Those Crazy Idol Rockers!

Wow! Who KNEW that a slow tempoed ballad really had a backstage pass into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame night? I will now have to revamp my entire knowledge of the music catalog.



Anyone who has read my blog realizes that I am quite possibly a teensy bit of a rabid David Cook fan. His opening Lack of Experiment with Duran squared's "Hungry Like the Wolf" was actually good contrary to everyone's Eh response. The problem here is that DC has gotten so highly anticipated week after week that his *not re-vamped* performance of Hungry Like the Wolf came off like Einstein putting together a 500,000 piece all black puzzle. Yeah, it'd be a big deal if someone else did it but the bar has been set too high now. The expectations from ADD America needs instant gratification. I however would be fine if David Cook got up and recited his ABCs. I'd dial in at least four times.



I think now that Syesha is the only female, she had to fill in the archetye of Brooke White and just allow the tear dam to erode very publicly. I never get why no matter what Syesha does, the judges seem to have some really bad secretive joke going on and tell her that "It was just a'ight for me, Dawg." She can outsing a mockingbird and she's like Spongebob on the episode where Squidward is the art teacher. Despite his perfectly drawn circles and carved statues, Squidward convinced him that basically he couldn't even defecate right. If she sings a Dolly/Whitney song and shatters windows, they would just slap her Whitney Touchin' wrists and hand her a broom for the glass fallout.



I no longer know what to say about Jason Casto except that for someone who was finally in his element, he imploded, taking the words to the Bob Dylan song with him. I'd have to say that the essence of Bob was not invoked. After the tour is over, he will have a promising career in Benetton billboard underwear ads.



And the adorable monchichi. I'nt he sweet? We all know that sweet things are not good for us in large quantities. So neither is this. He must only put out singles when its time to immortalize the charm - no remixes, no covers...in fact, no songs. Jingles. He can do jingles. And have someone sing them FOR him while they release him back to the Cute part of the jungle.



Meanwhile, Bo Bice will be helicoptered back to the Lynyrd Skynyrd part of the jungle. Bo looks like most of my ex boyfriends from my 20s. Something registered strange for me with David Cook standing in the background as part of the mandatory whole note clapping to a gratuitous Bo Bice solo. Almost like the Alpha Dog's bark being reduced to a momentary yap.



Down to the boot though. Jason Castro is the most jubilant of all those who have had to step down and wait for the tour to start. He seems quite happy and makes it difficult to feel bad for him. As I watch him give his final Idol words, it strikes me who he reminds me of - John Travola's Danny Zuko in Grease. If they ever shoot Grease 3 in Jamaica, Jason Castro, no doubt will be riding his surfboard in the main role.

Mmmm...Mmm! MeYOW ya'll!

This one is going to be short. No really. I am too capable!

I just have to divulge my bubbling hearts for David Cook. I have no problem enjoying the concept of American Idol. This season, I am so grateful there is DC. And no, its not a 'hot guy' thing. In fact, when I first saw him I thought he was rancid looking. He seemed to be so pale, showing off all kinds of vitamin and sun deficiencies. However, he had me at "Hello". Lionel Richie's "Hello". Duh-Duh-duh-Duh-Damn. He slowly allowed my heart to reopen to the dirty boy thing, which as long as its behind the glass on tv, is totally proper.

I don't usually have really good Idol vision. My original favorite this season was Danny Noriega. Wow. I said it out loud.

Is it just me or does David Archuletta sound like he had a Michael McDonald transplant? That boy is a monchichi in a Members Only jacket. I'll bet he has a bellybutton above the base of his spine where his tail fell off. I've nothing against the boy - he's adorable, but not derrrty sexy growling adorable, like of course, Danny Noriega. Kidding. Wanted to wake you up. Do I even have to fill in the blank there as to who that was really about? "Hello....Is it me you're panting for?"

Speaking of monkeys....

I really do like Paula Abdul a lot. I was all about Do-Do Ya Love Me when I was 18. But sometimes she reminds me of one of those robotic cymbal clapping monkeys when a contestant has performed. CLAP CLAP CLAP CLANG CLANG CLAP!

I must admit a small evil pleasure. Brooke is gone. It was like having a five sun planet. Brightness everywhere. No hiding from it. Its hard to believe she has even consummated her marriage.

Jason Casto just seems like a dude who washed up on the set from the parking lot of an Arby's. He just shows up, makes sleepy eyes at the viewers and keeps from falling over. His voice reminds me of a record player from the 70s, before people really really cared about bass. This boy really knows of some good sh*t. I'll bet he is good friends with Herb and has somehow found it in pill form to keep noteriety down.

I do rather miss the theme nights. They've chosen some tough and nonsensical mentors this season. I don't know why they don't just dig up Pavarotti and make them all sing his stuff next week. Or have Animal Sounds Imitation week. Neil Diamond just sort of reminded me of Neil Young with access to a bath. I know they are like apples and oranges but hey - I can't help what comparisons fill the slots in my mind.

Notice when the person who is going home is announced though. The girls previously would hug that person, let the person exiting stage left run their noses on their shoulder. When Brooke was announced as going home the other night, Syesha completely filled her Girl Requirements as Brooke probably reknit Syesha's shirt in saliva and snot alone. However, David Cook and Jason Castro moseyed over and immediately just sort of kept a two foot distance while shoving both hands in their pockets. Please don't make me have to hug her. This fabric stains.

And on that note, both the litter box and guinea pig cage have been cleaned. My garbage is now a total threat that must be dealt with. OCD baby. Clean hands, clean hands.