I have marvelous friends in places I’d never have thought to look under.
Today was an especially trying day….I originally wanted the day off and in the middle of an incredibly busy week, successfully snatched it! Only to start the day off with my mate a bit nit picky on my Humanling for no reason that I could really validate….and boy, do I like to validate. It just seemed like he woke up on the wrong side of the barbed wire and although I could get away, the child couldn’t.
That there is what I call an Unfortunate Situation. Simply because mamas usually don’t enjoy watching their babies getting chewed up or out. Especially for reasons that are beyond the veil.
I spoke up and in this house, if you speak up for your child, you are subscribing to that magazine known as “Dividing the Household”. Sure you are! It says so on page 6. Don’t try to have an opinion, just know that whatever your thoughts are on sticking up for the child, you have committed the parting of the red sea straight down the family dinner table. Now repent.
I did something that I don’t normally do in this instance. I decided not to stay home and “enjoy” my day off full of fighting. I packed up, put up my dirty hair, and took my unbrushed teeth to work after dropping off my bundle of tweenness.
I then spend the day attending several Mind F**k events including, but not limited to; The Phone Rings every 15 minutes because your angry mate is calling (again), Email Wars and Your Mate has Called the Main Line to See if you are Lying and Not Really At Work.
That last one….a possible dealbreaker. High on my scroll of “Uncool” items.
What I did learn throughout the day was this ~ my friends have opinions. And one pipeline from brain to brain. None of them wavered from another with where they stood – and these were all separate conversations. A couple of them even offered me a place to stay with my not so innocent but definitely adorable Humanling. And for that, my body relaxes for a moment. I have options. I have friends who are willing to give me the key to a new life if I so needed it. It’s an amazing feeling and not taken lightly.
It’s like Christmas for my thristy cells that want to open and breathe life and enjoy every moment!
So now the real thought is….do I bring in the Clash? Should I stay or Should I Go Now?
Blended families are a picnic alright…with fireants. I know they can work….people manage. But somehow here, it seems like the norm at best is a small resistance. He doesn’t like the way she does this that and all other things, and she in turn, resents him for calling her on every little thing and forcing her to fix it.
I am feeling more in the middle – and of course Rawr….Mama Bear.
Even tonight, as we are all in the house, creating our separate dinners, doing our separate things, I hear him from the couch, telling me that I am coddling her. That the after fight coddles are happening basically. As he cuddled with his dog on the couch. Why can’t I coddle her? Hasn’t she been through enough regarding self esteem, mental and emotional components not unscathed?
So he resorts to what he does during these things and turns the volume up on the tv quite loud. He enjoys drama movies…the kind with sudden bursts of noise, or perhaps a squeely violin moment. I hate those. I’d rather immerse myself in cartoons.
So I do what I wish I could most other times….wait for him to leave the room and hit the volume button lower.
Breathing in possibilities.
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