While working from home, I had the precious luck of a phone call from the school nurse within an hour after the child left for school. Sick kid. Please retrieve.
You wonder to yourself when these things happen, what am I in for today? Tell the blood pressure to stay normal...no biggie. And so it was.
However, as Humanling recouped from her morning of intestinal woes, which really weren't too bad at home, but would have been devastating to drag around school, she put on comfort TV. For me, comfort TV is the Food Network, Rachel Ray, old movies with old stars such as Fred Astaire, Joan Crawford, Claudette Colbert, Clark Gable, Marilyn Monroe, etc, Christmas specials, the Fashion channel, etc. These are things that keep my mind in a pleasant place, because when you're not feeling well, the last thing you need is excitement. I remember when I used to live with Flip, he'd inevitably put on loud ass movies with men who must have had magazines to hold 900 bullets and wanted to shoot them all out at once. There was always violence, loudness, bloody type shouting....whatever. I tried asking a few times nicely if it could be turned down since I had t go to sleep, but then he told me that I was trying to control him. Forget even saying "but I have to work tomorrow" because as he was jobless, I was told that thought that I was "better than" him. Sheesh. Exit Tangent.
So for Humanling, that Comfort mode would be something from her younger days. Dora the Explorer. Only worse, it was a Christmas special. And yes, I'm aware that Christmas Specials are on my own list. As she nodded off I left it on since even unconscious, the comfort vibe would still surround her. However, I was trying to work and was wracked by many a detail in this special.
First....kids cartoons these days have a lot of loud and high pitched voices. Is it that my ears are morphing and have obtained the super sensitivity of a wolf? Am I now a Get Off My Lawn elder? WTF with these? Were our cartoons infused with these ear piercing eunuchs too?
Dora asks us who likes to swipe. Two fold answer - an adult doesn't *like* to swipe. If they are swiping it means they don't have enough to take care of the home needs and have to do a Community Borrow. Or....if they are employed, as in my situation, 1990 is calling us home to go back to this Big Brother tactic. Swiping, especially after years of not swiping, means the company is cutting costs down to the minute and is avoiding sliding into Corporate Armageddon.
Dora is doing a disservice to minorities in this segment. Both as a female and as a Mexican. She states in a tone of helplessness that Swiper is knocking over the Christmas tree. Bitch, please. You are from Mexico. You have your choice of high powered guns in which 95% of them have been traced back to the US (good job, Swiper!). And yet you don't even have a squirt gun to stun that conniving SOB Fox from getting into the tree. If Dora was truly legit, you'd find a headless fox hanging from a remote cactus somewhere along the border.
By the end of this mind sucker, Swiper is supposed to have stopped pilfering right in front of our faces as he always does, and has taken on altruism. Do the writers not realize how confusing this is going to be for kids when on the very next viewed episode of Dora the Explorer, he's back to his old felony tainted ways without so much as a validated response to the Christmas spirit that everyone saw him partake in?
This is what happens when you leave me alone with this sort of stuff. My mind goes all Mystery Science Theater.
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