Monday, September 29, 2008
They Don't Make Things The Way They Used To
Humanling and I went to the craft store for some jewelry supplies. I found something for her to make that seemed simple and easy. There were these little round tubes that you place on a plastic pegboard to create a pattern and then iron (whoops, didn't read that part - I don't have an iron and was going to use the curling iron). Being the anal Capricorn that she is, she read the package and told me that it had been Safety Tested and she seemed pleased with it.
As I did the dishes in the kitchen, I heard a sudden coughing and Humanling emerged, face beet red, eyes milking with Choke Tears. She couldn't speak and my mind thought of four things - get her outside closer to other neighbors who might know what to do, slap her on the back, ask if she can speak and hope for the best and....the faucet is still on - I'd better shut that off.
Once outside, she was able to talk. She had put one of those pieces in her mouth and swallowed. She's nine. I am hoping that this is the wildest thing she ever attempts.
She couldn't produce a reason as to Why this happened right away.
Until I heard her say with grave disappointment, "This product was NOT Safety Tested!!!"
Just call her Quality Control Inspector #13.
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14 comments:
Oh no! How scary! I'm so glad she's okay.
Now...let me get this straight...you don't have an iron?!! I am insanely jealous of how liberating that must be.
LOL!!! Thanks Momo! Its true...I don't own one.....I don't know why I don't look more battered than I do.
But yeah, you know how it is with the choking - your mind is in another time zone going to all these places during a very short event!
Overall, a very hilarious ending to a very scary situation. HL is the bomb.
The toy companies should be so grateful that she put her life at stake to validate their claims.
CHILE! You see the difference between cultures? That little display would have earned quite the ass-whuppin' in the halls of my family's estate (read; "the projects").
HL has no idea how lucky she is to have come into the world through you.
You must know (or maybe just trust?) that I'd never try to trivialize the Fear you must have felt. I'm just impressed with the gravitas of the HL to defuse you, the whole circumstance, in one easy sentence. A perfect, movie-moment sentence. Look closely at what you made.
She's inherited the Gift.
My tribe boys make me laugh out loud constantly. I love it!
Alan - I couldn't whup her - the neighbors were right there below our deck - and not the drug hazed Cant Dial the Cops Straight the First Time-Oh Wait We Don't Want to See the Cops neighbors. Times have a changed. My father could wither me in a glance, my mother caught me many a time, mid run, by my hair. Humanling is a lucky lucky gal to be raised in a society that will hear her "You hurt me" if I were to so much as swat her hiney without a smile.
But I wanted to disintegrate her. I wanted to roll her in a bowl full of WTF flour and fry her up for the ravens. I was pissed. After I knew she was fine.
FB - Oh I know you totally aren't trivializing it - shoot - I posted it like a comic. And that's what it is - it's all funny once that moment is over. Unless you know, the worst were to happen. Although someday when I die, I hope people can laugh about it.
And you're right FB - I see where her DNA is sparking my train of thought. She is becoming a very pushy but lovable me. And without her, I'd have nothing to write. =)
"I wanted to roll her in a bowl full of WTF flour and fry her up for the ravens."
aaaHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAHAAHAAAA!!!
If you speak aloud the way you write, I'm going to fight :doot: and Ned for your hand in marriage!!
A DUEL sirs!!!!!!
I'm much more likely to just assassinate you both.
Umm, philologically. I think genuine violence is a coward's path. And I also think it might sort of ruin the whole notion of wooing Shades, you know? I mean, a dangerous guy might be a little exciting, but a murderous one?
After Turdblossom, she needs someone Better.
In all seriousness, let's give the :dootster: a shot at the title - he saw her first. If he's out of the picture, well, I'd recommend X-raying your mail for a while.
Umm, philologically, of course.
Curses!
*twirls moustache*
I'll get you yet!
{Bored sigh...}
Alan. Get the suitcase. Time for The Plan.
Meet you at Penn Station for the trip south. Ned needs a spank.
Humanling is also very lucky in the fact that I do not enjoy any type of violence. I can't even eat animals. Sheesh.
i am so glad to hear humanling s okay :). i have an iron but its stowed away in the laundry room - far enough away i cant hear it calling. ever. i also have the same ironing board my grandmother bought me for my first apartment. my girls like to iron their clothes, though. every so often they leave it out for me to put away. :)
A spank? Hmmmm.
Hmmmmm.
Hmm.
This is perhaps the cutest could've-ended-in-disaster thing I've ever read.
Beyond adorable and needs to be watched like a hawk? I give you some serious credit.
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