Did I Win or Get the Door Prize?

Where did that weekend, containing every gamut of emotion leave us?

It left this huge question mark - what is allowed to happen next? Would I get the email saying, "Well, it was nice, but I've parachuted back down to level ground and uh, no thanks."?

We both sent the basic "weekend after" email....the expression that it was great, had fun, and in complicated terms, Wow.

But then I received the virtual eye squinting that I thought I might have gotten earlier. A long enough email, telling me that well, how can he know the Bad wouldn't happen again. That basically, there was some anger, but there didn't seem to be enough. More like he intended to maybe be angry but the In Person may have diffused some of it.

After I read that email I felt pretty uncertain about what would happen - until I saw above it, another email. It simply stated, "In case I didn't make myself clear - I want to see you again."

It's been a couple of weeks now. And he's seen me again. He's wooed and completely owned me again.

We both feel that this is IT with airhorns, beer pong and devil dog eating contests.

I can't say that if anyone has the same story, it'll work out this way, but I can say that without being a gang member with coersion colors, you don't know if you don't meet fate halfway.

I know I was leading up to writing that apology letter to him. However, with utilizing my new hobby, listening to what's really deep down instead of making things happen when the time didn't feel right, things seem to have gone in a way that wouldn't otherwise be possible.

All of this went down about three weeks ago and 3.a dates ago. In our current measurement, one date = about 2 days, 2 nearly all nighters and one Gotta Get to Work train ride on Monday. I had an extra surprise bonus visit last night which qualifies as "a" since I kissed him at the train station yesterday morning. SEE! He walked through the dark, quiet streets of my town where our unamused amateur druggies lurk and hide from our unamused and bored cops just to knock on my door near 10pm or so. It's not the past where he shows up to greet me and my fiance. It's finally our time for real, where he shows up and I can jump straight into his arms and cover him with kisses.

If I'm not already closing anyone's lids during attempts to read these, I probably will start. I'm boring now. The piece fits. It's all about the L word now, People. Not HBO's version of it either.

My rants may just have to settle for inserting my planetary opinions into the conversations of strangers now.

And a public thanks to those who really did back me up, no matter how much of a lost cause it seemed. And Alan (http://thisredeem2.blogspot.com/) thanks for your simple comment that replanted some semblence of faith in me.