One is the Whatever I Feel Like Doing Number

I have gone probably the longest amount of time without speaking today. I partially attribute this to having taken my brother's three kids earlier today along with my very own. Two of those three are 10 year old twins. The other one is my 1 1/2 year old nephew. The twins don't have blood in their bodies. They have strawberry nestle quik. And they ask too many questions. I am overcompensating for much chatter. But alas, I thought it would be pretty cool to take them all out and test my positive energy threshold.

All in all it went well. Except for one positive energy vacuum void during a diaper change.

After dropping their dirty faces off (whatever happens at a park, it always involves a dirty face no matter how old you are. Grandparents leave looking like they've been high fived in the face by Ash Wednesday ) I then dropped my own very cherished Humanling off to stay with her grandparents for the night.

Ahhhhhh. Now I was exhausted. And childless. I drove through the McDonald's drive through for my Cheeseburger Without the Meat, extra onion & extra pickle. I parked outside of Borders. And called my mom. She needed to know that my sister in law should never have a bad word said about her again. I know the job that she has - and only by a moment. I am happy with the job that I have. I wish to never switch positions with her. Even though I was the one parked outside of Borders with my car off and eating a cheese sandwich off the dollar menu. I half heartedly ask her if she wanted to see a movie tonight (no). The last movie we saw together was atrociously severe - one of the spawn movies off the 9-11 tragedy.

I mentioned before - I'm on Match.com. I've had over 3200 viewings since January. But there is something in me that isn't interested enough. I have a few BC numbers that are now getting dusty from non use. And maybe one really good guy friend that I could call up. I'd rather see a movie alone. It's on my list of things to do before .... whatever. Before I can't. Before they take down every movie theatre ever and we have brain chips in which to pass them through our entertainment psyche. I've written down the movie times for two movie possibilities - 21 or The Other Boleyn Girl.

I decided to head into Borders. In my quest to be thrifty, I see books that I like at Borders, write them down or take a photo of them, go home and put them on my Amazon.com wish list, then check my local library to see if they have a copy. If they do, I reserve it. If they don't, I check the bigger town over and if they have it, request it. Then I pick it up and go to Borders and read it. Which is what I did tonight. I am going to get my Borders Reward Card bar code tattooed on my forearm. I spend a lot of money on drinks there.

I chose a few magazines, a large photo book of Scotland and of course, my library book before getting my drink and settling in. I still had a good four hours before the movie I ended up choosing to go to would start. On my way in, a young, bald guy with glasses passed me. He turned around to give me another look. I smiled and kept looking really hot while checking out the Bargain Books. Nothing is hotter than standing in front of the Bargain Book section. Except walking in with your free library book.

As I sat eating the whipped cream off my drink and looking through a magazine, the young bald guy was now standing in the middle of a couple of tables, mine included. He then asked if anyone was sitting with me (nope, just me and this ghost!). Now I noticed that he looked a lot younger than before. He made small talk as he grasped the edges of the plastic wrap on his chocolate covered graham cookie. His hands shook. I remember at these times that Jesus could be disguised as anyone. He told me that he was in college. I guessed him at 23. Nope, he is 20. And a Taurus. I think Hitler was a Taurus. He quivered as he stuffed the cookie unapologetically into his mouth, creating a sporadic watersprinkle of crumbs on his side of the tiny table. He said he was into pinups, like the 50s type thing as far as art was concerned. I asked him how school was going and he conveyed that it wasn't going well, adding that he was doing too much partying. Ah, so the partying is what was causing his right eye to suddenly open wider than any eye is equipped to. Just the one eye. While his eye would hit auto-wide status, I would be remembering Jesus and wondering how I would be alone again with my personal components of normalcy. How was this man going to leave my life? He was trying really hard, I must admit. He asked if I had an apartment or house, if I was married and what I was doing tonight. He kept looking behind him like that one guy did from Match.com. I finally had to ask what up with the turning around. He said he was looking for his ride. Finally his cell phone rang and it was his ride. I looked 15 feet behind him and saw his mom fold close her cell phone, smiling.

At this point, I took out my "How Starbucks Saved My Life" book and decided that I'm going to put it out there for someone to contact me when they figure out how to be a Vampire. Mostly invisible amongst the mortals, while spending my nights immersed in the arts. I want to be immortal and read for all of eternity. I want to always be one step ahead of that library due date. It's okay to notice, smile or want me. Just don't speak to me. Not tonight.

Eventually I decided to stretch out and walk a bit around the store. A book of 'inspirational' poems caught my eye. They were basically poems to Father from Daughter. My heart did a cannonball into a dry pool. For Father's Day last year, I'd given my father a get-to-know-you type book since we've never been terribly close. Instead of putting on a smile and lying to me in front of everyone, he decided to laugh like an executive and let us all know what a piece of crap that book was - preposterous that I would even think he'd fill it out and give it back to me. I think his words were something like, "I'm not doing this s**t!"

I looked further and smiled slightly at another title in front of me that would fit him perfectly - Cooking with Beer.

I'd finally decided that I would see my first time ever solo movie. "The Other Boleyn Girl" was my choice and I was assured by the cashier who sold me my one ticket, that it was awesome. She saw it twice.

I gave my ticket to the boy who rips it in half. He had to radio down to make sure the theatre was done being spiffied up. I was the first one in. I took in the view of all the seats in the room, knowing that I had my pick. How many times can you really say that? Yeah, maybe there are three people in there when you get there early but that's three less seats for you to choose from! The book geek that I am, I chose the brightest seat. The one under the projector. I pulled out a cook book that I'd bought at Borders to see what I might shape my grocery list by. Eventually my Starbucks book came back out and I finished a lot more while waiting for the movie to start.

The movie was fabulous. I wasn't expecting it to be about what it eventually turned out to be. And to be honest, I expected more heaving bosoms than was actually shown. Any possible visual of eroticism was taken from f*ck to Fudge. I have an even newer found appreciation for the family I was born into - we are pains in the arses, well, THEY are - but we don't have those kind of Boleyn type problems, thanks be to God and all the angels that ever gave me a kind word.

I walked out of there, happy to put a mental line across one of those things on "The List". (WARNING - Possible Spoiler if You Haven't Seen the Movie!) But after seeing two beheadings, it was bizarre not to be able to talk through it with someone else, just to pronunciate the heebie jeebies and get on with the shiny vibes again.

Shiny vibes it is....and I am getting ready to mail them off with the zip code to wherever my nightly dreams are so they'll already be there when I get there in just a bit.

Tonight was awesome. Tomorrow will be too, as soon as I can be reunited with my busy, constantly talking, Humanling.