I left a box of stale cereal out here yesterday, thinking that I would put it out on the lawn once the rain stopped, for the crows or whatever likes stale honey kissed cheerios. I came out here this morning and there are a bazillion tiny ants who flash mobbed the scene. I've since taken the box away, shook it out on the lawn and then shook out the box, taking the plastic out as well. Some ants were still stuck in there and I get that buried alive feeling if I think even one ant will be stuck in the plastic or the box with no way out before it hits the garbage. Both pieces of garbage are resting on the stoop to give these stragglers a chance to figure it out. They must know who I am though. They're taking their sweet time and there's no way I can rest unless every one of them is out.
I'm still haunted by a spider episode from a couple of weeks ago. I was driving and saw that overnight a fabulous looking iridescent green spider had woven a web on the outside of my car, linking onto the side mirror. I thought I should pull over and remove this strong and courageous soul, but when there are cars behind me I feel pressured not to interrupt the traffic flow. This happens when I want to pull over and take photos as well. Although sometimes I will assert myself with a right turn signal and pull over. I got onto a part of this small highway and the web was just furiously moving up and down, like super plucking a rubber band. (I wanted that to be one word - rubberband, but spell check is being an irritating nit pick about it.) I gave in and pulled over from doing 55 mph, looked to the side of my door and spider was gone. Big Giant Sigh. I was too late. I'd thought about saving him for over two minutes at this point and dragged my feet too long. I could only imagine the long road behind me, where he would have flown off and if he'd have a chance of not getting run over after all that. Isn't that life though? You think you're doing one thing and then suddenly it seems lijke the wheel in your hands is no longer supporting your turns? I think too much about these things. So much that I fear if I ever get over my fear of flying and go to France, I'll be laughed back out for not eating any and all beings with eyes. They'll probably won't even send me out with a complimentary cheese wheel.
I've been jonesing for a Sunday NY Times for awhile. But they're $5.00. Something that used to help the gas tank 20 years ago.
I'm pretty happy about my daughter's choice in music lately. I've got Jazz24.org playing on my laptop much of the time when WFUV.org is playing 60s and 70s type rock (I am so allergic to much of it, sleepy, gray colored boredom). WFUV plays excellent music - but Sunday mornings I run the risk of crossing paths with kryptonite if I put that station on. Last night since it was a weekend night, I let the Humanling sleep next to me. I had the tv off for a good part of the night until SNL came on. As she fell asleep she heard the Jazz24 dude say "Thank you for listening" and panicked. "Is it over?!?" She was melted butter once again and the world was right when I said it's not over, it's just a thanks. She commented again this morning how much she loves this station. Man. I wish my parents listened to this stuff when I was younger! They didn't...they were the um....60s and 70s classic rock fans. Or my dad was. My mother loved disco and my heart beats to it.
Before I was ten years old however, I found myself also enjoying classical music. I had a radio by my bed and would frequently put on classical stations. Probably the result of growing up in a violent household....anything soothing was welcomed. However, I will say that I also equated classical music with Christmas music, which always brought about a soothing, cozy feeling. It's all about the comfort levels. And I hope with this Harvest Moon, I will pack up the rest of my things and leave Drama land, to go back to the comforts of my own life. I have a lot of years to make up for that haven been shaven off from the last few years of stress. So to my own excited and loud mind I say, Shhhh....we're healing.
