The Politics of a Break Up on Social Media

Hey guess what I don't feel like doing near 10pm at night?  If you were thinking along the lines of cleaning the cat litter box and perhaps taking a late shower, you win nothing but you are correct.

I am currently listening to Walk the Moon, "Shiver".  But it's making me work for a good flow of the video.  I had to caress F5 in order to bust the stutter. 

So I previously spoke of the blahness of break ups.  It's pretty sucky to be the executioner.  You know you don't want to be in it anymore and that it was really stressing you out to be in something that made you feel like running outside for air. Only you were outside and there were no more portals to escape to.

I think this one was handled gently.  Sweetly, for an ice pick if you will.  I will say that the two parties involved are both over 40 years old.  So today, regardless of the subdued and normal text message from the ex reminding me that one of my shows was on last night (I saw it this morning so I'm going to sweet talk On Demand and hope that it is there) and a benign Grumpy Cat posting on my Facebook Wall, there was a group session on his.  Mind you we have some mutual friends.  His mother is also my "friend", as my oldest daughter and my mother is his. 

IMHO, how not to handle break ups ever on social media.  Bringing them up in any sort of detail.  I chose to hide my relationship status for now hoping to avoid drama or a sudden small number of emails from men who suddenly realize that I'm single.  Because it happens.  Guys you never hear from Suddenly think to ask you how you are doing once they smell the L'homme cologne has worn off.  So for a number of reasons, I prefer to go the candle fade out route instead of the instant snuff when it comes to the public.  

I give everyone their need to express grief and receive comfort.  But as half of this former relationship, have I grown a sac, cut it off and handed it over?  Don't I have some right to privacy here?

My ex decided to grief quite publicly, in a thank you post to All who had called him to check on him.  After he posted three 80's metal break up songs - Love Stinks (Adam Sandler), Bringing on the Heartbreak and Cinderella - Don't Know What You Got Til It's Gone.  I mean really. Was this necessary?  Why not just send a skinned piglet with a lit M-80 in it's mouth to my job?

So after all the sympathy and helpful friend things that people say, all that I could think was....I'M STILL HERE.  It's like I'm IN THE ROOM.  He didn't unfriend me and well, I can SEE that shit.  So I mentioned this to him - that maybe he should consider just unfriending me if he would like to feel free to post these things.   He said no.  He said he would just stop.  And.  Sorry.  

Well after someone burns your house down and turns to you and says "Sorry." it doesn't un-ash the place. What's done is done.

I also know that if I have something really personal to say to my mom, I would private message her. Except that she doesn't know how to get to it on Facebook still.  She still posts things that people would prefer that she didn't directly on YOUR wall.  Or someone else's wall while trying to get to you.  It's cute because she's my mom.  But no one wants that. My brother has messaged me asking questions about her strange postings...."Is mom okay?  Maybe she hit the wine early?"  So then I am forced to email my mother or call her.

The ex directly posted onto his mother's wall that she may not see him smiling for a bit but it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.  Ugh.  He is being a bad version (and not the Christmas specials version that I was addicted to for a moment last year) of Hallmark for today and I know I sound like the Grinch -  if he had to break it off with someone - but I'm not even famous and I can't deal with that sort of attention.  

It makes me just want to clean a litterbox.  So I am going to act on that impulse.