I'm more of a book stacker than a consistent follower of any televised program. Channels yes, for my mindspace wallpaper while I attend to other things. Except for American Idol. It's like football for the entertainment industry. Half my year is spent falling in love with contestants, looking forward to the next show, groaning at bad vocals and annoying hopefuls and hoping for the rare gem of a moment where a contestant goes from Ordinary to Dang - I think I felt a wet spot!!!
I can't get anything done while the show is on. Children and animals - they know their place. If they hear telltale Idolisms in the background - Seacrest waves a hummin', dramatic sudden loud Idol commercial musical parentheses, and an absence of drug side effects from every other commercial that IS on - they know to just hold the severed finger in place until commercial time. We will get there people - hold your horses while Simon serves it.
My soon to be ex despised the show. Oh wait, he despised breathing. I finally stood up to him one Idol season and announced that I would be watching it - in place of OUR TIME. It went over like the lead cancer causing balloon. He sat next to me and as if his life depended upon a referee calling him on it, would look at anything in the room EXCEPT the show. It was like the cartoons where someone would morph into a hee hawing mule right in front of your eyes. Peta almost handed out flyers to defend his stubborn jack ass.
Tonight, the guys are flaunting themselves where applicable. It's possible that no one flaunts as well as Danny Noriega. With his large, lucid eyes, creamy perfect skin and beautifully poutish lips, he just may be our Sanjaya wild card this season. Noted as of tonight, that boy is starting a trend, the color of "Ish".
David Cook - There's something wrong with his head...its like a slanted letter of an alphabet that doesn't exist. If you put a bag over his head then he actually filled the rock position fabulously tonight. Wait....is that the guy from the Foo Fighters?
Jason Castro should register his hair with his local police department as a weapon. It would take one quick turn of the head to pummel someone off a ledge with it.
I will try not to let any of these young crooners get under my skin. Once I get that little niggling of "WHY hasn't this one gone home yet?!", there's confetti falling from the ceiling and a bad pre-scripted song being song because they've won deal and will be boring my radio airwaves until the next one comes along.
I will admit that after watching Idol every single season, I only found out that Randy Jackson shared a birth canal with Michael Jackson.
It's a hard call from the big bang of the show to know who's going to be pulling that confetti outta their hair. It's really hard not to put my Junior Monopoly money on young and freshly Desitined David Archuleta.
It's time to get on with my life for this evening - that one long commercial that shows up after Idol is over has made its appearance. Time to wallpaper my mind.
