Ugggghhhh......
I don't care if you make it to work every day and are responsible. Or that you are not a job hopper and the serial number of your desk has followed you for the last ten or more years. Or that all your animals/kids/friends or beta fish is always fed on time. If you ever catch yourself saying after something you find extremely pleasurable, "Oh God. Please make this go away and I promise I won't touch it tomorrow, this week, ever again" then chances fall into favor of abusing something other than large salads.
That's me tonight. That's right, take a good look at my font. Pointing and laughing is unnecessary but I understand if you must. I would too.
I promised Humanling a celebratory pick from the local bakery in the center of town, where we now live. We've never frequented this place before and needed an excuse to try it. Our cheap excuse is simply our new move, which I won't pretend isn't a big hurrah, Everybody in da House Say Yeah and Throw Your Hands in the Air type incident.
We walked down to O'Neil's (TWO apostrophes....can I do that? A possessive Irish surname?) for breakfast, which was fabulous. The coffee was just perfect. It was so far from Dunkin Donuts and their syrupy flavors that taste robotic enough to clean your grout AND tell you a story. It was just....ahh....reminded me of that first sip of coffee when I worked in NYC. After breakfast it was time for the Bakery Walk.
I got nervous that I would need to give dibs on my 401K once I saw that there were no prices listed anywhere. A pound of leaf shaped cookies with the chocolate inside for the low price of your 2002 Saturn with an oil change? I think the dude was offended that I even had to ask out loud what I would be forking over. His demeanor told me that he was not the guy to stick behind the counter during Sunday church crowds, however, he was indeed there. So this told me that the goods were prime.
Humanling chose a cinnamon bun. No one makes cinnamon buns smaller than a goat's head these days. I have no room in my new apartment for this cinnamon bun. I decided to get two *cute* sized cannolis for myself. I received my second dirty look when I asked if they take plastic for $3.80 (I dropped the cash habit when I shacked up with my debit card). We left before I'd get the third and final dirty look which I'm sure would cast out some sort of tornado, geyser or other natural disaster right behind it.
Fast forward to tonight, after dinner, after my drive across town for the whipped cream that perches upon the peppermint mocha elixir, and after one cannoli down already. I scarfed down my second cannoli and then heated up HL's bun. Being that the two of us could fit on and ride it like a flying carpet, I decided against my better judgment and thought I'd better eat half of it for her. We then went for our newly hatched nightly ritual of walking downtown. This is when the cinnamon bun showed very bad customer service and started punching the insides of my stomach. I was not impressed. However, within the hour, I was impressed with my body because it bounced said bun straight out the back door without ever letting its feet touch the dance floor.
It was most definitely a Gameboy night. Gameboy is part of the glue for my unravelings. I stood outside on the deck trying not to think about anything sugar related. And trying to pop that turtle in Mario Brothers without it hitting an obstacle that sends it coasting back to my MarioOrLuigi and diminshing my size or destroying my turn. If I said anything at all out loud during this time, it would sound like the script for anyone who has gone one shot too many with their addiction. "God please, help me get through this. I won't have any ______ tomorrow. I will never do this again. I see that it was so stupid and I shouldn't have done it." In my case, it's sugar, so I had to add that I would only have it in my coffee. Because while your stomach is flipping out, you have to think nine steps ahead and remember how your coffee is an equal opportunity employer and the discrimmination of sweetners does not happen in your world.
I am of course sitting here praising God, left right and center. I have been able to enjoy moments since without my Gameboy. Life is sweet. Ack! NO - not SWEET.....!
