Tonight I was busy writing (for a moment really) for my other blog, Even Though Epilepsy Sucks...so I thought I would do something simple here to at least stick my head out of the Quiet sand. I have not relapsed at this point. I maybe would have. But then I look at all the emails that have been sent to me in the last 6 days. Most of them unfriendly. I notice that Flips toggles between narcissist traits and those of Paranoid Personality Disorder. Unfortunately, any attempt to tell someone that you think they are either of these things is going to get ugly. They won't believe you anyway. (The font in red are my thoughts after his quote).
Symptoms of Paranoid Personality Disorder
A pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others such that their motives are interpreted as malevolent, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:
- Suspects, without sufficient basis, that others are exploiting, harming, or deceiving him or her
- Is preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the loyalty or trustworthiness of friends or associates
- Is reluctant to confide in others because of unwarranted fear that the information will be used maliciously against him or her
- Reads hidden demeaning or threatening meanings into benign remarks or events
- Persistently bears grudges, i.e., is unforgiving of insults, injuries, or slights
- Perceives attacks on his or her character or reputation that are not apparent to others and is quick to react angrily or to counterattack
- Has recurrent suspicions, without justification, regarding fidelity of spouse or sexual partner
What I have next are basically one liners from a compilation of emails that I've received from Flip over the last 6 days. It doesn't cover everything but it's a pretty good synopsis of what I've been hearing for years now whenever there is a disagreement. It took me a long time to consider any of this 'abuse'.
You are a very cruel and vindictive person. I will not forget the pleasure that you are taking in the way you're breaking up with me and kicking me out of your life FOREVER.
You created a fight so that you could break up with me. You did it intentionally.
The pleasure you take in hurting me is truly sick
You are by far the most vindictive and hurtful girl I've ever known
Fucking phony
YOU started the yelling AND the fighting AND the disrespect. ALL YOU!!!!!
You did this on purpose.
But YOU are the only one pointing the finger of blame all the time
You are a very sick human being!
YOU want sympathy for feeling lonely in a relationship? That's why I went to McGrath's in the first place
JESUS you are a HUGE hypocrite!
Do you have any idea how much shit you have put me through since you've moved out.
I didnt blame u at all drama queen.
Real compassionate little girl.
I've tried much harder than you.
Do you imagine yourself to be a picnic in a relationship? Do you imagine yourself such the perfect "partner".
And you yelled out your window as you made me unwelcome at your house - "you don't want to speak to me ever again". – Not what I said.
This is a perfect example of your very delusional victimhood bullshit.
I don't know why you continue to try and portray this martyrdom picture of yourself to me.
But you definitely DID say as you shut the window in my face that you don't ever want to speak to me again. –*Note- this is not what I said.
This bullshit victim story about how your so neglected is all made up in your very insecure and completely self centered mind.
Stop playing games like a fucking child.
You deserved to be hung up on.
Funny, you called me more in the 5 minutes that you were so desperate to get off on dumping me, than you did the entire month that I got my DWI.....that's the kind of "partner" you are.
I can't believe one word you say about other guys or anything like it.
blah blah blah new guy blah blah blah I don't read the emails thoroughly blah blah blah making shit up to suit my cause.
blah blah blah, I'm an insensitive person, blah blah blah, you're not good enough for me, blah blah blah, I'm the perfect partner
it is really fucked up of you to drag things out for me
You are a very sick little girl.
It's not enough that you lied to me about your feelings and broke my heart, you have to make up lies about me and tell people you're in danger? - (Note: This was an assumption he made)
I am on the hurt end of this. This wasn't my choice, it was yours entirely. – (Note: The hurt started before the break up for me. That’s the difference.)
Pure paranoid delusional psycho babble.
You want to go and find how every many guys it takes to make you happy and I don't want to be around to see it.
No wonder you got so insecure about me going to McGrath's....because for you, going out to a bar DOES mean that you're hooking up with someone else. Are you screwing him already or do you think you can finish disentangling your life from the "man you're so in love with" first? - (More assumptions. I've been home every night save for one night that I went out for a couple of hours.)
I can't believe how completely full of shit you are and how easily you can lie about love. You are a woman of very low character.
Get your shit and go be with your new boyfriend you heartless lying cheat. – Complete incorrect assumption
What kind of woman tells a man she wants to marry him and then less than two weeks later goes and finds another man behind his back because she's not getting laid enough during the week. You said you liked the sex so much, but all of the sudden you're content to have none? You are a liar. I'm not stupid. I can see the truth here . - Huge Assumption
Because you'll never have me again.
You went out and found someone else because my depression is too annoying to you.
but stop selling this bullshit that you were in love with me. You don't know what it means to truly love another.
You just want to look like a neglected victim so that your new guy and your friends don't see the very shallow truth.
I won't call it making love because it was only that for me. You only kept me around for casual sex until you found another guy. Just like I always knew you would. –( It was obviously doomed anyway then. Should have let me leave sooner.)
You would NEVER tell the truth. I can see the writing on the wall. It's not hard to figure out. You ALWAYS want sex.
There is no way you would go from marriage to break up over not enough attention and then want to be completely alone and have NO sex. - Assumption
One night at a bar and two days later, relationship over, on to the next one. It's still cheating even though you broke up with me after you met him. I know very well that you will NEVER admit the truth, but it's obvious. – horrible assumption
And what makes you think that I have any desire to touch you in "any way shape or form" after you dumped me for being depressed and immediately ran to another man.
And I will sleep with the first girl who offers whether it works or not. – (Note: Great. Have fun. At least she’ll get your time and energy for a few minutes.)
There is no "abuse" drama queen
Hope you enjoy your new guy because you'll never have me again.
nd your logic as usual makes not a damned bit of sense.
And I have been on the other side of how you go from one relationship to the other. I have seen your character.....so save the indignant crap.
Now that you went out and got a guy behind my back, you've officially broken EVERY promise you've ever made to me. - ( I didn't)
That way your new guy and your facebook friends won't see you for the kind of woman that you really are. ( I don't air my stuff out on FB)
I guarantee that there are plenty of women who would appreciate my very attentive love making since you don't anymore. Maybe I'll just sleep with the first one to offer just to get you out of my heart.
Things didn't work out with (an ex) and I and she did some messed up things, but oddly enough, I always knew that her love was sincere. I can't say that about you. - This one really blew my mind since for 2 1/2 years I financially took care of our home together, put him on my health insurance and stood by him through surgeries. Ok, good that your ex crackhead girlfriend who cheated on you repeatedly was sincere.
That way you can keep your time and email boxes free (like you needed to last night) for your new guy.
That's what you really want right? Me out of your life forever so that you can be happy with the other guy. Do you tell him you want to marry him too?
You have been taking a giant shit on me for days. You have tried to trap me into legal trouble even....WTF. Talk about foul.....that is way below the belt backstabbing. (Paranoid because he tried to manipulate me and say he couldn't drop my stuff off due to a license limitation legally. So I said that I guess his license wasn't legal to allow him to drive over and scream at me on Saturday. That caused him to lie in emails to me saying he didn't drive himself over here and that I was lying. So untrue. I saw him pull in the driveway. Unless that car was Kit and Hasselhoff rented it out, he was alone)
You are not a good woman at all.
Ms. Judgmental.
There are so many different, positive ways, that you could have approached about me not spending as much time with you – Hahahah…That was done. There was just no follow through on his part.
That's name calling and "abuse"? You will stoop to any kind of ridiculous twisting in order to play the victim.
You haven't been "disrespected".
YOU are not being disrespected.....
And there you have it. What I feel is a typical list of things someone with PPD and NPD would say.
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