Ricci Will Be Missed

Otherwise known as "M", Ricci passed to the other side last night.

I am hoping he is in a field without tomatoes and green peppers, for he hated them.

I am glad that I held him for part of his last hours here and hope he felt all the love that surrounded him from my heart.

Welcome Little Purple Crocuses!

That is my favoritist Scientist up there, Bruce Lipton. He wrote Biology of Belief and it Rocks!

Sometimes its really frightening how long I go without blogging...or reading other blogs. I feel like my dayjob should just understand that reading other blogs on company time is actually like a break! And then we all come back (well, our eyes do since we never really got our winterized butts out of the chair to begin with) refreshed to work.

The radio show has been going well and my friend Jennifer and I are simply driven about it. Sometimes you create a goal for yourself that requires real work. By 'work', I mean that you have to jazz yourself, take a deep breath and do that thing you "wanted" to do. But then is it really something that you wanted to do? Really really really wanted to do?

This show has not felt like that at all. It is truly something I want to do. Working on it is invigorating, exciting, enlightening for me. I am so insanely happy that I am communicating once a week with Jennifer and someone that we feel is incredible to be able to speak with and spread their knowledge amongst others.

This has been an incredible weekend in many ways. One of them being a goal that I had set for myself. I would joke with Jennifer about this one guest that I simply need to have on the show. The hardest part for me was even to approach this guest to ask for an hour. He is so huge in his area of expertise that I was terrified to even ask. I happened to be in a relaxed vibe late one night and then just went for it. I heard back the very next day that Bruce Lipton is indeed accepting the hour with us!!!! Bruce Lipton is like the Godfather of Epigentics. He is my Scientist Rock Star. Well, he and Gregg Braden.

On another note, it was a turn of events yet again in the relationship arena. A good one. I won't go into it yet....but it is good fortune and at some point it will make its way to the bloggersphere.

Our hissing cactus of a kitty has gotten very friendly now. She no longer spats at us when we feed, get close to or try to pet her. She is like Azrael the Demon, in that they both enjoy watching "M" the guinea pig. She doesn't bother him, just takes him in a bit, and thankfully not by mouth. She enjoys Azrael's various haunts around the house, which has pushed Az over the edge into somewhat of a part time bully. They'll be buds in a few months. It's a small apartment.

Humanling and I watched the Nick Kids Choice Awards last night. I hate that Dwayne Johnson isn't repulsive.

Hubby #1 called today and mentioned that he went out on a bad date with an ex who he dated before he even knew me. He said she talked junk about me and even about our daughter, saying that she's a beautiful girl but a mistake on his part to have had her. Now, realize that this is his version, which means it could have have happened all in his imagination. I told him that I was going to contact her right there on the spot to say a few words and he did not even try to stop me so I'm guessing that his imagination is quite vivid.

Now, I am a peaceful girl with no real want for this kind of drama. I don't care what is said about me. But if you pick on kids then I do wonder how that person is thinking. I simply emailed her saying that she doesn't know me personally and never has, so anything she has to say regarding me can be laughed off as tabloid material. But.....verbal negativity about our child from someone who wants to date my ex is going to be a no no. I did say that we are still close - which we are. He makes my eyes roll constantly since we have different ideas about how to live our lives. He doesn't see our daughter hardly ever but they do speak on the phone pretty consistently and that makes her happy. I mentioned to her that indirectly, whoever is with him, is going to need to be comfortable with us being a part of his life and that even my parents still consider him family (now THAT is true...even after any chaos I've gone through over him...but he's not abusive or a cheater...he's just more of a deadbeat sort of issue and can't seem to hold down a consistent job). I also said that if she ever married him, I would most likely be the best man at her wedding, so the insecurity can't do any good. I made sure not to sound in the least like the jealous ex wife, because I'm not kidding - that is not a part of it at all. I'm the first one to wish him to find an intelligent and wealthy wife.

She did write me back and said she didn't say that like he thought. Well, I replied, that's between she and him now and good luck.

I was rather surprised to see that he was not embellishing that she really wants to be with him. Her Facebook wall clearly states that he is her true love. I thought that was cute.

I certainly don't want to be harsh. I will be direct but I don't want to be negative. Humanling is as far from a mistake as the order of the universe. She was very much a planned child and very much wished for.

Well, there is something on the stove, and it bears repeating that Shades can't be on the blog and cook at the same time unless we like to eat things in the shade of black.

Oh wait - American Idol faves are currently Adam and Allison.

Hope everyone is enjoying the beginning of the Spring Equinox!!!

Can I Just Take the Extra Hour From Work Tomorrow To Not Vacuum?

Who had beautiful weather today??? Today had on its GOOD makeup! We wore light sweaters if we even needed that.

I should be sitting down with my jewelry and creating some things for the next three upcoming shows....BUT...I've chosen to do dishes, laundry and everything in between. Ever do that? You have something to tend to and suddenly you don't mind doing the litter box? I love making jewelry but as many folks who do crafts know, lots of little pieces and *things* and they're not always in the best organization. Making something requires opening all the containers and pulling out all the components. It has been started. And then Humanling's hungry buzzer went off and I had to go be all mom and stuff.

She's having those mung bean things again. How could I make jewelry while my small motor skills were all messed up from shuddering?

*Important Note*

This week we are having a healer on our show. This is a call in show and if you would like to speak with Glen Philips, it would be a great time to call in. He is also an animal communicator. Our call in number is (646) 716-5953 and this show is on March 11th at 5:30 EST for one hour.

Both my co-host and I have had healing sessions with Glen previously. Mine was over a year ago. He is just so wonderful and gentle and is an empath. He knew I was thirsty because he was thirsty.

But back to other personal items. We have a new family member! I'd take a photo of her but the camera doesn't turn corners or act as a downward periscope. We are the second home for Princess, a 4 1/2 year old indoor cat. She came from a great home but they have three children, all under the age of seven. The mom felt it best that she go somewhere where she may have more attention.

So she is here, under the furthest corner of my bed, nearly folded in thirds to keep herself safe. Az the Demon has only had the pleasure of sniffing under the door. We're hoping that Miss Princess will come check us out tonight during the night. Humanling is sad that she can't touch her yet. Although as an adult, we know these things better, we know that the frightened animal will come out, we still feel sad for their insecurity. I gave her former owner a baggie full of coconut hershey kisses for his sad kids. And oh yes they did...they made coconut filled kisses. They are amazing. And I'm not a huge wax chocolate fan.

In other news, the economy seems alive and well in my neck of the woods. On our walk this morning, there was a roll of sushi on the ground. See people?! We have money. We can buy sushi and throw it around like confetti around here!

Things are lowtide in guyville. Single dad has emailed me every day, and we do have a good repoire. I'm just a Princess hiding in the furthermost corner under the bed when it comes to relationships. He's asked me for the Saturday night slot to check out a comedy club. I miiight, Rabbit...I might....

That would involve babysitters though. I usually don't have an army of them hanging around...especially people who know the food code.

Capricorn has been hovering over/flirting with his friend's wives on Facebook and enjoying his new spot at work with new faces around him. I do notice the sudden increase in time spent around certain desks and well, that's ok. We're free agents. The constant need for all this attention and ego stroking does nothing for me though and doesn't have me running in his direction. I mean we all like attention, but you haven't seen THIS. Well, you probably have in someone else.

After asking me to hang out over and over ( I usually decline because I like to try and get things done - read up for the upcoming shows, research ideas for new shows, meditate, stay connected with God - God and I are SO gonna be BFF's, do the jewelry, look for new shows and oh yeah...feed and raise that humanic animal that calls me 'mom') he finally asks for a moment of my time at work. What I have to briefly say here, is that I actually have two jobs at work. I was a guinea pig a year and a half ago to test out people covering two positions. I'm always busy for the most part. He seems to float around like a tumbleweed for a good part of the day, coffee cup in hand, talking to the womens. I don't actually know what he does. And I've asked. I just don't get a straight answer.

So all that said, he comes to my desk and asks if he can walk me to my car when I leave. That would be fine but he wants to *talk*. I dash out of there on a strict schedule to come home, boot up the laptop and get my butt outside to welcome the Ling home off the schoolbus.

I tell him that he has to stop talking as soon as I get to my car if that's the case because I have a schedule. He gets sorta Eh with me and I'm Eh with him but as we're walking, he goes back to his desk, so I simply say I'll email him later.

When I finally get to my car, I turn around and there he is. He had to have run partially to get to where he was. There are tears in his eyes and he says he feels like crying and that he can't take it anymore.

I can't speak Crumb so I'm not sure exactly what they feel like but I'm pretty sure I was experiencing the emotions of a crumb. I felt really bad for him and that I somehow had something to do with this. I said we'd figure out when to talk since he said he had so much to say.

He came over later on and he did bring with him a wonderful vacuum cleaner of his that he didn't want and had hardly used. My house is 100% looking hot since getting sucked.

He started to talk but then said he forgot all of what he wanted to say. This is kinda how things go with him. And he's a guy who writes things down all the time. Normally he would have a 3rd draft with him and read off of it. So I don't know what that's all about.

And I knew he would be up in arms about Princess so I didn't tell him until Friday. I knew he would say to me "you already have enough to do, you don't have time as it is, blah blah blah".

This is why I don't do the relationship thing with him. We don't think alike mostly ever. I am grateful for this awesome vacuum cleaner and did offer money for it. I just don't know what this person sees for potential with us. It's just very odd for him to say these deep and heartfelt things and then he makes passes at the wives. I'm no prude and I believe in flirting but I probably wouldn't hit up my friend's hubbies on a social network and instigate.

So pluh.

We're trying hard to downsize here in the apartment since it gets cluttered fast. I keep trying to tell myself that as we went to the Goodwill and bought a few things. I can't help it - the shoes are such a steal!!! And I got this KILLA spring dress! Even the check out ladies were hatin'....in a nice way of course. I am a paying customer, after all. Humanling hated me for three stretches of a nanosecond because I refused to buy her a lava lamp that didn't bounce.

New shoes, vacuumed house, beautiful day.

And if anyone needs a little healing work or wants to discuss their animal, call us this Wednesday!

The Cat Stares. It's Not Right.

I really need a focus outside of relationships. Then again, I was blessed with about five Libra placements, including my Venus, so maybe I'm in my element.

Humanling's bus was a bit late this morning on top of a delay. I have a superhuman for a boss so this isn't a problem. But it was slightly annoying. I realized that we were heating ourselves up in the car on an empty gas tank and that I'd have to make that joy trip right after the bus puffed the first clouds of exhaust my way.

Most of us probably have that gas door that won't open from the outside of the car. You have to flip up that little lever that's inside. I did that.

Nothing.

I panic for a moment. Late. Freezing. On E. Flip it again....

Nothing.

Shite man. I have to get to work, not to mention that this morning was one of the only mornings where I thought it was painful to be in the cold for a second longer than necessary.
I tapped into my inner MacGuyver. With a book of CDs, I propped up the lever and with my work badge, I picked the door open. Dilemma resolved. The world was in the flow again. Ok, ok. MY world was.

It was a rather packed work day. Many of us were moved last week and I'm loving my new digs. I'm still part of that hamster habitrail mentality but on another side of the room. Capricornius was moved as well...we're close enough to hear each other but our views are obscured....a good thing.

He emailed me to ask for a short walk today to talk. I didn't make the time because I was already in productive mode due to the late show up in the morning. I could see him getting more and more uneasy as the day went on. When this girl puts up a wall, its no Nerf deal.
Eventually about ten minutes before I was about to leave, he descends and squats down next to me. He said he needed to say something and that it can't wait. Reminder: Corporate environment. Cluster pods of workstations. Thankfully I am as remote as you can get in that situation.

Before I can get the ear piece out of my left ear, I am psychically sucker punched with the L bomb. Not Lillies. He just looks me in the eye and says he loves me. Pauses. "Completely." No pause. "With all my Heart."

I think I squirmed a little.

I used to be really demonstrative in every way. I think I lost that ability after the 2nd trip down divorce aisle at Walmart.

In fact, eons ago (I really need to use this word as a label for my posts since I abuse it so much), I wanted nothing more than to marry this Goat. But that's when the relationship was a bit more dysfunctional and he seemed to always have the upper hand. Whenever I pull away, he seems to crank the effort levels up to infinity %.

Meanwhile, Single Dad emailed me lines from Drake & Josh and I-Carly all day. And got them all right! This is truly the mark of someone that I can get along with. A Nickelodeon man. Someone who can talk about the Tao of Fairly Oddparents and what tv parents are hot on these shows. A man who can look at my Facebook account and call me on the fact that I'm "friends" with Jerry Trainor (Spencer, Carly's older brother from I-Carly). And no, not a "fan" of Jerry Trainor....Friends with Jerry Trainor. Yeah...maybe there were slightly stalkerish tendencies happening when I hit that button but it's not like I'm alone in Doing Shady Things on this planet.


Back to Capricorn....I've always felt that as long as he feels secure, the huge demonstations will end. If I let him out of Fighting Knight mode, he'll turn into King Henry during the middle stages of wivedom when he'd sorta been there, done that already. I wonder if being the middle wives is like being the middle child.

I am so pysched that American Idol is on tonight. Adam Lambert is so hot. So what if he looks like the baby that someday will be born by Joe Jonas and David Cook. No one can ruin this for me. Unless he is photographed in a tub full of mung bean strands. I don't care if he's *allegedly* gay. Aren't we all gay? Maybe that's why none of my relationships have worked out this far. They all had protrusive anatomy below the belt.

But I'm a sucker for protrusive anatomy. No pun intended. (Am I going to get a slew of love mail from the mens now?)

Well gotta go. The cat's staring at me. She's not normal.

Will Someone Remove this Young Man from my Trousers?

That up there is a quote from I-Carly. Not the crack....the Trousers. Consider it a tribute.

This is modern life. It's a dangerous snowstorm for some today. I have a Drake's crapcake truck sliding and spinning tires, spending a tank of gas to get out of his spot at the gas station where he's had to deliver. Life is so laughable that in a storm, we must be sure that the sugar and partially hydrogenated Treats to the Angioplasty center are delivered on time. He literally spent over 20 minutes trying to get out of the awkward big truck position on a tiny slope with snow.

Humanling tried something new tonight. Something that I was open enough to buy but not to taste. I made mung bean noodles. I know it rhymes with dung. She was tough to be around today. So I said to myself, I know what will fix HER wagon. But it seems that she really really likes these freak of nature transparent wormish noodles. They aren't even noodles, they are mung bean STRANDS. {shiver!}

I decided to make this awesome and easy looking soup tonight. It was simply water, lentils, carrots, rosemary and garlic. It was coming along beautifully. Until someone slipped a bar of soap into it. I didn't see the soap but I certainly did taste it. Unless Rosemary lathered way too much before hopping into the pot. Does anyone else ever have Cuss Word Repentent tasting soup? Blah! I can't bring myself to throw it out yet...all that work....

Genie made a very eye opening statement on last night's blog....have I become a Facebook dater? It's true....a FB flirt for sure but DATER! You know its only one letter from overkill....when you change your status so there is no online detection and you become a HATER! Oh Genie....you are so right...what has happened to my life??

But its so much fun. Addiction anyone?

I think Creepy aka Atlantic City is showing a few sides of fugly here and there which is unfortunate, He's blowing the whole good story this could have been. He's shown that some people are capable of becoming insanely possessive and crudely forward without really re-knowing someone over twenty years later. Plus there's something else that doesn't seem right to me. I don't want to judge but I prefer that if I'm in any sort of vibe with a single dad, that he talks about his kid. A lot. Creepy told me that he has a 10 year old boy and that he lives with his mom. Period. No photos, never talks about him otherwise....he's just busy making innuendos out of my sore throat status.

Capricornius has gotten that downwind scent of Another Guy Being Interested in me. I went to trek down to get my coffee this morning in the snow (easier to walk than to clean off the car) and found an envelope outside my door. Oh ladies...YOU know. The swooning happens when they think they are losing something. It was an incredibly sweet thing to do....to drop it off on his way to work (way out of the way) in a snowstorm. But you know the Caps buy sweet cars so he was safe. It seems from the card, that he would like maybe to seal this up a bit tighter. Sometimes its a nice thought...but we have such different taste in paint.

Here's another plug for our show this week ~ we have about seven awesome guests on this week discussing the subject of how your mind has the potential to shape the expression of your genes as well as the world around you. Holy bats, crapman! It's gonna be good!!! Again, that link to James Sinclair's documentary is www.whatifthemovie.com . My future husband, Bruce Lipton is in it. I like smart.

Guess where I met James? On Facebook! Yes...it's all coming together now....

Snow Flakes Thought Bits

I always miss when I don't blog for a bit. It makes it hard to even look at the Google webpage to search anything. The guilt is overwhelming. For myself of course...not that I think anyone out there is just refreshing the page over and over to see if there's a new post!

Humanling and I ran into her chorus teacher at Borders last night. She was raving about HL's voice. She said that she has such a pure and clean 'kid' voice when she sings. That's funny, they say that about me too. Not. She said if she could single out a boy and girl to solo it would be my Lingish and she named this other boy.

The things I have no idea go on....! I was so impressed! I think I shat gold pieces right there in Borders....which is dangerous because I don't wear underwear unless it's *necessary*. (I'm a hater on pantylines and the wrong underwear just slices your otherwise nice lookin' butt into halves, which shouldn't happen) The Ling doesn't let me hear her much though. Last night she was singing in Borders when I wasn't in the same aisle and I just stood listening to her...she was singing the Beatles. =) Spoiled brat...I bought her this huge Beatles lyric book for $9.99. I've read that people born on the day of 6 are naturals at singing. I do know that my co-host of Scorpion Equinox IS a singer, and has a fabulous voice. Even her voice on the show is just full of beautiful ennunciation. I'm a 6 as well, and yo, I can Sang. But only my steering wheel, Humanling and the ex husband (#2) would know that. He and I used to write and record music together. The Humanling is also a 6. Are there 6's who agree that might read this? Or non 6's that disagree?

Humanling has just descended into tonight's blog and wants me to give an honorable mention to her boy Barbie doll, known to most of us as Ken, known to her as Kevin Voltez Doodoo. I have no idea why Kevin. Why Voltez. Doodoo I can understand.

During the week, through the amazing function of the Facebook Instant Message, I spoke to someone who has been mentioning getting out for a drink together for the last month or so. Someone I knew around 1991 or so and someone I would have never dated back then. He was too "nice" and clean cut and didn't work in the warehouse amongst the dust. No long hair for me to share my hairspray with and no instrument that would show me his creative musician side. He did however, start a pretty good local radio station program around here at the time that was all about raging, raw metal. I still didn't really give him any thought even though I thought he was nice.

So we got talking on the IM, and it turns out that the people we are now seem to have major things in common. Like picking out the w's from the M & M bag.

He is also a parent, a full time single parent for the most part. His daughter visits the mom a couple of days a week.

So in a moment of wanting to force uncomfortable changes upon myself, I said ok, maybe we'll meet out on Sunday if my mom will watch the Ling. I told myself I'd be more social this year. Joining more groups on Facebook or emailing people is social, yes, but not the kind of social that I meant. So a date was made.

True to my nature, I woke up fighting how to get out of going today to meet Single Dad. I have horrible OCD about public places during flu seasons and of course we were meeting out. It's not so bad if I don't have to really touch much (like at Borders we wear our gloves while perusing...and yes, I am a freak...when we leave I have her wipe down with an alcohol wipe in the car, boil her and then put her in a vacuum pack bag) but this was going out and having a beverage so that means sipping off a glass. Ewwwww.......and whether I indulge in a drink or a coffee, I can't use a straw. THIS is what would determine me not going today and its just such a lame podium to be behind. Otherwise I wasmostly ok about going...besides the usual hemming and hawing about doing my own thing today.

But I went, we had a great time, he spilled part of my drink on me and I'm glad I went. I would go again, although I'm not sure when. We have three craft shows to get ready for and this week's Scorpion Equinox show is going to be amazing! We have about seven guests from the documentary "What If" (www.whatifthemovie.com)

And being in wonderful Connecticut....we are to have a nice amount of snow tonight. I hear the mayor sent my mom the pre-recorded prime time phone call to let her know there's going to be a load of snow!!! I hope school is cancelled tomorrow! Am I the only parent?

I saw a repo man this morning. He stopped at this apartment building looking for someone specific in order to repossess their car. That could have been me as of one week ago. But I am totally up to date now. I'm glad that I did my taxes when I did in order to pay for the car. I feel bad for the guy that does that job as well as the people on the other end of it.

Capricorn and I still see each other at work constantly but as he is totally a guy who has to jump from one female's desk to another and needs a lot of female attention and reinforcement, I just end up cutting back on the time. I talk to guys, sure, on FB and things like that. I don't seek validation from them, but do enjoy speaking. Maybe this is the case with Capricorn as well. However, it'd be really weird to be committed and really *together* and having him constantly doing lunch with all these young early 20 something females while his almost 40 year old girlfriend is not joining them ever. It just doesn't flavor the palate in a friendly way. But I'm honest with him...I won't just pull back and simmer in it. I let him know in a gentle way and that its ok and that I wouldn't want to change him...it might not be for me though. That and his taste in paint. Is Tannish-grey a color? And furniture. And TV Shows......

So waiting for snow...excited that we are in March now and Spring is right around the corner...even if it does snow for the next month or so. We made it. And the $1600 heat bill was paid. Amen.

As I am a Jesus Nature Earth girl....I gave up some things for Lent. My friend at work was saying he is going to give up potato chips (he's in his later 50s) so I said YEAH! Me too me too!!! So we've got each other's backs. All chip related items are off my list....except pretzels. Because they aren't sexy like doritos or cheese doodles. Their burst of flavor doesn't really exist. They aren't too tempting but will do and taste good while doing. Then in a moment of chaotic synapses overcharge, I agreed to give up baked items like cookies and cupcakes too (even the gluten free versions). Sigh. There will be a lot of dark chocolate in my immediate future.

So I think I'd like to have a Coke and a smile, and perhaps get to read some blogs.