All You Need is Love. And Fleece.

Certainly can't complete the Christmas season without the SNL short, "C*ck in a box" (courtesy of Andy Samberg & Justin Timberlake).  Good thing I have that Norman Rockwell tinged tradition known as the SNL Christmas on my television.  It's nearly 10pm and I'm happy to have finally just sat down and escaped the newly born vapors of the litterbox.  I could save so much money and time if only I hated living with animals.  Which my neighbors would probably swear that I do when they hear my reaction to seeing a cat on the counter.  Or kitten curiously walking all over the stove when I walk into the room.  We have a cure for that.  It's called Never Leave the Kitchen. 

Tiny Kitty has been schooled well in the Authority of the metal blue spray bottle.  The bottle just needs to touch a surface and you can watch the agony of decision making just play out in real time and she usually makes a good choice.  Older kitty ain't scurred though and squints in anticipation of the gentle squirt rather than back off of chewing on the fake Christmas tree.  She's more of the Yes Sir May I Have Another lineage. 

Tonight was Humanling's Christmas concert at the middle school.  As usual, she nearly contorted herself in order to not see me in the audience.  Imagine the surprise when I let her in on the secret that I go to these things to actually see her!  When I sat down to look at the roster, I gasped out loud.  "Winter" by "Amos" was listed.  

Everyone has that song or list of songs that we just can't hear without crumbling faster than a granola bar.  All I did was see the name of the song and the tears started.  I've heard this song more times than I'm sure I can recall, since 1992.  And I've fallen apart most times since 1992 whenever I hear it.  Great.  Kid concert.   Why not just cure me of the whole thing and put it on a Kidz Bop CD?  That would be a successful Wreck and Re-program for me.  There's almost nothing worse than a Kidz Bop makeover.  

What I really can't wait to do is win the Powerball tonight.  I stepped over a blotch of vomit to go inside Mobil to get mine ticket this morning.  One of the things that I'd love to do is donate at least a million to the victims of Hurricane Sandy - to be sure they get to have a wonderful Christmas.  I don't want anything in return.  Except for Chris Christie's "governor" fleece.  If I win, I will totally haggle with him for that fleece.  I may use it as a car cover.  Or soft bed sheets.  Or lingerie.  

I will also buy one box of Twinkies.  I'm pretty sure at this point I can get them on the black market for an illegal kidney in a cooler (purchased off Craig's list) and some change.  

Time to busy myself elsewhere, lest I allow another evil Made for Hallmark Christmas special suck me in.