Harvest Moon in notes.....

This song makes me cry every time.  It's so damn romantic. Ew.  Lately though it reminds me of my father finding love so late in life.  And it saved his life.  

Come a little bit closer
Hear what I have to say
Just like children sleepin'
We could dream this night away.

But there's a full moon risin'
Let's go dancin' in the light
We know where the music's playin'
Let's go out and feel the night.

Because I'm still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon.

When we were strangers
I watched you from afar
When we were lovers
I loved you with all my heart.

But now it's gettin' late
And the moon is climbin' high
I want to celebrate
See it shinin' in your eye.

Because I'm still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVi0UvFu8Yo

Coffee Rambles and Ant Mobs

Sunday morning, kiddies!  Porch time for my date with Yello Jacquet, coffee and laptop.  It wasn't until my hand touched the doorknob on the way outside that I realized I have no idea what I look like right now.  My hair is all feral, my sleeping pants have holes in them (and boy is the stone cold!) and I don't wear shoes out here in the mernin'.  

I left a box of stale cereal out here yesterday, thinking that I would put it out on the lawn once the rain stopped,  for the crows or whatever likes stale honey kissed cheerios.  I came out here this morning and there are a bazillion tiny ants who flash mobbed the scene.  I've since taken the box away, shook it out on the lawn and then shook out the box, taking the plastic out as well.  Some ants were still stuck in there and I get that buried alive feeling if I think even one ant will be stuck in the plastic or the box with no way out before it hits the garbage.  Both pieces of garbage are resting on the stoop to give these stragglers a chance to figure it out.  They must know who I am though.  They're taking their sweet time and there's no way I can rest unless every one of them is out.

  I'm still haunted by a spider episode from a couple of weeks ago.  I was driving and saw that overnight a fabulous looking iridescent green spider had woven a web on the outside of my car, linking onto the side mirror.  I thought I should pull over and remove this strong and courageous soul, but when there are cars behind me I feel pressured not to interrupt the traffic flow.  This happens when I want to pull over and take photos as well.  Although sometimes I will assert myself with a right turn signal and pull over.  I got onto a part of this small highway and the web was just furiously moving up and down, like super plucking a rubber band.  (I wanted that to be one word - rubberband, but spell check is being an irritating nit pick about it.)  I gave in and pulled over from doing 55 mph, looked to the side of my door and spider was gone.  Big Giant Sigh.  I was too late.  I'd thought about saving him for over two minutes at this point and dragged my feet too long.  I could only imagine the long road behind me, where he would have flown off and if he'd have a chance of not getting run over after all that.  Isn't that life though?  You think you're doing one thing and then suddenly it seems lijke the wheel in your hands is no longer supporting your turns?  I think too much about these things.  So much that I fear if I ever get over my fear of flying and go to France, I'll be laughed back out for not eating any and all beings with eyes.  They'll probably won't even send me out with a complimentary cheese wheel.  

I've been jonesing for a Sunday NY Times for awhile.  But they're $5.00.  Something that used to help the gas tank 20 years ago.  

I'm pretty happy about my daughter's choice in music lately.  I've got Jazz24.org playing on my laptop much of the time when WFUV.org is playing 60s and 70s type rock (I am so allergic to much of it, sleepy, gray colored boredom).  WFUV plays excellent music - but Sunday mornings I run the risk of crossing paths with kryptonite if I put that station on.  Last night since it was a weekend night, I let the Humanling sleep next to me.  I had the tv off for a good part of the night until SNL came on.  As she fell asleep she heard the Jazz24 dude say "Thank you for listening" and panicked.  "Is it over?!?" She was melted butter once again and the world was right when I said it's not over, it's just a thanks.  She commented again this morning how much she loves this station.  Man.  I wish my parents listened to this stuff when I was younger!  They didn't...they were the um....60s and 70s classic rock fans.  Or my dad was.  My mother loved disco and my heart beats to it.  

Before I was ten years old however, I found myself also enjoying classical music.  I had a radio by my bed and would frequently put on classical stations.  Probably the result of growing up in a violent household....anything soothing was welcomed.  However, I will say that I also equated classical music with Christmas music, which always brought about a soothing, cozy feeling.   It's all about the comfort levels.  And I hope with this Harvest Moon, I will pack up the rest of my things and leave Drama land, to go back to the comforts of my own life.  I have a lot of years to make up for that haven been shaven off from the last few years of stress.  So to my own excited and loud mind I say, Shhhh....we're healing.  

The Harvest Moon snuck up on me.  I fully realize that it wasn't scheduled to be any sooner or later and that it had changed plans.  I simply forgot until last night.  According to my trusty Moon Magick book, that I've had Foreva....(it was printed in 1995 and has probably been stored in many a basement or storage unit in between stabilities) it is a good time to "Clean and straighten up physical, mental, emotional and spiritual clutter."  (They actually put another comma in between emotional and spiritual but I get the heebies using a comma before 'and' during a list sometimes.)

So first, I am tempted to just look at this moon and say Seriously?  For all the of the de-cluttering that I need in those departments, the moon will need to hold its breath and stick around for another month and then swell up double, kind of poof out and dress up like a Jupiter or something for Halloween.  

But yes, this is great.  If you've read the posts leading to this one in the last few days, then you know if anyone needs a hand out from the moon, that'd be me.  Oh wait, did I mistake the divine planetary system for welfare?  Forgot...planets and moons make you WORK for that shizzle.  You don't get handed anything but lessons and then relief when you've finally gotten it.  If you never get it, then enjoy Planetary Groundhog Day.  Again and again and again.

So since we are having a ton of rain and clouds here tonight and I can't actually see the moon, I'll just work off of energy.  High tide doesn't see the moon either at times but does it give the orders to "Roll it back, boys! Caint see nuttin'!" ?  Nah.  We can't see atoms with the tastefully nude eye either, but it's all there.  Slough it off, whatever IT is, because most of us have IT.  Except Rachel Ray.  She's terribly adorable and I just want to eat her happy face up every time I see it.  

So for me tonight, even though there is still some Flip-o-drama still going on via The Email, I'm going to slough off my venom.  He has been rather El Crapitan to me, and making stuff up, manipulative, etc, just plain mean, provoking, controlling, stalking, um...did I leave anything out? And due to the fact that I haven't paid my inner storage bill, I cleaned house on him verbally in the last day or so.  Unapologetically.  That's right, I borrowed my own spine and probably beat him a little harder with it than I needed to but it was basically two months of pent up shushing on myself.  It was me turning the other cheek, and then spending my whole paycheck on buying back up cheeks because with him, you need them.  I think at this point even Jesus would have slapped his ass and the Buddha would have kicked a small dog.  He is to the point of finding even the tiniest insanity gene in anyone, given the exposure. 

So I am going to deal with the final stuff we have to deal with and try to do it firmly but without the piranhas tagging along.  Thanks boys, you've been a big help.  Three monthly installments of roadkill oughta do ya.  Deep breath in, and let out the resentment, the anger, etc....although yeah, that looks great in a blog post doesn't it? But really, I'll try.  And I'll try to be nice but without compromising myself and without sandblasting him.  Even though he did make a threat that would legally be one huge party of throwing me under the bus if I don't comply with something he needs.  I don't like threats.  I don't even take suggestions well if you say them in a way that tells me that you are correcting me instead of just innocently suggesting.  Actually, that's only if I can tell that you enjoy correcting me and think the Gods of Take That are going to pin you for the dance.  There have been, embarrassingly enough, times I have cut my nose off to spite my face.  Good thing I was crafted with an Italian nose.  There's plenty left.

Ok, so here it is Harvest Moon.....I am going to live in joy.  Yep, just like I said I wanted to in January.  All I have is now and I'm bad with appointment cards....I don't want to pencil in happiness.  It's just has to be.  So I slough the edge off my reactionary side.  And powder its face with poofy calm and fresh smelling karmic activity.  Because a few days ago, I fell three floors down in karmic points.  Seeing as I owned up to it though and thoroughly regret it, I hope that counts for something.  If not a toaster, then maybe a stick and some matches to heat my bread.  I'd like to get rid of Procrastination but I don't think I'm ready for that.  Ba bum bum! 

The bottom line is, just like I mentioned on one of my recent Facebook posts, I'm gonna have the energy of this moon come in and clean like I'm a hoarder.  

I toast to you, Harvest ol' buddy, ol' pal, with an Oktoberfest Erdinger.  Cheers!