Today was a mostly nice work from home day. I find myself wishing for someone to dump buckets of gatorade on my boss at times. Not for celebratory purposes. Just to dump gatorade with 4 buckets of ice on him so that his attention is diverted solely to his own momentary crisis. Sometimes I think he is checking stocks all day long and once in a while emailing his staff about what else they can cram into eight hours.
"Nowadays, who has time to search for all these classics?" That's right James Lehman. I sure don't. Thanks for pointing that out to me. Maybe I would have time if my boss took a red dye #40 bath and stopped emailing me.
Boy, that BJ Thomas sure was a fancy number in his swaying black fringed vest! Whooo!!!
Damn. Just put the laptop on my lap and guess what. I have to stretch to reach the beer.
Some of these songs are so old that the vocalists are using those long, silver microphones that remind me of lollipops.
Kenny Rogers. *A moment please*.
Man I love him.
Now onto a thing I don't love. Reckless driving. I hate driving reckless when it is because there is a spider on my arm that I don't believe I've ever seen before and can't identify it as "cute". This bothers me so much that my mind goes all Single Focus and my driving becomes the Family Circus Dot Path. This may have happened today. Normally I am the person threatening to cut off friendships if someone even breaks one leg of a spider. But while driving, I ended up all over the road, while thankfully some majorly busy Angels re-considered the timing of their smoke break. (Thanks guys!) All while smashing my arm into the door hoping to 'jar' Mr. Eight Creepy Ones off my arm. I didn't care where it went, just not crawling toward my bare hand after reaching the last safe millimeter of thread that was my sleeve. I wasn't trying to hurt it but finally I saw it sitting very still on the arm rest of my door. I prayed for a red light and in getting one, unceremoniously flung open the door and blew on the creature until he air lifted out of my car and onto the grassy median. Oh had I mentioned that I was in the left lane on the connector doing about 65? I did see him moving once he hit the ground so am hoping that no real damage was done. That will end up costing me in heaps of guilt. I'm already feeling bad that I didn't wait until I got somewhere like a yard instead of a median. Now unless he decided to relocate and flourish in the median grass, he would try to get somewhere better and be hit by a car. It's at least five hours later and I can't think of much else. Unless Kenny Rogers comes back on.
So a quick word to the spider: I am so sorry. I'm sure you can understand, a rather giantesque creature like me freaking out when you land on me. But to put it in perspective, when my guinea pig, Yuki, nibbles my finger to figure out if I have food for him when I don't, I don't get mad at him. I try to understand where he's coming from. So, just realize that you are one of the most powerful creatures on earth, bringing grown men to squeals of horror and hovering on tops of couch corners. I hope you found a nice spot there in the median. Enjoy your summer ~ and um, I see where I went wrong on the relocation strategy. I will think of you every time the "Gambler" by Kenny Rogers comes on.
