Match? Dot Com

I am so not ashamed to admit that I currently have a subscription to Match.com. (I'm also not ashamed of my insertion of 'so' wherever I see fit...even if I'm not young enough to anticipate Working Papers.) It simply means that I'm too busy to Live and Learn in the relationship sector of my Cake chart right now (I like cake better than pie). If the vibe of the information doesn't stroke my feathers the right way, I don't have to respond. And no wonder I use Match....I've got feathers.
Assuming that all the serial killers will identify themselves in their profiles , the only other worry really is just Horrible Men Period. (My mother believes that every profile out there is really the handiwork of men who torture and dismember their dates right after the greeting handshake.) Basically, as the men have to do with us women, Match.com is profile after profile of most likely, someone else's previous headache with walking papers.

Me, being one of them.

For instance, will those who fall in the 'psychopathic possessive' category have in their Interests, something to the extent of - "Looking for a woman who has a hot figure, beautiful clothes and is willing to degrade to Dog status to appease my little ego. Must dump her clothes off at the Salvation Army and then invest in One Size Fits All Art Smocks to wear in public. Must not draw attention to herself by wearing furry red gloves in the winter time, or drop anything. If you drop things, don't reply to this profile, because that means you will need to bend down to get them and I can't really handle people staring at the small of your back. And no, don't get a tattoo there with my name on it to make me feel better because people will still be all kinds of getting off on an inch of your skin." Ha ha, and I bet you think I made that up.

These people really do exist.

In fact, they could save many hopefuls gas money in avoiding that first date by posting Black Box warnings on some of these profiles. Who needs hands on research? Leave that to the exes. They've done all the legwork. Probably in the form of drop kicking.
I won't knock the whole thing though. It's an interesting experience, no doubt.
One of my favorite hits was a man who wrote me an email and asked me to check out his profile. Which clearly stated No Vegetarians. I wrote him back to ask him to reread my profile. Anyone who is going to check me out on MySpace, Facebook, Match.com, etc is probably going to be hit with that first since its a big part of my life.

Have I dated a veg? Not really. I mean, I went out on A (Read: A = One so far) date with a veg, who brought wonderful gifts. A rose for me (we don't kill animals. Just flowers.) and a mini veggie buffet in a baggie for my guinea pig. The cat got nothing, but I'm sure that's because stuffing a fish into my purse for a few hours would have negative consequences.
So follow me on my journey (for the most part.....you'll have to buy the book for the kiss and tells) to see who these men of Match are. I don't have a lot of time to date and I must say, I'm not looking for a boyfriend. So what better place to be than a dating site!!! What can I say - it seemed like fun at the time! Really Match will either serve your purpose of getting each other's insurance benefits, or else it'll allow you to at least know that Cesar likes to kayak down the front stairs of the State Capitol before you decide he'll be on the mutual BC list.

Well it's getting late (although not nearly as late as it was the night I concocted my Match profile) and High School Musical 2 is nearly over. For the 923rd time. For real, Zac Efron has the most sincere sad and frazzled expressions since Elijah Wood in every Lord of The Rings.
Not only that but my adorable little man, Ricci (my guinea pig) is probably wheet wheeting for a little leafy somethin somethin!