As I write tonight, I am surrounded by the good folks from Time Life who are playing an infomercial on the Carol Burnett show and a tiny little animal who is kneading things. I don't even think she will lie down. She kneads and then when that piece of blanket/leg/floor is ripe enough, she moves on to another spot.
This weekend I shook it up a bit. I went out and got myself a hangover. Well, why not. The kid is 13 now and knows how to let me sleep for a bit while doing a floor puzzle. A friend of mine was having a housewarming party. And for people our age, it means what it meant 20 years ago. Drank! Lots of drank! And for those who so wish, Other.
Many of the people going were friends of my first husband as well so I threw it out there...you wanna go? I also threw out there that should he find a person flirt worthy while there, PLEASE DO, help yourself. I wanted to be sure that this wasn't going to be taken in any way as a date. He's been dry for about seven months. He just *can't*. It would send him into the spiral that has been his life for about 25 years now. He assured me that he'd be fine....would pick up some of that fabby NA brew that people drink sometimes.
He did offer to pick up whatever I wanted though. And I can't stress enough that I'm a broke ass right now. So thanks for the Erdinger and the small bottle of Makers that I would stash in my purse for later.
Is that weird to bring an ex to a party? Well, I thought it was a neat idea. We share a daughter so we have to talk anyway. We don't really SHARE her....I have her 99% of the time. But his parents watched her so we could go. People did not recognize him since he cut off all his hair and put on a little needed weight. People who were his best buddies from the womb.
It was one of those Eat Nine Potato Chips and Drink Most of the Bourbon nights. I can say for sure that I felt great last night.
This morning was another matter altogether. I had crashed at my ex in-laws house to save myself a drive home at 2:30am since I had to drop Cavey off anyway. And it would save me in gas to just already be there when Humanling woke up. Then we'd trot off to home, easy peasey, stop at Starbucks and delight in the offerings. (Broke Ass can conjure up $5 for Starbucks).
Lying down, I was fine. Then I went upright. Then I knew there was no turning back. My head hurt. I was handed a cup of coffee that Wasn't Starbucks, but was surprisingly tasty. I realized that now I was bombarding my stomach with coffee and no food. Cavey was making breakfast for his parents...eggs, ham, toast. The smell was dashing over to me in a relay race...first eggs, then ham, then toast. My stomach sent signals of distress. I ripped off the pizza crust from the night before's dinner. I thought maybe if I just nibbled it, then waved it around a bit, it would do something good for me. I just couldn't get too far with it. I forced Humanling to get her things before my Effort Smile could dissolve into abrupt rudeness. My head was ruthless, making a total display out of this hangover and letting the pain throb down my neck. Drama.
There was a half hour drive still to contend with. Or okay okay..maybe it was 25 minutes. Whatever, it was so bad that I knew I had to confess to the kid that I wasn't feeling great. Her empathy during the car ride was minimal. It caught up when we got home. We went through the Starbucks drive through. I could scarcely say the name of any food item out loud without the gag reflex.
Once home, I found that the gum I was chewing was stuck to one of my back teeth. This was a problem. I put my finger in my mouth to pull it off and the gag reflex hit for at least five seconds. That doesn't seem long, right? Oh. It was. I fed the animals, dosed the guinea pig with his meds and then me, three pillows and the chair became acquainted. Humanling was great about it and didn't even make noise about me putting on the music channel with swing music.
The fan was on, the breeze was great. Three hours later I got out of the chair, hungry and ready for coffee. Ah, the joy of contrast.
Sure was great to feel 25 again. Even if it was just remembering how it felt to be 25 the Morning After. But part of the fun was the drama that subsides after 15 years. Two of Cavey's ex girlfriends were there. One of mine was. One of his wanted to stab me back in 1997 for being the reason why he broke up with her. On this night, it was an abundance of Polite. Of smiles. Of water under the bridge. She is married and just had a baby. My ex has been married for about 14 years and has a 16 year old son. His other ex...well ok. That one complained to him that she stands out amongst her friends as she has no family.
I imagined that I suddenly had a feeling that I understood how many generations before us felt. Standing there with people you have known for so long and suddenly calculated how long exactly. Remembering everyone as mere kids, no responsibilities. And yet here we all are, plenty of responsibility. And still enjoying a good party. Just not sneaking off to make out with anyone now. A decent enough night to forget my obsession with Flip.
But oh yeah....I just remembered. I'm still waiting for the day that he write me an angry email. Waiting for the email that just has let go of the anger and wants to just hang out. I'm going to buy a new dress I think to match that shade of blue that I'll be from holding my breath for that one.
Sure was great to feel 25 again. Even if it was just remembering how it felt to be 25 the Morning After. But part of the fun was the drama that subsides after 15 years. Two of Cavey's ex girlfriends were there. One of mine was. One of his wanted to stab me back in 1997 for being the reason why he broke up with her. On this night, it was an abundance of Polite. Of smiles. Of water under the bridge. She is married and just had a baby. My ex has been married for about 14 years and has a 16 year old son. His other ex...well ok. That one complained to him that she stands out amongst her friends as she has no family.
I imagined that I suddenly had a feeling that I understood how many generations before us felt. Standing there with people you have known for so long and suddenly calculated how long exactly. Remembering everyone as mere kids, no responsibilities. And yet here we all are, plenty of responsibility. And still enjoying a good party. Just not sneaking off to make out with anyone now. A decent enough night to forget my obsession with Flip.
But oh yeah....I just remembered. I'm still waiting for the day that he write me an angry email. Waiting for the email that just has let go of the anger and wants to just hang out. I'm going to buy a new dress I think to match that shade of blue that I'll be from holding my breath for that one.
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