I like Yes! YES! Instead

True or False:  I am sitting here watching Antenna TV and there is another Dolt Worthy commercial on that makes me feel so pathetic for mankind and wishes we were still all clueless about money Cavemen.  The product is NoNo or something like that.  As in no showing your ass crack because you dropped your bag of chips and have bent over to retrieve them even though they fell in shit.  It also covers and controls the muffin top Like a Boss.  I would think that the NoNo could be more of a contraceptive.  I'll have no part of anything that tells me NoNo unless it's Flip naked and being playful.  

(*Note....the NoNo is not that other product that I thought it was.  It's for hair removal.  Because no matter what, you should feel bad about being the Sasquatch that you are.)

It's a Bourbon night kiddies.  So yes, I'll let you read me that Rainbow Fish book even though we're all old enough to write ten alternate endings, some involving Mr. Grey.

I want to admit something.  And I want you to just admit it too.  You love that One Direction song, "What Makes You Beautiful".  YESYOUDO.  And as many times as I've heard it, or...possibly played it on my own....I've come to a conclusion. Let's call it a 'case study'.  A 40 year old woman wrote that song.  A woman who knows what it's like to be a teenage girl and wants to hear such powdered confections from a teenage boy that doesn't involve wolf whistles or comments about her ass.  Or, let's face it, what WE'D want a boy to say to our daughters.  Clean, bright, clear faced and well past Invisalign.  Perhaps even simply happy with Spin the Bottle, a game that four year olds probably find conservative these days.  I love that damn song.  I harmonize with them in my car as if my car is on the stage with them.  I know there have to be some mamas out there who will be embarrassed with me, not long from now, who are also enjoying this song (not so much the eye candy though...they are kind of horrid looking fellas).

I feel like that dude from Of Mice and Men.  I just tried to rescue (yet another) rejected fruit fly from my bourbon and think that I smeared him on the way out of the glass.  I thought that was eyeliner on my finger.  I kept drinking the drink.  I'm sorta grossed out just a little.  I put him on my leg to dry out but I think my monster strength killed him.  I hope that last sip was a good one, little buddy  I'll finish this drink in your honor.

Ok, no I won't.  I'll rinse out my glass and then go get a fresh glass.  Because apparently if you Google life's answers like a magic eight ball, you will eventually move your possessions into a sterilized bubble.  Fruit flies are apparently giant murderers in a package that most of us consider benign.  But after all the ones that I rescue out of my drinks, I think they owe me a good turn.  AND, it's heavy duty alcohol.  They're the ones who'll be contaminated.  But just in case, no more sips from the glass that was the site of the accidentally smeared body.  

Well.  I feel like getting married tonight.  So I think instead that I'll pair up my bourbon with some level 117 Farmville.