Get my Fancy Gloves!

Good Sunday Morning!

Humanling and I are listening to the new Depeche Mode as I have my coffee and she draws a picture. Depeche Mode is just one of those bands that no matter how good or bad the previous effort was, I have to follow and keep up with them. Korn fell off the list a long time ago unfortunately. NIN is another one, along with Linkin Park, Bjork and Tori Amos that I have to pick up the bread crumb trail for.

I think I am blogging right now to avoid cleaning the guinea pig cages. Something in my mind knows that I still have to do it but every moment I am not doing it is quite ok with me. Plus, no matter how clean I try to keep the cat boxes, one of them (Azrael mostly) deuces it and destroys square blockage of the neighborhood in the process. It doesn't help that I use "natural" cat litter....stuff made from corn with no toxins (unless of course it is probably GMO corn...I know ingesting it is not good but can you coat a turd in it without reprecussion?) Therefore it doesn't really coat scent well. We have gotten so used to not using the overperfumed and toxic cat litter though that even using a little bit to mix in with the corn litter is just too much dust and perfume for us.

I am attempting some container gardening this year. I try to walk my talk and so I'm really trying. The Farmer's Almanac online is my virtual leader. If they say plant beets today, I plant beets. If they say throw a dime onto the yellow line in the road to yield a better green bean, then they must be right. Right?

So far we've only just planted beets and carrots. I started training our squirrels to eat off the deck a few months ago. I used to feed them on the deck and they would always be there. We are on the 2nd floor so I've been throwing their food far from where ours will be and hopefully they will keep their affairs to the ground level.

On Friday at work I can't believe I did something so silly. When you were a kid, did you ever cry during a meal that had something like corn in it? Then during the hyperventilating part, inhale the item whole and start choking? Just trying to set this up here. I heated up my food at work in the toaster oven like I always do, and it's usually quite hot, hence - heating up the food. I put a spoonful of white beans in my mouth and they were so hot that I opened my mouth to suck in some air to cool them off and of course, inhaled a bean. I managed to chew and swallow the rest before busting out, red-faced and trying to be mute about it. However, no one is allowed to cough, sneeze or wince in my workplace without inquiry from the pod people around you. Through my tears and coughs I held up my drink "I'm alright!" to drive further looks and questioning away. During this whole thing, Capricorn had been emailing me back and forth about some enviro debate we were having. Me questioning him about his possible choice of buying a third vehicle when he already has a truck, a car or two and a motorcycle. He sits close enough to me to usually let me know he can hear me laughing, etc. and then I get an email from him during all the coughing and its sticking to the topic as if nothing is going on. Not that I wanted him to ask but its just too obvious. Like if he was on fire and I went over and asked him if he can help me fix the copier. I thought it was rather funny, like perhaps he might win the debate if I were getting the Heimlich and couldn't email back right away.

And yet still, my distraction during the episode continues. I was also laughing in the middle of choking as I thought of a story that El told me once. He was on the subway and was I believe, facing someone's side with the way the seats are on some trains. He choked on his coffee and sprayed it all over the person and coughed throughout at least 15 minutes of the ride. He says the person got up and moved. I'd be so grossed out to be spattered on by a stranger in NYC.

So the thought made me just laugh and cough and laugh and cough. It makes me think to myself that I hope when I leave this planet, my last thought is funny.

Capricorn does not know I am getting married yet as whenever in the past I have given him news of a marriage or new boyfriend, his opinion is always the same - it won't work out unless it is with him. I'm not eager to hear a rehash of his opinion this time so who knows when I will drop the M bomb on him.

Speaking of my cool M bomb, I have heard from my fiance's brother on Facebook which is SO cool. My new family lives in another hemisphere so I'm sure it might be like discovering a new species for both sides. I am planning to write to his mother this weekend (maybe it will even keep me from doing the crap boxes even longer) but probably will try to use a translation site since they speak Portugese.

On Show related news - Stacy from www.SafeCosmetics.org was quite an excellent guest and left us with a very useful tool to check out what's in your name brand products and how toxic they might really be. This week's guest is going to be Sherrie Brooks Vinton, author of "Real Food Revivial" which is a kick ass book. I always think I know a little something and there is always so much more to learn! She is going to address all sorts of angles regarding the food we eat, including GMOs, labelling, factory farming, etc. She is quite the wealth of knowledge and if I didn't want to know anything about it so that I could continue to eat and supply the machine with my money and my body, I wouldn't be able to read this book. So join us on Wednesday, May 20th at 5:30pm. If you can't make it, that's fine. We're archived, baby!!! You can always find us and our shows at www.blogtalkradio.com/scorpion-equinox-. They're good to listen to during work or to download for your walk, your work out time, etc. And we have a good beat!

Well I am certain that the noxious fumes have amped since I've been writing so it is time to dutifully attend to my furry children.

x0x0x0x

Ben Franklin Croissant?

Hooray for work from home Thursday! I'm here with my buddies, Regis & Kelly. I've actually thought about asking Regis to help me find a good restaurant in NYC to accomodate our apres wedding detail. Normally this might be an easy task. However, we have my ultra prized Humanling with us and any tipping of the scales regarding sleep, excitement, diet or sun can predispose her to a wedding day or day after seizure. She will need to be handled with the utmost care and I am entrusting one or two of my closest buds to shuttle her to and fro over the state lines. One of those buddies is Organic, who is thankfully lending me her services and steely enough to take on the challenges of feeding my darling. Not to mention the potential challenge of being present when Humanling awakens as this is her number one seizure time. So I thank Organic for being that person who is going to be there (and ha ha...hope I didn't just scare the heck out of her.....its a POSSIBILITY not a probability....maybe that will make it seem easier...). My other wonderful and close friend would have to fly in from CA if she is to attend. She is half of Scorpion Equinox with me. She has a wonderful and gorgeous pup who is definitely her "child". It's seeming almost impossible to make it out here with my niece, Hennessy (that's her dog's name) so we might have to do a possible Skype or cell phone presence during the wedding. The same may have to do for my older child, Miz Eye. She is in Arizona and more than likely isn't playing the Lotto fast and furious enough to land those plane tickets.
Back to the Humanling's diet....we are both gluten free and mainly dairy free. By 'mainly' I mean that we are able to have butter (and are encouraged to have lots of it) and we have also been told that people with sensitivities to dairy can indeed have heavy cream. That something about the heavy cream is not processed the same as milk foods. Or rather, isn't processed at all if you look at some of the labels. Or perhaps I was told that really it is what is in the heavy cream as opposed to not in the milks. Regardless, we are encouraged to have plenty of that as well. I must admit, since adding a lot more fats to Humanling's diet, I think - *think* she seems to be doing pretty well with it. However, eating out is another story. I make every single one of her meals. Eating out is a huge pain in the cheeks. She also cannot have corn or corn products, soy and soy products or anything with tomatoes. I really need to just open my own restaurant and call it "Humanling Can Have This".

When we were in NYC recently, we had a wonderful lunch at a macrobiotic restaurant. I love the places that will give you a Bean of the Day! This is a huge staple here in our house.
So the dilemma is sort of this - having everyone eat according to my daughter's needs. Is this fair? Can people enjoy one meal without meat or that it isn't standard fare? Do I expect everyone to understand or do I give in and pack her a peanut butter and jelly and hope for the best? I don't like that idea. My own opinion might be too opinionated and I don't want to offend anyone at all, including the lucky man who inherits all of this on July 24th. My own opinion is personally, can people just deal for one meal. We're paying for it anyway. If they are still hungry afterwards there are plenty of other places to go. It's NYC after all! Perhaps I can strike up a bargain that I will give up first dibs on anything else if I can just take the restaurant choice.On another note.....am I the only person to have a micro freak about people who handle cash, handling your food? With their bare hands? I ordered a croissant this morning (yes, I did say we are gluten free, yes I am a hypocrite but I'm a hypocrite away from Humanling's eyes at the moment!) I like to have a croissant here and there...they aren't my main staple and I don't even have them once a week but when I work from home I do like one here and there. So I went to my favorite place where they give good croissant and ordered one to go just toasted. I figured that I would put my own butter on at home since its organic. Then the girl at the register picked one up with her bare hands, cut it in half for me and toasted it herself. Thanks but no thanks. She's handling all kinds of money and its not like I'd go and tell her boss....he was standing right there. Yeah, I know its really not a big deal to most people. But for my money, I came home ripped it up for the squirrels and made something else to eat. What a bizarre situation for me to have to point it out so I just dealt. I hate that I'm not loud enough to speak out on that at the time and spent the money on it anyway when I'm trying to save money, nevermind throw it outside for the squirrels to nibble on.

So I have croissant on the craving mind now. I thought about hitting up a Dunkin Donuts down the road....I love the thought. And having a nice coffee with it. The reality is that yes, while DD employees grab your baked goods with a wax paper, its still probably chock full of GMOs, gluten and the coffee comes in a styrofoam cup. But a nice thought, nontheless. And one I will continue to think about for a few hours.

Regarding American Idol, I don't think it is cut and dry for Adam. I'd like Adam to win however, I never saw Kris as a contender. Have all the women given up on Adam because Kris is hetero? Kris is unavailable too as the married Idol boy. Yeah, Adam's a screamer but he is not forgettable. Kris is just as cute as my widdle kitty cat Princess only he sings in human. He's not bad to listen to at all, he can sing. But I think in this competition he is a good looking quiet guy who can sing as opposed to perform. And it is a contest. If he were just himself, such as a John Mayer, its a different story. Either way, I don't vote so can't wait to see who will be chosen for the crown and will be the leading member of the Brady Bunch tour they are doing this summer.

Gratitude

I'm cozy at my job at the moment just enjoying how wonderful it really is. We aren't hovered over, the coffee is free and we have email. (If I were working at a grocery store I definitely would not be writing this at the moment)!

The air smells wonderful. Humanling bounced out of bed this morning without prompting simply to get dressed and attempted to make her own breakfast. I was a tad helicopter though, trying to show her how exactly to slice the butter for her tapioca toast.

My drive in was filled with wonderful thoughts on the things I am learning about myself through small frustrations and even more, I thought about the wonderful person who has chosen to be with me. Humanling has no choice, wah ha ha ha!!!!!! But El has a choice. I hope the amazing things we see in each other can only explode into a higher consciousness that simply moves us up a rung as individuals and as a unit.

We also have a wonderful show today with Stacy from Safe Cosmetics.org. If you are interested in what is in your daily routine and what to look for in order to make informed choices and set a new bar for supply and demand in our products that will better our own health and that of our earth as a result, tune in today, May 13th at 5:30 EST. www.blogtalkradio.com/scorpion-equinox-

Have an awesome day!!

That Father Complex again

Happy Belated Mother's Day Mama's to anything - human, animal, ideas!

El, Humanling and I went to my mom's in the morning and brought Everything bagels & coffee. My dad called while we were there and I waved goodbye to my fiance since basically I need to take vacation days off work if I get on the phone with my dad. Our conversations are few and far between. I spoke to him for like 45 minutes. My dad sounds incredibly unhappy and I feel like he always has been but his desolation appears to become more obvious as he gets older. His wife is having a BBQ on July 25th - same day as the wedding. So I gently said well, can you miss the BBQ and that there will always be those types of gatherings but I'm only doing this this one time. It kind of put him in a hard situation since his wife has already been buying food - yes, for July 25th - and has people coming in from out of town, etc. Her birthday is July 26th. I believe she will be 50. So I see that it is a big deal and then I told him that I didn't want him to have to hear about it or have trouble at home so don't worry about it if he can't do it. He was trying to tell me that he needed to be at this BBQ so I finally just gave in and said that's fine. Although in my head of course I was thinking, no, its not really ok with me right now but I'll get used to it and I guess I really wanted him to step up to something and show me that maybe I might mean an effort of some sort for him. But I get his situation. Part of me thinks that he's just getting older and now his wife is probably stronger than him in many ways now since she is only 50 and he's 65 and he's just diverting to her. Then he said maybe he'll just get in his truck, run up his credit cards as much as he can and just keep driving and never come back. I wasn't really too sure about how to respond to that and fought off the urge to yell, "Look! A Monkey!" and throw the phone back at my mom.

So we left my mom's and I suppose my spirit was crushed for a while but I wanted to have a lovely day ....it just took awhile for me to get back into the swing of it. I'm very fortunate to have an understanding mate. But, my mom surprises me sometimes with some good ideas and so she had suggested earlier, why don't we change the date by one day. That would make it a Friday (and funny enough, the previous two weddings were on a Friday). She said that she wouldn't have to take the day off work and then I thought about it and thought hm, then Humanling would have an extra day to recoup before going to camp on Monday, maybe the park and the restaurant might not be as crowded as a Saturday. Just maybe the flow would be good. And what's weird is, the moon is in Virgo at that time...El, Humanling and I all have Virgo moons. Eek! A house full of Virgo moons!!! There will be a lot of Just In Case items under one roof!

So now I have emailed my dad's wife to let her know that I changed the date and even if she can't make it because she has to prepare for her BBQ the day after, I'd really like for him to come down with the rest of us for this. I noticed that he was present at her son's wedding just a couple of months ago and to get my George Carlinesque father into a tux is like shaving an armadillo but if it can be done, he looks Smooth. Unless he simply doesn't want to go, I'd like to see him there. If he doesn't go I'm going to have to do a bit of work in order to not be severely let down.

I noticed on Sunday while deciding to allow myself to feel the Weird and stew in a mope in El's arms, that my mind was reverting instinctively to where it has always gone with my father. Back to feeling let down and on guard (as opposed to En guard! with a fencing tool!). I suddenly felt crystal clear that I was catching my old pattern right in the act. My innate belief that men cannot be trusted to make me happy, that they will let me down and disappoint me and that I am not good enough to receive some effort on their behalf. I can't say that any of this is really true as far as my life has gone, but it was included when I was assembled. But my father and I still at this age have merely learned to accept how things are without making it work on a satisfying level for both of us. I feel he is defensive in many ways and gives up at the sight of a rain drop because he figures its not worth it. I feel that I have given past my comfort level here and there and have gotten knocked down for it and ridiculed in front of other family members. So I keep my distance and I am safe.

In contemplation at the park, while Humanling sailed high on a swing, and El had his arms around me, I realized that I really have these issues that stem from being ridiculed and let down by someone that I had always wanted the praise from. I also realized that I can't keep re-creating the scenes in the same way because El is nothing like that and if I were to write down everything I wanted in a person, he is it.

My dad is my dad though. I've learned so much from him being who he is and in inheriting some of his challenging qualities, have learned more about how to express them for the higher good.

And...he left me a message tonight. I believe he said the new wedding date works for him. This is beyond wonderful - and bizarre. As it may be hard to picture an apple bearing cactus with sprinkles showing up in the backyard, it is an odd thought to think of my dad being a dense mass of energy in NYC. It's like worlds colliding.

On another note - I made whipped cream tonight! The amazing simple tricks we can learn. I can't wait to do it again tomorrow in order to get the Humanling to eat the strawberries.

Playing Craps

So yeah that whole gotta eat better thing....I'll start later today. Or tomorrow. And put that on a loop. I've got to keep the end result in mind...a nice clean ultrasound with no evidence of said fibroid. The tech and I will be all "Say whaaa? There's nothing here!" I'll keep telling myself that as I PMS my way through my sensitivities, face flushing with the croissant I'm having for breakfast today. I couldn't be anymore beautiful unless I were part of a tribal nation where the warpaint is on for battle.

Humanling and I went to Borders and I was very good and didn't buy any junk to eat, mostly because she was sitting there and would call me out on it. I did get a coffee though, which had a shot of hazelnut in it. And by "shot" I mean most likely one fourth of it because it tasted severely off and did not satisfy the afternoon coffee craving. It's currently abandoned, in the cup holder in the car, waiting to be dumped out on the road (I'm parked on the road) so that someone's tire can track it down a few feet, Hazel style.

As I sat there with my coffee at Borders, I suddenly realized - Hey! What happened to the inspiration of the girl with the teapot the other day? She was nowhere in sight so instead I became comfortable with my skin having a revolt over more bad stuff.

Until I had a chance to shower, I felt like there was a dirty zoo all over me. Between yesterday and today its been nothing but cleaning piggie cages, litter boxes and the poor hermit crabs - they are done every so often - months and months go between. I finally gave them some nice purple sand today. They really perk up when the tank is done. We also gave both guinea's a bath in a used baby bathtub that we purchased today. One of them was so so about it and the other one caused a universal no no and pooped in the tub. Twice. The acoustics in the bathroom do not comfortably accompany a loud and long "Ewwwwwwwwww" by the duo of Humanling and I.

That's Azrael up there with Kyyo. Despite the ominous and maximum evil staredown in this photo, Az is really the best cat I've ever known. She hasn't promised not to eat my little boys but she doesn't mind posing with them.

El is taking the train in tonight so that we can celebrate Mama's Day tomorrow. Wow, this should be really nice. Last year after visiting me own mere, I was alone for the day with Humanling and we went to the park. It feels nice to do this with someone else now.

The weather is gorgeously gray and humid. I'm not huge on high humidity but my hair really soaks it in after a washing. I like this since usually it walks around pretending to be a starving mane, thin, limp and more straight. Straight outta the shower in this weather, its all precursor to Slash. Humanling's dad has the wavy hair too so I have to wonder when her hair is going to abandon the straight and narrow.

Time to enjoy hanging with the Ling. Happy Mother's Day to all of you!

The Nose's Best Friend

It's a gorgeous day to work from home. Actually, the only definition really of a not good day to work from home is if its zero degrees outside and the heater is busted. It's rainy here and I've got Regis & Kelly on.

One or more of the cats has completed an angry deposit into the litter box, most likely on purpose. Whenever it happens while I'm home I have no choice but to assume that the powerful death scent of the Killer Krap is meant to destroy everyone in the home.

Today is Regis's big day! Lil Kim getting booted off Dancing With the Stars meant Regis finally getting his glory moment of having her on the show to dance. And boy did she. If anything is going to give me inspiration for a little excercising before finding that exquisite dress that will turn me into a summer goddess for my wedding, it was her one minute stint. Regis finally got to dance with her as well. I don't think he could get any higher if the earth itself grew a fist and tossed him into the ionosphere.

I started this rainy morning by seeing Humanling off on the school bus and then walking, all makeupless and apparently having dropped any pride or ego in the hallway with my beautiful attire that can probably be found under keywords: crazy cat lady.

So after walking in the drizzle and taking a few sips off my hot coffee, ducking under weeping tree branches, heavy with saturated, wet flowers - all while protecting the coffee! - I knocked over the coffee nearly as soon as I sat down to work. I can't say that I'm thoroughly impressed with myself on that one. Especially since Humanling dumped over her chocolate almond milk/heavy cream drink this morning and I gave her a small helping of Grrrrr over it. So I say to the Universe - What?! Am I not allowed to miff on a spill? If I do, then my coffee cup goes side heavy and instantly gives my rug a that everlasting coffee scent?

Warning, my vegetarianism is tapping me on the shoulder for its turn here at the board. I'm hearing about this cow that escaped from a slaughterhouse in Queens yesterday. Apparently they have named it and are finding a home for it. I have heard it termed "Molly earned her freedom" by busting out. Why is that? It's sad that a cow has to be born already 'owned' and would have to do something as unlikely as busting out of a dank slaughterhouse in order for people to suddenly think it's a cute and honorable animal when moments before, if Molly had gotten hung and slit, no one would care. I get the mentality but its undeniably hypocritical. Just saying.

As far as my own personal health journey right now, well ok, so I've been way off the mark this week especially. Sugar is one ring horned devil that I really need to burn at the stake. I'd love to not hate on people who CRAVE fruit and say that oh, they don't really like cake or cookies. Whatever. Let me see the back of your pantry.

I am trying to drink more tea instead of coffee. Ok, not really trying but I did today. And ok it was because my carpet slurped it up.

In doing the laundry today, I pulled the clothes out when they were done and realized that the jacket that had gotten bird ass bombed was in there. I had to throw them all back in for one more wash. I'm sorry people but these weren't ordinary birds. This bird was a Moss Avenue bird. I grew up in that area. It's pretty slummy. Who knows where those birds have been.

As far as American Idol goes last night, I've never seen a female leave more gracefully and with power than Allison. Maybe that can be disagreed with but I think for her age and experience, she was pretty durn amazing. I don't recall it ever being down to three guys though. Perhaps they'll form a Barbershop Trio and call it a draw.

I am looking foward to the weekend, time with my little Humanling and then time with El. Something about it feels relaxing. We may not ever be sitting with all the chores and cooking but we're doing it together. I can cook all day if we're standing there together. If we were a 1600s couple we'd starve to death eventually because he wouldn't be able to hunt since I wouldn't feel like making anything unless he was standing there with me.

Time to enjoy being home and enjoy the smell and sound of the rain.

Scorpion Equinox Guest Information

Tonight's guest on Scorpion Equinox was Azim Khamisa. Whew. If you need an inspiration revival, look no further. Check out Azim's interview on the Blogtalk button in the right side of the column and see his website at http://www.azimkhamisa.com/. Azim also has co-authored a new book out called "The Secrets of the Bulletproof Spirit: How to Bounce Back from Life’s Hardest Hits".



In other Scorpion Equinox related news, we were honored also to have Dawson Church on our show in February with Nick Ortner regarding EFT. Besides Dawson's hearty laugh and fabulous accent, he also has a book out called "Genie in Your Genes." If you enjoy epigentics or mind and body information, you really have to check him out. See http://www.geniebestseller.com/. For a very limited time, you can also win an e-book Kindle by ordering "Genie in Your Genes".

I love this gig.

And it starts....

I am so glad that I'm getting married this summer. Looks like I will need El to get ready to flex his Extra Dad muscles soon enough. Cavey can flex dad muscles but it's like that tree in a forest contemplation....would we know if we never see him?

Humanling is starting the pre pre pre serious crush. The kind where I've heard the boy's name every day for a few days. The kind where everytime she mentions him he is "funny" or "kind" to her. AND THE KIND WHERE THEY LOST RECESS TOGETHER! Apparently he high fived her and they both had recess revoked.

Well today, Troy and Gabriella apparently sat in an auditorium together watching the grade five band and held hands. I tried to ask everything the "right" (read: non abrasive) way so that I can continue to stay in the loop.

Humanling started the hand cuddle. And Little Boy did not let go. Unless he was afraid she'd hit him.

And so since my hair is free of gray, apparently there has been a summoning.

On another note, I have American Idol on and do I need to even express the Wow that goes with show opener, Adam Lambert?

Although the judges seemed sort of lukewarm on the duet between Kris and Danny, I thought it was pretty good. And this is why I will not see my invitation in the mail anytime soon to come warm the seat next to Simon.

On to feed the boys now. I'm hearing a distinct Wheeting in the air going on in the other room. I'm sure they are ready for their bedtime meal.

Ditch Day

I love ditching. At my place of employement, we are extremely lucky to give a heads up that we want a day off without having to explain ourselves. We're given a ration of days to use for the whole year to cover the gamut of reasons.

I took today off because I received one of those disgusting grid-like listings in the mail that tells me I need to show up for court. Old life and good intentions vs The Bank for a foreclosure-like episode. I currently live in an apartment that I love. When I was married to Number Two, he couldn't stand how small my former apartment was and we needed room for all his music equipment so that we could try to make him happy. Wah. It took six months to buy this particular home, and when we did, he walked out of it 2 months after the first mortgage payment was made. How fast can you spell F**cked?

The divorce itself has been over since last September but his lawyer said that in the divorce language I needed to agree to go bankrupt if the house foreclosed. A rock and a hard place. Both embroidered with broken glass and barbed wire fences.

As of last Friday I was told to go this morning to court to let "them" know that there is a short sale that is pending. As far as I know, Number Two gets information and tells me nothing. I find out something small and then have to make a string of phone calls. But anyhoo, enough about him, this blog is not a forum to add his energy to.

So after wanting to blow the whole thing off and not show, I decided I should definitely go. I dressed Court Like (my Jester hat was a silly/sultry hybrid). The parking was all filled up and I had to park 2 streets away and walk. This is where my books come in handy. Since I can read and walk at the same time, I did. Something told me that I wanted to walk on the other side of the street, where I lived as a child and see what the neighborhood felt like but I didn't. The rational side took over and assessed all nerd-like that the courthouse would be easier to cross over to if I stayed on the current side.

As I was reading, it was like a be-be hit my lapel and bounced off, smacking the page of the book that I was on. It took my mind to register....did someone throw something at me? Did dirt somehow get splashed on me? What the hell.....? My worst fear....seriously - bird crap. AHHHH! I stopped in my tracks because when it comes to bird crap, I'm not versed in it. My mind had to compute what this meant. I started to walk back to my car when I realized that I had napkins in my purse. So I cleaned off the lapel as best as I could and looking at the book page, wasn't sure what to do. So I dragged it across the wet grass. The page is stained and was now sopping wet. I turned around and walked back toward the court house. Cleared security and went straight to the bathroom to scrub. I found out that I was also in the wrong court room (the paper was wrong - I didn't dyslex over the droppings) and found that and settled in. Until a guy asked me what my case was, and then proceeded to tell me that it was not going forward. Gah! Would it kill someone to contact me with this? So I am glad that I'm not sitting in a court room all day and have some free time.

I went to Borders for a bit to read my own books and get questions ready for this week's guest. I saw a beautiful girl there with a glass pot of brewed tea and a steaming cup beside her as she worked. Her skin was flawless. Or compared to mine it was. I have all this uneven tone and just by eating I can turn even better colors. Caffeine, gluten, dairy.....all bring my face to a nice funky pinkish/red on my cheeks. Beauty sells I tell you. When I left there I found myself in the mood for a nice cup of tea that wasn't caffeinated. So I stopped into the local healthfood store and found orange tea. It looks and sounds a lot more exotic than that but I've simplified it a bit here.

I just saw an email from my library telling me that the crapped on book is due. I'll be more than happy to bring it back after it dries.

I had a fabulous weekend with El...we celebrated the 13th anniversary of our first date. We went out all dately dressed for falafel & hummus. Then we trekked over to an outdoor seating arrangement where we could take in the night time and a martini. From there we drove to a park but my first selection was so advanced dark that I was too spooked. My second choice was a good one and I laid down a cloth for us to sit, lit a candle and pulled out a radio with a pre-made CD of songs to slow dance to. Not stupid songs. Not even modern songs actually....most of them were all old jazz standards. I handed him red & white ribbon to tie as high as he could to the tree and we turned it into a Maypole. Then we sat down for these awesome gluten free cupcakes from Babycakes in NYC. A very nice night indeed.

The frog you see up there comes from this story. At the party store where I picked up the ribbon, I saw this tiny little frog toy. I pulled it out when El, Humanling and I went hiking on Sunday. I busied him with a camera and then quickly put the frog on the ground and then exclaimed quietly for him to look at my find. This photo is the one he took of the frog that he thought existed. I warned him to be shhhhhh and don't scare it. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Poor El. Then I smacked my hand down on it forcefully and told him it was a fake. I now need an angel over my shoulder....he's got a lifetime to get me back. Who knows when....or where!!!

Happy Belated Beltane!

Hello everyone - everytime I'm away from the Bloggersphere I miss you guys terribly. And yet at night, I've mostly been able to get away from the computer by 9:30-10pm. I try to minimize exposure since I work on one all day long. That and sometimes I just feel dull AND scattered. So that's no fun for anyone around me - scattering dullness hither and thither!

I am pre-caffeine at the moment but am ok with that. There is Irish jig music playing in the kitchen to keep the running dishwasher and boiling eggs company. The Electric Company show is playing in here. I'm too lazy to shut one of them off. Or maybe I'd rather write while the moment is lending itself in this way.

The radio show is going wonderfully for us and it does take extra time to work on - probably another reason (ha ha...a BIG reason) why I haven't blogged in so long! Upcoming on our show is a man who's son was murdered in an act of gang violence (his son was not in a gang, he was a pizza delivery boy). Azim Khamisa reached out to his son's 14 year old killer and realized there were victims on both sides of the gun. This man is amazing. He has built a foundation in his son's honor and did what many people think they cannot do. He took his son's death and turned it around to an act of forgiveness so huge - many of us probably have no idea what that feels like. Anyway, if you're interested, he will be on with us this week.

We are excited, it seems we have Martha Stewart's holistic vet, Dr. Shawn coming onto our show (Alan hurry and get a cat!), along with Sherrie Brooks Vinton who wrote Real Food Revival. We'll be having a show on apartment gardening and have tentatively scheduled someone on to discuss the disappearance of the bees. We're not totally sure if she can make it yet as the time difference is huge (she is in England). And of course, I have to mention again, I love Bruce Lipton, he will be on in October.

At the start of this post, the Humanling walked over to me and mentioned that she found a new loose tooth. Before I got to the last paragraph, I was poked on the shoulder so that I could see the bloody tooth, now in her hand. She's so funny. Just couldn't leave it in there. Well I guess this shows me a spot of her determination. And I can be rest assured that her fingers will not be in her mouth out in public, wriggling germs all over it.

Kyyo and Yuki have their two different cages and are beautiful little boys. Very different personalities as Yuki is rambunctious and fearless (except when Kyyo is put with him).

Azrael and Princess are chasing each other through the house from time to time now and I do catch them sleeping on my bed close to each other but not cuddling. Azrael had a pissfest last week when Humanling took out the bubbles and started blowing them. Princess just looked so absolutely adorable swatting them with her little Persian paw. We never see this side of her. Azrael eventually had it up to *here* with the cuteness and pounced on her.

Humanling's dad is in a spot of trouble for sure. He has been charged with assault in the first degree. He gave me the story and it sounds as though it was self-defense for a friend but I am told by someone else that he has very little chance of getting out of this. Apparently, outside of a bar some Iraq vets and Cavey's friend (we'll call him Scott Fargus), Scott were in an ugly verbiage. Cavey basically said to Scott, Come on, let's just go home. But then the Vets called them "old" and really, Scott can't back down ever. Never does. Problems ensued, Scott was held down and repeatedly tasered in the Hoo Hahs and Cavey had no choice but to do whatever it was that he had to in order to stop it. The next step was advanced violence on Cavey's part to get the guys off Scott and apparently Cavey is the only one who was arrested. He came to my house, drink in hand. When I say drink. I mean like an open glass that you would walk around your house with or what your friend's mom gave you when you visited. A drinking glass. It had an orange soda and alcohol in it. I don't know who drove him or allowed it in the car, but he got here and sobbed when he got to the part of what he had done. It's possible that he will be gone for quite some time but we'll have to see because somehow that guy is greased and slips out of many things.

And now, for a nice bit of happening. Today is May 2nd, that day 13 years ago that I fell completely for a guy and we'd never been able to fully make it work, no matter how good it felt. Much of it I believe is my own issue but at the same time, I don't believe where we are now is possible without any of it. But with time and determination and genuine feelings, we've decided its time to make it all worthwhile. I'm a-changing his name on here too. It used to be :doot: but now it's gonna be El. El as in L as in Lobster. We're getting married this summer in NYC! We're looking at July 25th right now as the date. His mom will be here from Brazil and I think she's never been here before. He also hasn't seen his family in over a decade so we coincided the wedding with the visit.

So now we are getting things together for this July and it isn't a whole lot of time, but its time enough. A good Virgo & Scorpio team we are and this is our first working project!

My mom would love us to do it in CT but she just is paranoid of getting lost in Manhattan. The woman grew up in Brooklyn. But I can understand her fear. We're pretty sure everyone will get there juuuuust fine.

So Alan, I might be in the neighborhood more than I was. We were down there, Humanling and I a couple of weeks ago. Humanling had a seizure though (probably out of too much sun exposure and excitement and lack of sleep) the morning of going down (but she is fine when its over and her day is to continue as usual unless she's really tired) and then on the train ride back when I went to wake her to get off the train. Humanling's seizures are always upon waking when they occur. I've been lucky to be a part of some good yahoo groups and am learning from another person or two's experience. For this train trip I had some very very nice young guys carry Humanling off during the tail end of the seizure because that was our stop and I had our bags too.

Epilepsy is a tricky thing. Very delicate to handle sometimes. And when things are going well for months with no seizures, I slip into a comfort zone and that's when it will happen again. She always needs enough sleep, not too much sun or excitement and high protein/fat, lower carbs it seems. It's all trial and error. But I'm grateful that it is what it is. I've heard horror stories from other parents and I will take our hand, thank you.

It does indeed feel like coffee time now. I must get the homestead cleaned up for the date with my Virgoian fiance later to celebrate a whole new world that opened up 13 years ago.

A big hug for everyone and I hope you all have a beautiful and inspiring weekend!

x0x0