My (and Your) Space

Our computers are set up side by side….Honey has a regular monitor set up and mine a laptop. There are all sorts of particulars that go along with this arrangement.

*Eating - There is barely enough room to slip two dinner sized plates onto the desk. We squish plates our plates up there, his mouse shoved over to the far ends of the equator. The dog sits like a golden isosceles triangle in Beggar stance behind us hoping to lick the plates clean enough to leave that slimy film on it. Sometimes someone has to resort to picnic status and type with their plate in lap. There are also many instances when suddenly looking upon the black desktop, amongst all the dust and sprinkles of animal hair, are tons of late night potato chip shrapnel. Only annoying if it wasn’t you who did it.

*Sharing (aka Distractions) – This is that intention that the road to hell is paved with. One of us in always in Thinking Mode. Which evitably means the other one wants to say something or show off some Absolute Gotta Pass It On NOW story, paragraph from an internet page or Facebook status. He is either playing chess or reading an article. I am reading something, playing games on Facebook, researching for my radio show, trying to type an email or write something blog worthy. I know, I usually fail. However, those are the times that I am about to hear the entire chess path playout square by square predictions. I know how to play chess and I can usually figure out a move or three ahead of time. However, Honey can figure out 20 of them and I will readily admit that I’m Just Not That Into hearing any play by play of something that I’m not obsessed with. I like to try and Beat Streaks on ESPN (and have figured out that I’m really better at it than I could possibly imagine – and have the longest streak in a house that includes a die hard sports fan). However, because I am playing Streaks, it doesn't transform me into an a Fan of Every Sport. I still really don’t know if you are talking to me when you yell at the tv. Even as I write, there is another demand of “You gotta check this out”. If I were an owl, it’d be less of a trifle. The tv is directly in back of me. However, the only “Hoooo” in my vocabulary is when I’m unsure of the person in topic. I will admit this – Honey is the best and most accurate house Sports Announcer there is. But being the focal point in the audience is pressure. I’m not sure if he’s actually asking me or the refs behind the glass HOW that can be a penalty or HOW they didn’t see the Face Masking. (All of this is usually not spoken softly. My defensive posture of contracted body in front of computer does not usually flag my mate into realizing that I am not really threatening as I play Farmville and I finally feel the need to ask “Are you talking to me?”

On a Sunday morning, as I stagger out of bed, get a nice hot cup of yummy coffee and sit down to my computer, I realize that I can only play PC games instead of read anything. Why, you ask? Because I’m going to hear word for word, an article from the NY Times. And then I’m going to get a commentary for every sentence he reads. With it comes a stressed out, angry tone…not at me, but at the subject matter, usually politics, which I care about but not this early. I want to RELAX and wake up and simply take in reading material that I’m interested in. If you are talking to me at my most brain available time simply to preach to the choir then I am most likely not going to be reading what I want. Then I will get lost in PC games so that I can keep up with what is being said. And I can’t even do that. Talking to me deeply about politics is sure to disappoint if you are looking for more than a couple of sentences as a response. I have my ideas about politics and definitely don’t understand why it seems so difficult for republicans to play nicely in the sandbox with everyone else. But I don’t want to hear every detail and the facts and figures first thing in the morning. My morning brain is not the same as his morning brain. This is what HE thrives on. I like to wake up on a somewhat positive note. By the time he is done, I need a half hour of deep breathing, 2 hours of yoga, a brisk walk around the block and then a double martini in order to bring my cortisol levels down.

*Arguments (aka Disagreements) – Comfort level set on: Yeeeeeeaaaaaaah. See computer set up above. Imagine sitting this close to someone and nicely parallel playing. This does nothing more than put a person in the interrogation room and all intentions of civilly playing games while attempting to Silent Seethe are moot.

*Idosyncracies – This goes on every day. He cracks his knuckles. A lot. There are a few things that I never learned as a kid – intentionally belching, armpit farts and knuckle cracking. My virginal knuckles crack by accident if banged and then for half a second, I’m a baby about it. I think it’s gross, even in my own body. His are like bubble wrap. Easily cracked and in a swooping Dominos Toppling Against Each Other type succession. I shiver inside every time. What I don’t do inside is keep words – my complaints range from the heavy sigh and disgusted look at subjected knuckles to asking “Why do you have to do that?” I get the same scientific answer every time so really, asking is just for the sake of announcing my level of angst over the sound.

That being said, I have my own Annoying To Be Near quirk. I shake. My legs bounce. If my legs are crossed, my foot bobs up and down. I shake his computer monitor even without touching the desk. I’ve done it since I was a child, as have my uncle and my brother both. Like a dog’s bark, it has many tones of meaning from Simple Energy Release to Nervous. (To dispel the myth, it does not mean that I have to pee or that I have untended to sexual tension).

*Privacy – I’m sure a very short explanation, if any, is needed here, given all of the above. Sitting side by side. It isn’t that I have anything to really hide. It’s that I might rather be comfortable writing what I will write without judgment or question, or opening up a can of worms the size of Eels with a strictly McDonalds diet. If someone looks over my shoulder, purpose or accident, while I’m writing, it will affect how I write. I am not one of those people who is comfortable with an audience while I type. It doesn’t make me shady – just self conscious. And I suppose there are times when you don’t always keep the Velcro attached at the hip and are indeed miffed with your mate. Those times are good to blow off steam to a friend in an email frenzy, fingers smashing the keys in record time. This alerts the Vs party that I am possibly maybe writing about the argument. To which a person can waft and float across the room over and over to peek over a shoulder or so in order to see how your side of the story goes, thus whipping a match out of pocket and igniting it all into further issues. Nope, I don’t do well with an audience during creation time.

*The Good Stuff - Granted, there are some positives to this arrangement too. But those are simple and require merely a sentence. Convenience to sharing when distractions are welcome, being close enough to put a hand in hand or rub the other’s shoulder briefly. Convenience for a kiss, an innuendo or to show off a sports score or new Farmville SnowCone Tree, ready for harvest (they really are quite pretty!).

So while I try to get it right, managing the distraction side of sharing, I will continue to trot on down the Facebook game app mode, to attempt to free my mind for what Honey wants to share.