath. He knew I was thirsty because he was thirsty.

But back to other personal items. We have a new family member! I'd take a photo of her but the camera doesn't turn corners or act as a downward periscope. We are the second home for Princess, a 4 1/2 year old indoor cat. She came from a great home but they have three children, all under the age of seven. The mom felt it best that she go somewhere where she may have more attention.

So she is here, under the furthest corner of my bed, nearly folded in thirds to keep herself safe. Az the Demon has only had the pleasure of sniffing under the door. We're hoping that Miss Princess will come check us out tonight during the night. Humanling is sad that she can't touch her yet. Although as an adult, we know these things better, we know that the frightened animal will come out, we still feel sad for their insecurity. I gave her former owner a baggie full of coconut hershey kisses for his sad kids. And oh yes they did...they made coconut filled kisses. They are amazing. And I'm not a huge wax chocolate fan.

In other news, the economy seems alive and well in my neck of the woods. On our walk this morning, there was a roll of sushi on the ground. See people?! We have money. We can buy sushi and throw it around like confetti around here!

Things are lowtide in guyville. Single dad has emailed me every day, and we do have a good repoire. I'm just a Princess hiding in the furthermost corner under the bed when it comes to relationships. He's asked me for the Saturday night slot to check out a comedy club. I miiight, Rabbit...I might....

That would involve babysitters though. I usually don't have an army of them hanging around...especially people who know the food code.

Capricorn has been hovering over/flirting with his friend's wives on Facebook and enjoying his new spot at work with new faces around him. I do notice the sudden increase in time spent around certain desks and well, that's ok. We're free agents. The constant need for all this attention and ego stroking does nothing for me though and doesn't have me running in his direction. I mean we all like attention, but you haven't seen THIS. Well, you probably have in someone else.

After asking me to hang out over and over ( I usually decline because I like to try and get things done - read up for the upcoming shows, research ideas for new shows, meditate, stay connected with God - God and I are SO gonna be BFF's, do the jewelry, look for new shows and oh yeah...feed and raise that humanic animal that calls me 'mom') he finally asks for a moment of my time at work. What I have to briefly say here, is that I actually have two jobs at work. I was a guinea pig a year and a half ago to test out people covering two positions. I'm always busy for the most part. He seems to float around like a tumbleweed for a good part of the day, coffee cup in hand, talking to the womens. I don't actually know what he does. And I've asked. I just don't get a straight answer.

So all that said, he comes to my desk and asks if he can walk me to my car when I leave. That would be fine but he wants to *talk*. I dash out of there on a strict schedule to come home, boot up the laptop and get my butt outside to welcome the Ling home off the schoolbus.

I tell him that he has to stop talking as soon as I get to my car if that's the case because I have a schedule. He gets sorta Eh with me and I'm Eh with him but as we're walking, he goes back to his desk, so I simply say I'll email him later.

When I finally get to my car, I turn around and there he is. He had to have run partially to get to where he was. There are tears in his eyes and he says he feels like crying and that he can't take it anymore.

I can't speak Crumb so I'm not sure exactly what they feel like but I'm pretty sure I was experiencing the emotions of a crumb. I felt really bad for him and that I somehow had something to do with this. I said we'd figure out when to talk since he said he had so much to say.

He came over later on and he did bring with him a wonderful vacuum cleaner of his that he didn't want and had hardly used. My house is 100% looking hot since getting sucked.

He started to talk but then said he forgot all of what he wanted to say. This is kinda how things go with him. And he's a guy who writes things down all the time. Normally he would have a 3rd draft with him and read off of it. So I don't know what that's all about.

And I knew he would be up in arms about Princess so I didn't tell him until Friday. I knew he would say to me "you already have enough to do, you don't have time as it is, blah blah blah".

This is why I don't do the relationship thing with him. We don't think alike mostly ever. I am grateful for this awesome vacuum cleaner and did offer money for it. I just don't know what this person sees for potential with us. It's just very odd for him to say these deep and heartfelt things and then he makes passes at the wives. I'm no prude and I believe in flirting but I probably wouldn't hit up my friend's hubbies on a social network and instigate.

So pluh.

We're trying hard to downsize here in the apartment since it gets cluttered fast. I keep trying to tell myself that as we went to the Goodwill and bought a few things. I can't help it - the shoes are such a steal!!! And I got this KILLA spring dress! Even the check out ladies were hatin'....in a nice way of course. I am a paying customer, after all. Humanling hated me for three stretches of a nanosecond because I refused to buy her a lava lamp that didn't bounce.

New shoes, vacuumed house, beautiful day.

And if anyone needs a little healing work or wants to discuss their animal, call us this Wednesday!

Snow Flakes Thought Bits

I always miss when I don't blog for a bit. It makes it hard to even look at the Google webpage to search anything. The guilt is overwhelming. For myself of course...not that I think anyone out there is just refreshing the page over and over to see if there's a new post!

Humanling and I ran into her chorus teacher at Borders last night. She was raving about HL's voice. She said that she has such a pure and clean 'kid' voice when she sings. That's funny, they say that about me too. Not. She said if she could single out a boy and girl to solo it would be my Lingish and she named this other boy.

The things I have no idea go on....! I was so impressed! I think I shat gold pieces right there in Borders....which is dangerous because I don't wear underwear unless it's *necessary*. (I'm a hater on pantylines and the wrong underwear just slices your otherwise nice lookin' butt into halves, which shouldn't happen) The Ling doesn't let me hear her much though. Last night she was singing in Borders when I wasn't in the same aisle and I just stood listening to her...she was singing the Beatles. =) Spoiled brat...I bought her this huge Beatles lyric book for $9.99. I've read that people born on the day of 6 are naturals at singing. I do know that my co-host of Scorpion Equinox IS a singer, and has a fabulous voice. Even her voice on the show is just full of beautiful ennunciation. I'm a 6 as well, and yo, I can Sang. But only my steering wheel, Humanling and the ex husband (#2) would know that. He and I used to write and record music together. The Humanling is also a 6. Are there 6's who agree that might read this? Or non 6's that disagree?

Humanling has just descended into tonight's blog and wants me to give an honorable mention to her boy Barbie doll, known to most of us as Ken, known to her as Kevin Voltez Doodoo. I have no idea why Kevin. Why Voltez. Doodoo I can understand.

During the week, through the amazing function of the Facebook Instant Message, I spoke to someone who has been mentioning getting out for a drink together for the last month or so. Someone I knew around 1991 or so and someone I would have never dated back then. He was too "nice" and clean cut and didn't work in the warehouse amongst the dust. No long hair for me to share my hairspray with and no instrument that would show me his creative musician side. He did however, start a pretty good local radio station program around here at the time that was all about raging, raw metal. I still didn't really give him any thought even though I thought he was nice.

So we got talking on the IM, and it turns out that the people we are now seem to have major things in common. Like picking out the w's from the M & M bag.

He is also a parent, a full time single parent for the most part. His daughter visits the mom a couple of days a week.

So in a moment of wanting to force uncomfortable changes upon myself, I said ok, maybe we'll meet out on Sunday if my mom will watch the Ling. I told myself I'd be more social this year. Joining more groups on Facebook or emailing people is social, yes, but not the kind of social that I meant. So a date was made.

True to my nature, I woke up fighting how to get out of going today to meet Single Dad. I have horrible OCD about public places during flu seasons and of course we were meeting out. It's not so bad if I don't have to really touch much (like at Borders we wear our gloves while perusing...and yes, I am a freak...when we leave I have her wipe down with an alcohol wipe in the car, boil her and then put her in a vacuum pack bag) but this was going out and having a beverage so that means sipping off a glass. Ewwwww.......and whether I indulge in a drink or a coffee, I can't use a straw. THIS is what would determine me not going today and its just such a lame podium to be behind. Otherwise I wasmostly ok about going...besides the usual hemming and hawing about doing my own thing today.

But I went, we had a great time, he spilled part of my drink on me and I'm glad I went. I would go again, although I'm not sure when. We have three craft shows to get ready for and this week's Scorpion Equinox show is going to be amazing! We have about seven guests from the documentary "What If" (www.whatifthemovie.com)

And being in wonderful Connecticut....we are to have a nice amount of snow tonight. I hear the mayor sent my mom the pre-recorded prime time phone call to let her know there's going to be a load of snow!!! I hope school is cancelled tomorrow! Am I the only parent?

I saw a repo man this morning. He stopped at this apartment building looking for someone specific in order to repossess their car. That could have been me as of one week ago. But I am totally up to date now. I'm glad that I did my taxes when I did in order to pay for the car. I feel bad for the guy that does that job as well as the people on the other end of it.

Capricorn and I still see each other at work constantly but as he is totally a guy who has to jump from one female's desk to another and needs a lot of female attention and reinforcement, I just end up cutting back on the time. I talk to guys, sure, on FB and things like that. I don't seek validation from them, but do enjoy speaking. Maybe this is the case with Capricorn as well. However, it'd be really weird to be committed and really *together* and having him constantly doing lunch with all these young early 20 something females while his almost 40 year old girlfriend is not joining them ever. It just doesn't flavor the palate in a friendly way. But I'm honest with him...I won't just pull back and simmer in it. I let him know in a gentle way and that its ok and that I wouldn't want to change him...it might not be for me though. That and his taste in paint. Is Tannish-grey a color? And furniture. And TV Shows......

So waiting for snow...excited that we are in March now and Spring is right around the corner...even if it does snow for the next month or so. We made it. And the $1600 heat bill was paid. Amen.

As I am a Jesus Nature Earth girl....I gave up some things for Lent. My friend at work was saying he is going to give up potato chips (he's in his later 50s) so I said YEAH! Me too me too!!! So we've got each other's backs. All chip related items are off my list....except pretzels. Because they aren't sexy like doritos or cheese doodles. Their burst of flavor doesn't really exist. They aren't too tempting but will do and taste good while doing. Then in a moment of chaotic synapses overcharge, I agreed to give up baked items like cookies and cupcakes too (even the gluten free versions). Sigh. There will be a lot of dark chocolate in my immediate future.

So I think I'd like to have a Coke and a smile, and perhaps get to read some blogs.

Beware the Yellow Filled Bottle

What a beautiful day it was today! Here in CT, that means mid thirties equals being outside!

Humanling let me know early on that we should go and pick up trash in a park and in our own Hood. So, armed with two Walmart plastic bags we stepped outside.

They were full in no time.

I had to stop the Ling from reaching for a pepsi bottle with 'yellow' liquid in it. Ah, no...we'll leave that one.

What about my OCD you ask? (Or didn't ask?) She had gloves on with rubber gloves over them. I merely had gloves. We tried to pick up things with branches as well and that pretty much worked.

The park however, was quite clean. We only picked up a few items but then again, it is winter.

I have been wracking my mind to try and find a good volunteer opportunity that would involve HL helping out as well. The ones that I've wanted to do so far involve animals and because of her age, we haven't been able to. We don't really have a lot of babysitter type opportunities (and I won't pay for one - ha ha, my electricity bill is $1600 right now and I will need to call and plead with them for another couple of weeks since I will be able to give something then....). So when HL mentioned picking up trash, she gave us a solution for now. At least now I won't have to look at the almost empty Snapple bottle that's been in front of the driveway for eons.

Facebook has been a lot of fun as usual and you just never know where things will go. I'm due to call one person tonight that I haven't spoken with in 20 years and has human nature has it, if all goes well, I will fantasize about how our lives could come together. Or...I'll find fault in one sentence and think what a wonderful person, breathe a sigh of relief that I am single and shut the idea off.

What I can't believe is that another person actually scanned and sent me the letters that I wrote to him when I was fourteen. Can I just say that I really really sort of don't like how I represented myself at that age? Or how I did to him? And then I think....is THIS how I stayed in his mind all these years....as THIS person? So much swearing, very shallow conversation....and showing off a verbally abusive relationship that I was having here at home, hoping he would come save me. Eek.

The Mystery Of gives me plenty to smile about. It's a nice place to be.

Meanwhile, Capricorn and I hang out still here and there and its nice. Its nice and I know there is nothing in common....that for whatever reason he thinks it would work and I feel it would be somewhat stifling. It would put walls up in my life where there aren't any now. Or.

Maybe it would give me an opportunity to let him into the life that I have now and want to lead going forward. He is the most linear man I know. And he recently asked me if I had a 'rock' for him. He means a crystal. Or a gemstone that can help him somehow. So I did get him a few, a red tigers eye especially for that overly active worried about money root chakra. I also got him a book on yoga since he recently mentioned wanting me to teach him. And he wants to try EFT. This is all very good. I'm glad for him that he is expanding his horizons. He gets bored so easily.

I am never bored. It scares me when someone bores easily.

Yesterday the Ling and I had a craft show. The positioning of the event did not draw people in, but I had a great day selling a few items and meeting some very very nice women. Sometimes craft show women can be a bit competitive. These ladies were terrific....and so was the woman who's store was hosting our fair. Her daughter was there and that gave my girl someone to play with. I left with business cards, a new buddy to have playdates with and a wealth of good conversation.

Since I'd promised my girl a trip to the bowling alley, we went last night and met Capricorn there. I somehow won the first game and I'm definitely not competitive and don't do the butt dance when I win. I only do the butt dance when I drink.

So this fires up the Goat who can't deal with losing...especially to me. Another two or three games ensued with him keeping careful tabs and me talking to the ugly ball. I was convinced that the ugliest ball there was why I was doing well. I figured it needed some gentle talking to and as I got ready to awkwardly roll them down the aisle, I'd look at it and say, "you can do it."

The show last week went fabulously for my friend and I. We had a great turn out and even my little mom and her husband were EFT tapping away during the program, mom walking around the living room and hubby with a cigarette drooping in his fingers. That to me would be the whole reason to do it to begin with. If you can get my Old School Meat and Potatoes Brooklyn raised mama to tap because her weird black sheep kid said so.....then it had to be because there was an authoratative English accented voice on the show telling her to.

This week's show will be more physically health oriented and we're hoping to really break some myths for folks.

I see its time to put the Ling to bed. She's playing with my hair right now and I have to pretty up for my phone date. Which means having a glass of water nearby and a pen to doodle with.

I hope whatever time or day you're reading this, its a moment you are really taking in and glad to be in it. x0x0x0

The Birth of Scorpion Equinox

To all my beautiful readers....tomorrow is it - THE day of the radio show. It'll be our very first airing so I'm really totally psyched and at the same time minorly freaked that I'll muck - m + f it up. That's my flyer up there....which I hung around town like an old school unsigned band.

Just for hoo ha's and kicks - you may find Scorpion Equinox on Facebook (and join!) I'd so love to see your smiling faces in our membership!

Tomorrow's show is on http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Scorpion-Equinox- and the dash at the end of the link is needed. Why is there a dash? Why are there missing socks? OMG - why did we think that guy was cute after five shots? We just don't know.

Our guests are Dawson Church and Nick Ortner. Do I hear owls? Who? Who? Who? Nick has put together a fabulous documentary on EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique - his info is at www.tryitoneverything.com ). This healing modality is free and is right at your fingertips. You tap your issues away. I'm OCD unfortunately and tapping will only happen for me if I've washed my hands nine times beforehand. (I don't touch my face or allow others to touch it unless its Mr. Bubble or Mr. Clean). Dawson Church completely endorses EFT and is also an expert in the emerging bioscience field of Epigenetics. Epigenetics are factors that turn your genes on and off - outside of the cell. They are not genetic expressions that are causing the flickering switch...they are environmental....but not necessarily what we have always considered to be the Environment. It's also the environment that is caused by the hormonal flood that is constantly happening during our simulated Fight or Flight reactions to things.

There are a number of fabulous speakers on the subject - Bruce Lipton and Gregg Braden are a couple of them, and Dawson Church being another.

Besides that, I have yet another Facebook story. Yeah...how many people can you possibly keep connecting with? Sometimes I see Facebook as a way to "collect" people. You might accept the friendship and never say a word to the other person. Just like in high school when you knew each other. But I'm a collector. I like knowing where they all are, seeing their photos and commenting on their day at times.

I received a most shocking (for me) friend request yesterday. It was from a guy that I'd met when I was 14 (let's say 1984) while on vacation in Atlantic City, NJ. I think we spent a few days together, made out in hotel ice machine rooms and left each other teary eyed with promises of Soul Matish type glowings. I never forgot his name but I hadn't had the memory of him in so long.

In walks a friend request from 1984, AND he still has my hand written letters and photos that I sent to him. He posted the photos up on Facebook and well, what can I say? He's legit. He definitely has them.

Mere months after I met 1984, I met Miz Eye's (my 21 year old) dad.

And this leads me to Def Leppard. It's a good thing I'm happy with the product of my coupling with Miz Eye's dad or else I'd have a bone to pick with them! I was soooo enamored with the band, mostly Joe Eliott, the lead singer. When I met Miz Eye's dad, he looked JUST like Joe Elliot circa "Bringing on the Heartbreak" (the original with Pete Wills, not the remix version). Fall in love, get a crash course in the gamut of intensity and poof! Go to senior prom five months pregnant! What....? Didn't you? No?

So I admit that I bought the Def Leppard CD the other night. And I am horrified to say that I have found myself rocking out to it in my very own blood cells. ACK!!! It's Def Leppard! I'm almost embarrassed but obviously paid for the CD with my dignity so I have none left.

So anyway, no pressure, but if you're interested, check us out tomorrow at 5:30EST and if not...the shows are archived and you may listen whenever you shut off your new Def Leppard Lullaby album.

x0x0x0x

Does DisCount?

Ever notice that you could be wearing just socks and be in a room's equivalent of the Grand Canyon and wherever there's a small wet spot, you'll step in it? Cups of water, a child, a tanker full of Barbie's strewn about and a cat. That's all I have to say.

Besides this. I'm in a math dominant type job. I enjoy very much being paid for the fact that I recognize numbers and usually what to do with them. It's not my forte but its like a really good relationship that just didn't work out. You part and fondly remember that one, with no real complaints. It just wasn't a natural and perfect fit.

Circuit City, as many of you probably know, has bought a corporate plot in the ground. A couple of weeks ago I put on my vulture wings and headed in to see what the discount was. 10%. Eh...it could be better. So we bought nothing.

Tonight we went in and it was 30%. That I could deal with for an item like a CD or cheaper video game. Not so much a camera.

In my head I tried to figure out the discount - let's see, something was approximately $10 so that might be around $3.50 or near there. Yes, that's the DISCOUNT. While paying at the register and hearing that I really spent $42 when I thought I would spend $20 I realized that MY head turned that equation earlier around so that was the PRICE. GAH!

I have Check Out pride. I can't put things back. So if necessary, do CDs taste better roasted or stir fried?

What caused such shillings to be parted? The first was what I thought was a joke. What? A 2008 NEW Def Leppard CD? I laughed out loud AND commented something like "are you kidding me? Please!" and put it down. And picked it up again. Well, I surmised for $4 it would be a steal of curiosity. No, I spent $9 on it. And the new Demi Lovato, Ting Tings and the Toadies!

I loved the Toadies back in 1994 or whenever Possum Kingdom came out. The first cd is probably about a half hour long and every song rocks. The 2nd cd....not so much. Highly unmemorable and so I'm hoping I can love this CD like the 2nd cd that I wished they put out.

And I had fun making some new creations lately as well. There might be a craft show on Valentine's Day so I am trying to get some new things made as well as get ready for our very first radio show.

Those are my fairy earrings up there. They are seated on a Barbie wedding gown....which is on a Barbie.

I spend so much time wondering what it is that is my passion and then I realized today that I am living a lot more of them than I had thought. It's a really cool feeling - gratitude in nineteen textures and even new colors. Comfortable is one that goes in there even though that sounds kind of weird.

My newer goal besides the radio show, is to do some sort of work with animals. I do have my own brood at home but I have a lot of dog envy. My small apartment and lack of wanting to be more organized than I am prohibits me from doing that at this time. And finances. Humanling and I are hardly ever separated outside of her being at school. She is not legally allowed to come along for the ride on a volunteer gig. So I'm trying to think of ways to work around that. Maybe try to walk the dogs at the local pound and go into work an hour or so later and work later instead.

I've been dreaming of dogs....a street full of dogs and the one I chose was white and had three legs. That's not the weird part. It was like a poodle. I used to claim that poodles were not even dogs. Just ugly cats. But I also used to use words like Always and Never back then too.

When people walk down our road with their dogs I usually make eye contact with and say hi to the dog while passing. As an afterthought, I see the end of the leash and acknowlege my fellow man.

I've been reading this book "The Passion Test" by Janet and Chris Atwood and its been really good. But I still believe if my number one passion is to feel connected with God at all times, the rest is cake.

I suppose its time to try and unlock the various games in the new Napoleon Dynamite game for Humanling's DS. New to us - Circuit City....the only item that actually was the price that I thought it might be.

May every one of you who read these words be blessed many times. x0x0