Tiger Trigger Lillies

I have major issues with kicking up dust or dragging invisible airborne particles through the kitchen when I am cooking. Things that cannot be done while I am cooking are:

The litter box being cleaned and then the resulting After Bag being put into the garbage (which is in the kitchen) no matter how tightly its closed

The guniea pig cage can not be cleaned (its done on the kitchen floor)

The vacuum absolutely cannot be turned on (I know stuff is flying out that I can't see and then settling on things)

Any First or Second Stage Rehab perfomances, where moldy food is in a dish and has sat out on the counter in good faith of heading to the garbage yet hasn't made it there yet, is not allowed to travel while food is unprotected or even visible out of the fridge.

The other day I took three hard boiled eggs in a small pyrex container out of the fridge. They'd been there for a few days and I figured the grim reaper of the bin was scheduled to make the rounds. I left them in the pyrex, covered with foil. Unfortunately, I left them like that for a couple of days and forgot about what was in the bowl. Ah foil....Promotes denial.

Friday night I decided to boil four eggs to take with us to the craft fair. After peeling them and leaving them on the stove, in another same sized pyrex container, I decided to go against one of my own rules and open the foil on the bowl near the sink. What's in there anyway?

The eggs. The eggs that look just like the eggs cooling on the stove now. I threw them out fast, walking far away from the stove in an outer curve to avoid mixing the air molecules from one to another.

But then the doubt creeped in. How could I know that I threw the right ones out? Maybe I didn't. Just maybe I threw the fresh ones out instead. I went back to the stove and felt each egg with my lips - yep, they were all hot. I went to the garbage and felt each egg with my fingers - cold. You think this would be enough. A gryffin flying through the room with a banner wouldn't be enough. It was a done deal. I put the "hot" eggs in the fridge Friday night. They're still there.



An ex of mine who I am friends with sent me flowers for my birthday a week or so ago. They're pretty nice, lillies or Tiger Lillies or something. They have a distinct, but not necessarily soothing smell.



I manage to choose all the Suicidal Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar bottles. I opened the fridge door and the third Apple Cider Vinegar bottle jumped off the shelf, plastic cap hitting the floor, breaking, and the sound that I've come to accept like discovering lice in the hair and knowing there is a task ahead....glug glug glug glug.....



I speak to it while its happening. "There you go. All over the floor. Yep, keep going, smells great." And it would smell great if my kitchen floor were a salad.



So now we have the dying Tiger Lillies fragrancing the air and mating with now the Alpha Smell in the room, ACV. Their offspring is like the hot couple having an ugly kid. Nasty. Humanling can smell it from the furthest point in the house before she's even savvy to what happened.



That's not the point of the blog though.



Said flowers are going past geriatric and losing their teeth and hair and dropping what I assume is pollen all over the only appliance in the house that the cat can't scale. The flowers are not from :doot: by the way. I think he would have sent something but 1-800-CANONS was not blasting on a timely schedule.



I decided that I would clean my kitchen today...I mean REALLY clean. So after making the Humanling some food and making some veggies for later, I left the veggies on the stove to cool. I went over to the appliance, wet paper towel in hand and decided it was time to clean the curry like mess that the flowers left. After doing this, I realized that I HAVE EXPOSED FOOD IN THE ROOM!!!!! I never covered the veggies! Of course they aren't really close to what I was doing, and a visual inspection laughs in my paranoid face showing me that if there are indeed particles, I can't see them.



People have weird fears. This is life with me. If you can read all my posts and still think I'm cute, then we need to hook up. I had to look back and forth and estimate really, what direction any pollen could have gone in if it became airborne. Then try and remember the velocity at which I wiped it off. Was it fast? If it was fast, it could have flown. The paper towels were wet though. They should have been at least the top of the line of mall security on this scene.

I did what I normally do after most of these episodes. I wrapped the food up anyway and put it in the fridge to contemplate it a bit longer. About 20 minutes later I'd convinced myself that it's fine, nothing went at a ninety degree angle and targeted my collard greens.

Two hours later I start doubting my deducing skills. Maybe I did wipe it fast. Maybe it was airborne. Should I look up Tiger Lillies?

Tomorrow I will do what I have actually become better at over the last year - eating it anyway.

Its a good thing I don't hunt. I'd be looking at my animal saying, huh. Is this the animal that I just proved my archery with? That's my arrow - it has my name on it. Someone probably took it out of my arrow pouch and stuck it there 2 days ago and left the animal out in the sun to bloat.

Let's hope I check the OCD well enough in front of the Ling so I don't pass it down. Thankfully she is past the age when I first started!

I'm going to bag up the freshly made popcorn in the kitchen. I know I made it tonight. I think.