Starbucks, The Realizations You Giveth Me

I have been enjoying a couple of hours here at Starbucks this morning.  Right up until the mobile diaper smell wafted by.  Was it the Bathroom?  The garbage?  Or the Butler!?!

On my drive this morning to drop off my EKG lingerie, I had so many thoughts.  Wonderful, meaningful, WORLD CHANGING thoughts!!!  Ok, well maybe just a little more mild than all that. I do think much better outside of the house.  Especially when I am not driving to work.  There are those days where on my way to work I have some nice creative conversations with myself, or stop along the way to capture a few moments on the camera.   I noticed today though, a long drive with no office to answer to afterward, felt like leveling up a bit.  More room expanded, more clear ideas sought me out.  I still haven't bought that lotto ticket though.

Dear God, I hope that Typhoid Bill across from me is not contagious.  He has been hacking all morning from that table directly in my line of air current.  

There is one event this weekend that I am looking forward to nearly above all others.  The neighboring town's library book fair.  HOLY HELL I can't wait!!!!  This is why I should cut up my library card.  Why do I need it?  Why do I need to browse through, window shopping, and then take out books that I won't get to on time?  Because then, if I really did want to read it, I'll hang onto it until I finish it.  Even if it is a painful $7.00 in fees later.  This is one reason why I look around my house and think, well shall I continue to be a Collector or an actual reader?  

The next event is I'M GOING TO CVS!!!  They nearly exclusively sell the Salma Hayek skin care line, Nuance.  She was on Rachel Ray yesterday and I think I can trust Salma.  I've heard good things about the line and she threw her grandmother's influence into the mix so when they choose G'mas over G-strings, it makes it more legit for me.  The best part is that everything is basically under $20.  One of the items is even a little over $5.  Salma is a Virgo.  I knew I liked her.  That and her Got Milk commercial even though I don't believe in drinking milk.  Uh oh....mind confrontation.  Don't believe in the one ad.....but wait, the Grandmother was involved!  So only one of them has to be bogus....has to be the milk ad.  That's my final ruling.

Heart of hearts....I found out that Joyce Johnson, former girlfriend to Jack Kerouac, is going to be at the Strand book store in NYC on September 26th promoting her new book.  I'm gonna Mariah Carey dis bitch and Make it Happen.  She may very well be the last living member of that most inspiring and fascinating Beat generation group.  I keep thinking...no, the money to get there, gotta buy the book....wah wah wah....but she's not Jif peanut butter in the bread aisle.  I can't just go there next week or the week after or in two years and I can has Joyce Johnson.  A scale tipper for sure.  Spend the dough, get the sitter, see the Johnson.  Oh dayum....don't be wrong - it's an elderly woman.  Then again, she was of the Beat Era.  

I have a couple of observations to make - one, people buy a lot of those yogurt and berry concoctions here at Starbucks.  Nice breakfast choice.  Maybe next time I'll bump the veggie egg sandwich in favor of.  Two, I am so thankful that my kids are 25 and 13.  I do not want to be chasing around any screaming little Ids through a store, finding myself silly enough to book a friend date at the same time so that I can attempt to listen to my childless friend as my kid pulls out the supporting coffee cup in a pyramid display.  You don't even have to look up to know the sound of a terrified mother's flip flops flapping by to keep their kid from licking the bathroom door handles.

Our show with Kaleah was pretty awesome yesterday I must say.  So glad to have had her on.  I'll bet if Flip listened to that show he'd ask me how I feel now that I've ripped off the SuperJerk mask and revealed that I Am The Narcissist. 

Use Your....Im-A-Gin-A-tion

If you’re a coffee drinker, you’ll understand this post like you understand how if you say something slightly negative about your own mom, it’s ok, but if someone else does they’d better join the witness protection program.

Note: When I use the term Coffee Drinker, I don’t include people who are ‘experimenting’ with cold, flavored coffees with whipped cream and a handful of powder for your chaffed ass. I’m talking about As Strong As You Can Get Without it Tasting Burnt. I’m talking I’d Grow Curly Yet Silky Chest Hair From It If I Weren’t a Woman, strong. I’m talking My French Press will Kick Your Filtered Mr. Coffee Crap’s tush right back to Columbia.

I can only really drink the coffee that we make here at home. Not true. I really only WANT to drink the coffee we make at home. We use Starbucks, whole bean coffee. We have our favorites and none of them are under the radar of “Bold”.

Due to proximity and not jazzed about driving out of the way by a half hour to pick up a bag of coffee, I chose a bag of “Medium” intensity Columbian Starbucks whole bean from the local Hannafords. I am truly grateful that Hannafords would ever bother to carry whole bean because it is clear by what’s on the shelf that this is an incredibly Do It For Me world, roads everywhere paved with bags of Ground Coffee.

All that was really left was Columbian. Huh. Okay, we’ll try that. I squinted critically at “Medium” but put it in the cart anyway.

Admittingly, I used to be a Dunkin Donuts junkie. I also had my starter coffee days in my early 20’s when it had to be light and disgustingly sweet, flavored if available. AND it had to come in a Styrofoam cup with that pink and orange logo.

Blech. Never again unless I wake up on DD island with no oars to escape.

Ok, Columbian Starbucks. Show me whatchya got.

Not bad…a bit light for my taste but not bad. But I have a way of dealing with these types of caffeine related dilemmas.

I PRETEND. I pretend that I am at someone’s house and that they have offered me a cup of coffee and this is what I was given. Usually I can handle coffee at someone else’s house because that’s what they have. THAT’S IT. It’s a wonderful gesture to serve a guest coffee and that makes it even more palatable. Perhaps it’s a survival mechanism. Or a Pollyanna-ish denial of reality. Or even just plain old overload of gratitude and needing a place to channel it.

Either way, it helps the medicine go down!

And this one wasn't planned, but if you look up 'coffee bold' in Google Images, it's what showed up. T'aint my fault.