{My daughter's artwork above...self portrait of herself and her Buckley}
Well of course I am. If I were a country at war and had all these strengths and one tiny little bitty hidden weakness, but that weakness could destroy my country, he'd find it within seconds and I'd detonate into a pile of blown up heart.
I know he has a restricted license for now until he goes to court again next month when they really decide what to do with the charges. So yesterday I offered to take him to get hound food because he said he needed to, but he ended up doing it himself. Today I offered for him to go with the Teen and I to enjoy this state park where it has a huge waterfall and everyone wades around at the bottom of it. He had time constraints so he couldn't go. But I offered. And tonight I was trying to get a feel for his new life dipped so often in AA meetings that one doesn't have a chance to dry before the next layer is applied. I'm not trying to offend anyone about AA. I know he is doing this for court....not because he can't handle being around alcohol. He has an open bottle of bourbon sitting in his house that he hasn't touched in over a month now. So tonight I called him because I hadn't spoken to him since near noonish. I'd emailed him and not even crickets emailed me back. When I called and I'd mentioned that I emailed him he said "Well you could pick up a phone once in awhile." Alright dun-diddy-dun-dunce....how the eff do you think you got on the phone tonight? Because it rang. And I was on the other end. He imagines in chapter 23 of the story he's concocted, that he does all the reach outs. All the bleeding heart niceties. And that I am on a throne wearing my long fake nails, black lipstick and my 39 snakes are snapping at him as he tries desperately to woo me. And pretty soon he has me convinced so much that I am this person that I call the cops when I see a different reflection in the mirror than the one he has me believing is me.
He makes me require a cupcake. After I finish this beer.
I know that I've been so conditioned over these years that I can't even walk away in a healthy fashion.
I found out today by going onto CVS.com, that you can upload photos to be printed to the CVS site...from FACEBOOK. Not only your account, but any ole account you want. Your nine ex-boyfriends, your kid's party photos, someone you are stalking....but I chose a couple for my dad of him and the Teen. And ok, yes I did gank two off Miz Eye's page too. My older offspring is a fantastic artist with amazing expression. So yeah, I took two of her works of art, had them made into 5 x 7's and bought a couple of frames from the store for $3 each. Voila....artwork for my wall for under $10 for two pictures including the frames. The pictures themselves were like $1.69 each. I figured I'd let her be surprised when she visits from Arizona.
So yesterday I decided to try the deli across the street for breakfast. The young chef at my job makes a wonderful egg and cheese in a wrap and I am sure to come calling when I'm in the office. But I worked from home yesterday and thought, alright, let's check this shizzle out. Teen and I have been dreaming of it for some time now. And it's my duty to check it out before subjecting her to it.
So I order an egg and cheese on wheat bread....no don't toast it. WAIT, yeah, ok toast it. And then I had time to stand there and inspect. If you don't want me to inspect, you have to be quick or distracting. From the counter down, it looked like an old abandoned, asbestos crumbled building that they were borrowing for the day. The lower shelves were full of building "cumbles" and there were some running rust stains or "something" leaving abstract art on the face of the steel cabinets. At this point I'm thinking, but this place is really busy. Obviously people eat here constantly and the town's population is not dwindling SO much by the day. It must be fine (Say over and over to self like a mantra).
It was a great bacon flavored egg and cheese. So lifelike that I went against my Fingers Don't Touch the Food rule and opened up the sandwich to flip the egg over both ways, looking for the bacon that I couldn't see.
Sandwich FAIL for this vegetarian. And I won't finish eating something just because I walked over there and paid for it.
There was one other thing they could have made good on though. I'd run out of canned food for the Gato. She weaved around me all morning long letting me know that NO, I was not forgiven enough though she had dry food. So while I was at the Crumble Mart, I asked if they had cat food and he pulled a can off of a stack and handed it to me. Now I more bought it for the popularity factor than for any nutrition factor. It was like handing my epileptic child a case of twinkies and a Gatorade for lunch. As I scooped it out of the can, I saw the gelatinous blobs of Gross and felt bad immediately. But Azrael wanted it anyway. It was like a placebo....See? I fed you. No one forgot to buy you canned food. I'm a hero. And then I walked off wondering if I'd actually just purchased a can of B-grade uranium mixed with road kill.
And on that note, a cupcake becketh.
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