Did I say balance?!? Silly me, allow me to clarify…..Balance on a tightrope that has one solid thread left and is on fire. Did I mention I was in platform shoes and my safety net is made of a bed of nails?
One thing that I am grateful for about myself is the Buoy effect. You can hold me down momentarily. But it is my nature to take my surroundings and buoy up and find a way to enjoy moments and enjoy life. Unless….unless there is a constant barge parked on top of said buoy.
I am currently either breathing in fog that makes me forget what language is, particularly what I’ve said and what it actually means. Or perhaps I am living with someone who takes my words, dips them in acid, distorts the shape, meaning and intention and throws them back to me so that I have no clue how I could have possibly caused the feelings in the other person to be so offended and ugly. Either way, there’s a door here and Fog hasn’t allowed me to find the knob.
I know life is better than it is right at this very moment. It can be infinitely better in the very next moment. Bridging the gap, owning it and breathing it is another action altogether. I love magic, I adore serenity and if a feeling glitters, I want to roll around in it and get it in my hair.
So eventually today, because my mate has decided to be defiant and try to soldier on through his physical pain and not ask for any help (due to the argument weather), I left the house and went where….????? To Borders!!! Because Borders and I are having an illicit affair. You’ll see. Borders WILL marry me someday.
I was really looking for gifts for my Humanling, who turns 12 tomorrow. How exciting! Unfortunately though, our home looks like Who Did it and Ran emotionally. Humanling has asked for no fighting for her birthday. I am going to do my part to hand it over on a silver, gold and chocolate platter! Hopefully if mate gets into a miffy tiff, there will be a phone booth nearby for me to jump into and change into Saint Welcome Mat so that I can handle his air barbs without reacting. But I can only do so much….so whatever you do, don’t hog the phone booths tomorrow. I promised Humanling some peace.
So while out today, I sorta accidentally found Enrique Iglesias in my hand. For $9.99. A penny more and I’d have to haggle. Enrique is a good sport though….he willingly sang to me all the way home…in Spanish AND English. There is something about the passion in his voice that makes me not even care that I don’t know if he’s making fun of my mom or not in Spanish. It’s all good. He can roll his “R”s.
I had my doubts I’ll admit…only because have you ever gotten so jazzed about a CD and then listened to samples on Amazon just to find out that what you’re hearing is two steps below ‘Eh’? I could swear I did that with this CD. But for the price, I gave Enry the benefit. Totally worth it for me. I love the duet he does on “I Can Feel Your Heartbeat feat. Nicole Scherzinger”. So much give and take, twisting, intertwining, like there is nothing in between the two voices. Whew. Got lost there. The link provided (Enry’s name) is for the deluxe version, which has eluded me. I had no idea or else I would have gotten that one. Apparently unless you party at i-tunes or Target, you ain’t getting’ it.
This was part of the joy of distraction today after another morning in Rotten Relationshipville. Mate has insisted on couples therapy, which may or may not help. I tend to be a tad skeptical, but am open to being corrected. I think needing couples’ therapy after only a year and a half together is a raging red flag. It’s tough to see the depth of feeling and love and openness at one point, just to have the window slam down on both hearts as they try to slip in just before the gap closes.
So windows, hearts, farts and the phone booth. Tomorrow is Humanling’s day and she deserves a carefree day to feel joy, fun and less like a mediator.
In the meantime, here's a eyeball's taste of Enrique.
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