Well now that joy has spread from the edge of one continent to another, we need to get to more pressing issues.
Humanling and I are huge on pilates and yoga. Ok, she loves the pilates more than the yoga but the two of us love to point out that Rodney Yee is "a man wearing a tiny little bathing suit" in some of the preview scenes of our DVD. I may or may not have Become A Fan on Facebook.
This leads to a question that I saw on About.com today. Read on and be perplexed no more:
I always seem to be farting in yoga class. Is there anything I can do?
Passing gas while practicing yoga is actually very common (prenatal yoga classes are the worst!). You're moving your body in ways that will stir up your guts, which is a good thing. We're all adults here, and farting is perfectly natural. I say, gauge the mood of the class and act accordingly--just like you would at, say, a cocktail party. If the class is light-hearted and casual, you might humorously acknowledge your emission. If the teacher and students are dead serious, pretend that nothing untoward has occurred. And maybe think about skipping those beans at lunch next time.
*****
Well the problem here is that I didn't have About.com, nor did Al Gore really super invent the internet in 1995 like he has recently. So when my friend Mike and I were in yoga class once night, the teacher brought it down to an advanced sort of quiet. We had our eyes closed, we were breathing. And then I heard someone's auditory invasion of the silence. Although it wasn't my own personal mission emission, I became a source of the worst kind of embarassment. I could not hold it in any longer, I literally burst out laughing. Eyes closed, meditation still attempting to go on with severed limbs, poked out eye sockets, and a cotton puff to fight with. You guys know how it is. The more I tried to stifle, the worse it got. The sound of this abrupt reality snatcher kept looping through my mind and I tried valiantly to shake in silence.
Only to bust out laughing again. Even as I post the photo for this blog, I am giggling like a pimply, awkward boy.
I swear I never snuck a peek either to see who it was. It probably would have made subsequent classes a lesson in history repeating itself. Ha ha...get it?
11 comments:
you made me spill my coffee all over my keyboard. roflmao
LOL!!!!
I thought it was only me! Though I have never actually umm broke the silence (auditory or olfactory) in yoga, there have been times when I thought I would die with the pain. Like a Sela monster awoke inside.
I'm still laughing.
Thank you so much, honey, for your lovely and warm comment on my blog! I appreciate it and the hugs (especially the stolen one from HL) :)Hugs back! :)
too funny! try being the teacher and having to stifle your laughs. there are two truisms in life one is that you fart in yoga and two is that farts are ALWAYS funny. I have been with my husband 12 years and I still always laugh when he farts. If everyone laughed all the time maybe we wouldn't all be so embarrassed. now in yoga you have learned the lesson of no egos.
*snicker*
you are hilarious. I totally would have been giggling too!
OH MY GOD you made me crack up. Annie is spilling coffee, I have vodka. I was in yoga class one Sunday (recently I have missed a bunch of classes due to the fact that I am shoveling instead of going to yoga these past few Sundays) when someone had the worst gas. No one made a peep, so I dared not made a sound, but I wanted to bust out laughing. I am sure I sneered I remember being in a Pre-Natal class and making the loudest fart ever. Man, I thought I blew the roof off.
Larry and I always make comments when one of us farts. Such is human nature, and there is much to be said about laughter. Except when they smell bad. One reason I can't eat uunagi (eel) anymore. KILLER. xxxxxxxxxp
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHAHAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
And HHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHAH to the comments too! You all know what's going to happen now, don't you?!! Even the yoga instructor?!!
Oh my God, I never imagined!!!
And I love to hear that you ladies laugh at yer husbands blasts!!
Oh, can I please please ask you--what about the FIRST time your husbands (maybe they were your boyfriends or fiancees by this time) ripped one!? And what about the first time YOU did?!
I swear I need to know!! This has been haunting me for more than thirty years!! I've been terrified of the idea!! Help me, ladies!!
BTW, Shades, you are the rockingest. Lovely Lady Reality with a dash of flash, chased with a killer wit!
I came around checking to see if our favorite Scorpio didn't pass out with all the farting!
Then I find Alan's comment. Of course I will answer.
You will be surprised how many women have actually never farted or pooped in front of their husbands! Not even in the bathroom, if he is the vicinity. Talk about anal. :) teehee sorry.
I don't fart in people's presence if I can help it. If I can't, I generally yell SOOOORRRRRRRRRY as they say in Jamaica, "Let fart be free!" :)
Genie, I know, right?! How is it that spouses will go into the bathroom and brush their teeth while the partner is sitting on the bowl straining and plopping?!? And they'll have a common ol' conversation, "Early to work?" "Nah. Want me to bring home milk?" "Got a ton already in the fridge. But Junior needs a lift afterschool to get to ballet." "I can do that." PPPLPLLLLPLPLPLHGHHHH!!
UCKKK!!
You're right Alan. I for one am not at my finest then. I generally close and lock the door. Dude, you mind? :)
Where is our hostess? I miss you Ms Scorpio! :)
Little late on this but I can certainly attest - this lady does not do the Fart Game with anyone except my own kids. Humanling has enjoyed many a good "Here. That's for you." or "How's that for a surprise?" but when with a mate, I'd suck the universe up my own black hole before expelling gas. It just doesn't happen.
And btw - you guys are all so funny - I loved the comments from this one! See? We all love farts (when we can't smell them).
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