I had a dream this morning. I was on a boat, the kind with a roof and a board meeting room. The host was a black gay congressman with gray hair at the temples, a really fat white psychic who had a smaller head but huge hair like That Girl and was wearing a blue and purple mumu-ish thing, only better fabric (not acquired in the walmart mumu section).
There happened to be a baby on my lap of about 6 months. He had really light blonde hair and blue eyes. The waves started coming and a big one rocked the boat pretty hard so I asked the Honey…"can you swim with a baby?"
He said yes.
So I said "Good, because I can’t."
Then we were touring the bottom of the boat and I was still toting around this baby. I looked at Honey and said “I don’t remember being pregnant. How did that happen?”
“You ate those leaves for breakfast”, he replied.
“Oh”. And then I said...
“I don’t remember giving birth”
Honey gave no answer, just a grin.
Then he had the baby and sort of tossed it down in a chair and it was like a doll suddenly and it’s head went back, mouth open and it wasn’t hurt but I gasped really loud and pointed so he quickly fixed it upright.
Before I went to bed last night I had a slight querelle regarding Cheese doodles. C'est vrai.
I mentioned something about the deliciously unhealthy cheese snack that I was shoveling into my mouth from the bag. I called it 'cheese doodles'. I was corrected because that's how Honey is. He can't miss a single Correction Train. So he said, "cheese doodles?" So I verified that yes, I am eating cheese doodles. He informed me that cheese doodles are the puffy things, NOT the crunchy things that I had.
I asked if he really needed to correct that. He went on further to say that I shouldn't be so sensitive and that by me saying that, I was trying to change him because I am uncomfortable with what he says. I said that I didn't enjoy constant unsolicited corrections and isn't that trying to change someone? And furthermore....did he really not know that the things that I was referring to in the conversation were the things that I was eating and not something else? Did it really need correcting? Did he realllllllly not know what I meant?
Hmmm.....
Then comes silence, Steven Colbert and a strange dream with waves.
