A Banana Catastrophe

Zowie and Zoiks! This is my 401st post!  I had no idea. Although putting into perspective, it certainly feels like I wrote more than barely a year's worth of posts.  

It is advanced hot here.  Kyyo the piggie is getting spoiled I think.  He seems to enjoy the water via syringe from Mama rather than drink out of his water bottle.  Maybe it's all the extra attention and cuddling being equated with it now.

Well I had to tell the child tonight the truth.  It's hot out.  When your boobs grow bigger, you'll find pools of sweat under them when it's hot.  She wasn't thrilled to obtain this information but I thought someone should warn her.  I think it's great to make light of it all now in order to keep the Priss Factor low later on.

What was the last CD that I bought you ask?  It seems that Starbucks has been my Virgin Megastore lately.  I picked up the new Fiona Apple cd and I love it.  And I hate her because she pinpointed all my innermost feelings and broke them down with such rawness and simplicity and poetry that I wish I wrote the whole damn cd.  She hits these ugly, naked notes in "Regret" that just bring tears to my eyes.  And she doesn't care how unpolished it might sound.  It works.  It totally works.  Of course she sounds polished in most other places and has an amazing, rich voice so she can afford to wear the granny panties for a song or two.  

The wedding this weekend proved to be a great time.  Oh there was a hairy moment on the way down....Flip's mom was driving and let me say she's a wonderful woman with a big heart.  However, her distractibility factor is high.  In watching the GPS on the highway at 65 mph, she didn't see the blaring red brake lights in front of us.  Not as in a Slow Down.  As in a Dead Stop.    I quickly realized that she wasn't going to either so I tapped her arm silently but with purpose.  

Well during all of this, Flip was in the back and had been sitting behind my seat the entire time, which had been nearly 90 minutes.  He'd finally taken out a banana to peel and scooted over to the middle to enjoy the air conditioning and deal with the intricacies of peeling fruit.  Suddenly the car screeched and his mom pulled us into the middle lane (without verifying if anyone was coming and thankfully it worked out) and we skidded to a stop.  After I pulled myself upright from my flattened out position in my J Lo dress, I saw that we were all ok.  Flip then told us that he lost the top half to his banana.  We couldn't find it up front and said so.  He remarked that it must be up front because of the banana smear on the radio.  Well this started us rolling.  Sure enough, the missing banana half was under the gas pedal.  His mom and I broke out into laughter many times that day due to the banana incident.

Although we had a good time, are we solved?  No, not nearly.  It will take awhile of consistent behavior on his end to convince me that I am not doing most of the reaching out and attempts to be together in person although we live a few minutes down the road from each other.  I don't see why it's so difficult and he otherwise tells me how much he hearts me, etc.  Confusing call, eh kids?

Yes I Would Like Your Hot Knife

I am a creature of bullheadedness.  I decided that I absolutely must be comfortable sitting here, as I do nightly, on my air mattress.  This entails having all of the essentials close by.  One of those for tonight is a glass of that Brooklyn Summer Ale that I have to finish.  One so broke cannot afford to laugh at the last three beers as they are poured down the drain.  Instead, one tries in vain to balance it on a newspaper section of all things, on top of the mattress.  It worked for a little bit.  Then it didn't.  The blanket smells like beer now (but it's the side that the kid sleeps on usually - that'll be a fun story to tell the school when she comes in smelling like booze).  The beer itself is perched on top of a hardback notebook on top of the mattress now.  One should not have to reach away from the keyboard too far.

The morning started off rather well here.  I offered to bring some banana blueberry bread to Flip this morning on my way to work.  I don't know what I exactly expected when I got there.  But the hug felt wonderful in between moments of the dog shoving his snout in our crotches.  And the kisses were sweet.  He wasn't feeling well but asked if I may be able to stop on my way home from work and "spend time" with him (quotes are mine.  He did not air quote.)  That's ok.  I just need to get in the door and have some time.  I can usually do the rest.  

So for all of my stumbling and ankle turning in my heels in the grass this morning, spilling coffee all over myself with a CLOSED lid, I would get to have some closeness with him at the end of the work day.  The traffic vanished, lights were green all the way and I sang in key (maybe) all the way to work.  At one point I even had a synchronized circus moment with a chipmunk.  In my defense, I thought it was a brown leaf in the road.  I didn't see what it really was until I was about to straddle it with the tires.  It didn't move until I passed over it and then it ran to wherever Chipmunk Silliness happens. 

The day itself was filled with the scenery from any Disney movie in a happy moment.  Singing birds, brilliant colors, birds giving me sashes and lots of giddy laughter.  

We hired a temp who is fun and smart.  He's married, 28 and anxious to work hard.  He's a Gemini....a trait that I never used to find interesting in anyone (sorry Gems....I'm a Scorpio...it seems to be a natural resistance for me).  In later years I started collecting a few and can call them people that I talk to from time to time and Step Dad.  We have this robot mail cart that shows up outside of our glass doors and beeps to signify that someone better get their tight ass out there and do a mail swap.  Take what's yours and insert outgoing mail into the bin.  It follows a track that is in the rug.  Our new guy was taught the mail dance by someone else on the team other than moi.  Today he told me that instead of stopping outside the door obediently as a robot is wont to do, it kept going.  Our boy had to follow the robot and do the mail exchange as it dashed off in slo-mo away from him.   I asked him simply, "Why didn't you just hit the stop strip?" 

"What stop strip?"

Apparently he was not taught how to make our mailbot stop and go by simply touching the red or green strip.  I fell apart laughing, imagining him chasing the robot down the hall.

It was the little things such as this that took my head out of the anticipation of the afternoon. I got the go ahead to leave early.  Yessir, that's right...a late nooner...may I go?

Flip and I sent each other songs.  I sent him the new Fiona Apple song, "Hot Knife".  I told him it reminded me of him.  He wrote back that it reminded him of me after listening.  

"If I'm butter - if I'm butter- 

If I'm butter, then he's a hot knife, 
He makes my heart a cinemascope, 
He's showing the dancing bird of paradise. 

He excites me 
Must be like a genesis of rhythm 
I get feisty 
Whenever I'm with him "

Ahhhh...yes....that magnetism distracting me, pulling me again so that I can momentarily wipe out all the gunk and pretend it never happened, just let me near him.  

His love bite to send back was Willie Nelson, "Just Breathe".  

                                                                    "Stay with me,..

You're all I see.

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn't now I'm a fool you see,..
No one knows this more than me.

As I come clean."

Was this for me?  Was he just showing me a song he likes or was this a messenger?  I've got the double X chromes baby, I'm going with message.