The Forces of Az

Right before delving into my veggies after the Tiger Lilly incident, I consulted with Google regarding the potential toxicity of Tiger Lillies and their pollen. Apparently, Wikipedia has heard me -

While most parts of the plant are edible for humans, the pollen is considered poisonous. All parts of the plant are toxic to cats, resulting in kidney failure in a few days after eating it.

Well this sort of frightens me. I had them away from the cat, however, kitty was near the flowers somehow while I slept one night because I saw the pollen on her back.

This set me off terribly. When I freak out, what you see is a normal person, talking calmly and plugging in numbers, balancing checks. My insides however started to rot and break down.

Freaking out protocol involves emailing the circle of friends who never fail to Kiss the Boo Boo and Make it Mostly Better. That would be my wonderful friend in California who we call Auntie Mame, my local wonderful friend Organic and I emailed the giver of the homicidal pistils and staimins. Next Time, make it Roses, I said to him.

Now this is the cat who is basically the most annoying thing in my life. The bane of my existence. I have gotten sore throats yelling at her to get off the table, off the guinea pig cage (where she Lords over the poor little guy and swats at him, sending him wheeting into his wooden shelter) and to get away from the plants. I can't stand her most of the time. But. I'd NEVER get rid of her. She is family.

She tears through the house like a Budweiser Clydesdale on fire, for no humanly visible reason. She slithers around corners and targets open cups of water. I admit, there are times I chase her out of boredom just to see her do the rainbow arch with her back - I like to gage the moment she goes from arch into Dash!

She's a jerk, like a human. But she comes back after all the teasing and yelling with a love that is beyond human and she comes over deliberately and puts one paw out on my arm. It's all very direct, very much from her soul by using her eyes.

I called the vet in my contained panic and basically was told to watch and wait. Which is the definition of Doom. Doom never just suddenly hits - WHAM! Doom is an impending event. Something that eats you alive as you think about all of its faces and variables.

When I walked into the house that day, I called for my Wizard of Az and she came immediately, reporting for duty, SIR. That's Az. Forgives it all, thinks its always getting better. And acting perfectly fine. The cat is Rasputin.

The next morning as she did the morning tussle between my feet as I tried to walk into the kitchen, I only mock hated her as I fell against the wall, happy that I still have the cat who thinks she's a Reindeer, named Dasher.