Being a single mama though, usually my days are reserved for anything with a hair of Humanling attached to it. I decided a couple of days ago that the Fall of 2008 was not going to pass me by without me being carried along the wind for a day. All alone.
My friends at work asked what I would do. And as I told my friend, Ham (she sits across from me and Humanling actually named her months ago), I am going hiking and to Borders.
So I went out to breakfast and used the outdoor seating, with a view of fading flowers, my hot coffee cup warming my hands. I read, ate and gloriously sipped my coffee. After all, I had all day.
I said I was going hiking. Alone. That meant I had to now. Silly me, a small framed female, hiking alone. But I did it anyway. My intuition has been telling me that I need to be still and sit outside in meditation. And its been saying that for awhile. That's all possible but Humanling hones in on the exact moment that I crave silence and decides to share with me every possible word, letter, thought, dream, Christmas list and bodily function that she can think of. And I'm glad. It's her job. She should be manager by now.
Don't get me wrong, I Double Heart my job as parent. It's the best thing that I do. And even though its for a lifetime, I only get so many untainted moments before friends, boyfriends and gangsters take over and move me to the back of the family portrait. Right now, I am IT. So pass me the relish.
Making tracks. I arrived at the park. I've been going here for over fifteen years. My second failed marriage took place here. Drunk nights of falling asleep on the grass with snacks and a roll of toliet paper nearby may have happened here. Along with a couple of Discovery Channel You and Me Baby Ain't Nothing But Mammals moments.
It's safe then, right? This place knows me enough, right?
So I arrived. Time to crunch through.
This is the kind of day it was - look at the sky. Gorgeous.
Just kidding. That's my backyard.
No it's not.
Then I saw one of these. I hadn't seen this in a LONG time. And ended up seeing four of them.
Who wouldn't turn five in a flash?! I HAD to pet it.
And immediately caused anguish and anxiety and the need to play dead. It curled up and refused to move. Like the Charlie Brown Christmas tree, I nearly killed it with my Walmart grade Midas touch.
You can't hike without a good pair of rock gripping hiking boots.
So apparently I will be going shopping to get some. Because I feel like Peg Bundy tottering around in the woods in these. And yes, I have big feet. Size eight.
I got to sit around, near the water....trying to live up to that l'artiste image is tough when you work for The Man. Tilt Head, summon the wind, deep breath......too effing awesome.
Further in is a tree you can lie down on since its tilted down toward the water. Laying on the tree, I took this shot.
Observe....for more than a few moments I put away one of my Top Three fears - a bird crapping on my head - and took a rest while looking up at the view.
Another one of my friends at work, who will need a new filter between her brain and her mouth for her next birthday, exclaimed "Be careful of bears!"
I've never thought about bears in all my years of hiking there.
Until I was deep enough in the woods today. Because surely if they are in her backyard (she just had to fill me in on that), they are on this planet and in these woods that I am alone in. I thought about the chocolate coconut health bar that was recommended to me by the doctor's staff at my naturopath's office yesterday. I had one on me. I started thinking what I would do if I saw a bear. In desperation throw a health food bar at it. Which it would swallow while chasing me.
I couldn't stop thinking about this bear that would be around the next corner. The Law of Attraction heard me. It heard the gears starting to turn. And responded with a warning. Keep thinking about it and the next thing Will be a bear.
I don't know if you can see it but I am smushing his head with my fingers. And I am not dragging a body on the right side - that's my Trader Joe's bag filled with one dangerous to bears health food bar and five books.
Speaking of not seeing the forest for the trees....I then didn't see the forest OR the trees because I was busy running like prey past the snake and for about a full minute beyond....all while checking the ground for more snakes hidden under leaves, and bears that were going to hop down from the pine trees and maul me.
