When I was little I wasn't a girly girl. I climbed trees and collected tadpoles. But I couldn't do the following:
arm farts
burp on cue
burp real loud
Humanling, with no training from me, can:
Arm fart ferociously
Burp on cue AND like a sailor so that heads in the same zip code will turn, see that it came out of a 52 lb little girl and then laugh
Burp words
Give herself a wedgie (I have never, nor will I try to. Buying from Victoria's Secret alone though qualifies).
Fall down or somehow get me to touch her while walking past the local coffee shop where there is an instant audience assembled. For a bonus she may then yell in pain and a clearly abused fashion that she's gotten hurt and that I have done it. Three words ring up and down the street- YOU HURT ME!!!
****That last one would have gotten my mouth and tongue smacked straight off my face when I was little.
1 comment:
I could not burp a sound until I was nearly 25 - I could somehow open my throat just crack, and let out the gasses in a silent rush. Then one day, urpp - I felt it, and then, overnight, I couldn't NOT make a sound. Now I burp like a badge of pride
Wedgies are overrated.
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